Page 71 of Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Trust me, Alex, it’s not even there. But how nice of him to direct a slam at Will first thing. And not even subtly.

‘But,’ he continues, waving at his teammates, who all have flowers in their hands, ‘I just wanted to say happy birthday, Berx. You have stolen my heart, you little thief!’ He laughs into the mic, the crowd laughing along. ‘That is why I love you.’ He drags the last three words out, saying them slowly and intently.

Helovesme? No thank you. We aren’t even officially dating anymore. He’s not even looking at me. The words were directed at the crowd, the cameras.Whydo I choose men obsessed with cameras? I glance back at where I was sitting, desperately trying to see if Olivia is seeing this. Duh, she obviously is, considering it’s playing on every big screen around the stadium. People are watching this from their homes.

Hell.In.A.Handbasket.

I told Will where I’d be today. He’s undoubtedly watching too. Watching me, the moment a man says he loves me and my response as of now is…

‘Thank you?’

Alex looks confused but motions for his teammates to hand me the flowers. ‘You guys know what to do.’ He points the mic towards the crowd, who break into a rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’.

As if having your family do this once a year isn’t bad enough. Imagine having thousands of soccer fans do it. My face is bright red; I just know it. Every part of me is buzzing with humiliation. Being singled out, the center of attention, in front of a crowd or the public is my idea of a nightmare and I’m currently living it.

I take the flowers from the guys; security helps, taking most of them from me since I am obviously just one small woman with only two hands and an entire soccer match to sit through after this.

‘I did this for you, babe,’ Alex says proudly, his hand on my back.

No, Alex. This wasnotfor me. This was for your ego. How dumb does he think I am?

‘I just, uh – I…’ I swallow the lump in my throat, preventing words. ‘I’m not good at crowds, but I love it.’ I lie. I’d also love to murder him right now. But too many witnesses.

I like Alex. Over the last year he’s become less douchey than I previously thought but Idon’tlove him. I gotta give him something, though. I’ve got no more words so I flash him a smile, and before I know it, without warning, he’s kissing me, with tongue, in front of thousands of people, now roaring as he dips me back, embarrassing the fuck out of me.

I didn’t see this getting worse than it was, but here we are. How in the hell did I end up in this mess? I don’t like cameras. I hate public displays of affection. Yet here I am, mid-field with a professional soccer player proclaiming his love for me, while I die a little more inside by the second. Without even thinking about it, I touch the charm on the bracelet Will gave me.

Minutes (that felt like hours) later, I’m back at the stadium seating, whisked off the field by security so the match can begin. I’m stunned silent. Two handfuls of loose flower stems, and the knowledge that a man just said he loves me on live television and I said ‘thank you’ float through my head like spider-webs. Sticky, icky and not easy to forget.

‘That was hard to watch,’ Olivia says as I walk the last few stairs to my seat. ‘Like seriously, I was cringing for you.’

‘You said “thank you”?’ Gunner asks, clearly disappointed in me.

‘Yep. “Thank you”. I said “thank you” but I meant “nothank you”.’

‘Once more, the Timbers wish Berkley a happy birthday!’ the announcer says, bringing a camera back to me, my face once again flashing on the screens around the stadium.

I plaster on an uncomfortable smile.Do not cry, Berkley. This isn’t the worst moment of your life. It just feels like it is.

‘Whatare you going to do?’ Olivia asks through a clenched jaw, ventriloquist style, a conversation tactic we’ve used many times in the past.

‘I don’t know, Liv. There isn’t a word big enough for how humiliating that wa—’

Right then, my bracelet buzzes on my wrist three times. Three times. When Will and I were teenagers, as he’d pull away from my house, he’d tap his brakes three times for ‘I love you’.

My phone dings in my pocket with an incoming text. I pull it out.Will Adler. I unblocked him this morning after he left because it felt like the right thing to do after he was so lovely last night. Suddenly, I have never been so glad he exists.

If you need me, I’m outside the stadium gates.

He came down here? Which means he saw it. He saw it, and he knew.

‘I gotta go,’ I say, grabbing my things and running up the stairs towards the exit.

‘Where are you…’ Olivia calls after me, her voice fading as I run through the stadium away from her.

I step out onto the sidewalk, spotting him standing across the street almost immediately. I look both ways, so I’m not smeared by a bus because my luck’s clearly not great today, then run across the road, stopping in front of him.

‘My hotel is three blocks from here. I watched the whole thing on TV. After I got your buzz, I ran,’ he says through heavy breaths, obviously having run.

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