Page 33 of Can't Take My Eyes Off You

One Year Later, June 2022

PDX ROYALSFANS

BOILING HOT! Every last one of these Royals is burning me right to my core in the best and worst of ways. From the bikinis to the Speedos (YES! Mike actually wears Speedos, viewers – warning: they’re leopard print and at least one size too small), add exuberant amounts of alcohol, and this show is the exact drama you never want to live. Let’s do a recap of what’s gone on so far.

King Mikey has lost his ever-loving mind. Shame is not a trait he understands. One moment he’s attempting to charm the swimsuit off Felicity in the pool during daylight hours (we all watched that make-out scene – CRINGE), the next second she’s begging Mike to talk her up to Will romantically. Though the aftermath of that did not go over well. ‘You want that little fuck, get in there and seduce him already, then.’ Do I sense a touch of jealousy on Mike’s part that the princess is smitten with his little brother?

Lord Finn is most certainly not lord of the dance, this much is clear. Elaine Benes can finally relax because after that club party a few weeks ago, Finn now holds the title of best bad dancer – EVER. Word of advice to you, Finn: be a wallflower. Where are all these women he claims he knows, anyway? For a guy with a sex tape, he spends an awful lot of the time flying solo. He is lord of the kitchen, though, as he’s been cooking up a storm and the crew had their first official ‘dinner party’ recently. I think Gordon Ramsay would have been proud of the way Finn handled himself in the kitchen. He wasn’t shirtless, washed his hands and actually seemed to be confident with good reason.

Princess Felicity is absolutely beautiful, elegant, successful and a real head turner, however… if I was given the opportunity to be her new BFF, I think I’d pass. (No offense, Felicity!) Never in a million years have I seen a woman throw herself at a man like she has Willy. My advice to you, Felicity: rewatch these episodes and take notes, sweetheart. We’re quite certain Willy has eyes for someone else.

Speak of the devil, Prince Willy. What is going on with you, darling? Between the drinking, the hiding out in his room or sneaking looks at his cell phone, I’d say he’s got more of a life outside the show than on it. Out of the group, he avoids the cameras the most, unless he’s completely smashed (which is often), then he’s a real hoot. Security tells us he’s very good at sneaking away from the cameras. Where is he going? Fans suspect another woman and we’ve got our sources on the hunt. Perhaps we’ll find out soon!

Maybe you’ve noticed the new gorgeous face around the Royals’ condo recently. She began as a walk-on character last season but she’s now an officially casted Royal! She’s not exactly a personality to be missed either. Sweet, smart and beautiful, she even graced the cover ofCosmopolitanmagazine recently with an article about her entrepreneur ways.

Danika Frost! (Yes, that Frost family.) Felicity’s longtime BFF has moved into the condo this season as she and Felicity start a health brand: Harper Frost. Vitamins, supplements, work-out and yoga gear – soon your medicine cabinet and gym bag will be full of Harper Frost products and we can’t wait!

The show airs on E! every Sunday at 9:00 p.m. PST.

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‘Finally, she’s ready to move on and we’re out in the world living life again!’ Olivia says happily.

Have I become a hermit in the last year? Sort of. Work is my escape and everything else is just me surviving. But I did it. We did it. Will and I finally let one another go and after a year, I’m ready to move on.

‘Butsoccer?’ I ask Gunner and Olivia as they lead me to our seats. ‘I don’t even know the rules.’

We’re walking sideways in front of people to get to our seats in the center of the section.

‘The rules are easy,’ Liv says. ‘Kicky dudes kick the ball into the net without hands while running. Did I mention they’re usually hot kicky dudes?’ she asks, glancing over at me, waggling her eyebrows.

‘Kicky dudes?’ Gunner asks, clearly not impressed with her description.

Meet Gunner. He’s twenty-seven, a little nerdy but in a ‘he’s pretty cool’ kind of way (a joke he does not enjoy) and has spent his adult life in creative writing class after creative writing class. He claims peer feedback is why his hair went gray prematurely. He writes sci-fi dystopian comic-style fanfiction online, publishing in chapters or ‘episodes’ that readers eagerly wait for.

After Frank’s exit, I needed a new employee because neither Olivia nor I were versed in fantasy, sci-fi or superhero. When Gunner walked in, résumé in hand, in full costume of some fantasy character I’d never heard of, he blew me away with his knowledge so I hired him on the spot. He’s worked at To Be Read for a year now and has built his section into something movie-worthy. Even Sheldon Cooper would be proud. An entire wall built of never-been-out-of-the-box action figures separates his department from Olivia’s. He does weekly meet-ups with a group of regulars that read every book he suggests, then come in for discussion hour. It’s easily the busiest reading group we have within the store.

‘You got a problem with kicky dudes?’ Olivia asks him, attitude galore.

He laughs nervously. ‘Nope. Perfectly explained. What else do you really need to know?’

With the foam finger shoved under his arm, the armload of food and beer, not to mention the team jersey on his back, you can hardly tell Gunner’s a fan. Olivia knows messing with his love of soccer or superheroes is the fastest way to irritate him. She’s pressing those buttons methodically. It’s their thing.

‘I’m just here because I like the food,’ Olivia says. ‘And obviously the hot kicky dudes. This was mostly Gunner’s idea, so if you hate it, blame him.’

‘Hello from under the bus,’ Gunner says, clearly offended, glancing past me and shooting a glare at Olivia. ‘I don’t remember you having any better ideas.’

‘I am thankful you chose a safe place.’ She ignores his tone, continuing her conversation. ‘We probably don’t have to worry about “someone” fromRoyalsshowing up unexpectedly and distracting us.’

They both stop walking, each giving me a cold look.

‘If you’re going to continue to bring him up, I’ll never truly get over him.’

He sent me a text a few days after that last night I saw him and asked:

Was thatitit? Like we’redonedone?

And I ignored him. It was so hard, and I cried as I deleted his text but he doesn’t really need me to answer because I know he knows already.

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