Page 40 of The Last Dance

‘OK… heisthat. But I am totally over Henry. I don’t even like him.’ My insides knot up as I say it.

‘You know what? I don’t own you. If you feel like you can be around him and not feel anything you once did, then you can absolutely do that.’

I nod, leaning against the doorway, watching him strip off his gun and holster, laying them on my bed, then undoing his shirt one button at a time, knowing damn well that I’m watching, until he finally tosses it my direction.

I know the Henry thing is probably weird for him, but I don’t think he’s going away any time soon. Plus, he’s got a girlfriend. He’s clearly moved way beyond anything he ever felt for me.

‘Should I start some swanky music?’ he asks as he slowly starts to unbutton his pants, swaying his hips.

‘I’ll never say no…’ I pull my phone from my pocket, pulling up a playlist and hitting play, him laughing and not missing a beat.

*

‘I’m so glad you texted! This is gonna be fun.’ Karmen says as she opens the front door to her apartment before I can even knock, like she’s been staring out the peephole waiting on me. She seems popular enough to have a boatload of friends so seeing her be so excited to see me, basically a stranger, makes me wonder if maybe she’s not as popular as I’ve made her out to be in my own head.

She lives about eight blocks from me, so I walked to her place. Mostly because I needed to check my nerves and walking is a great way to do this.

‘How exciting they promoted you!’

‘Itisexciting. It’s my first everrealpromotion.’ Actually, it’s my first promotion ever at nearly twenty-seven. Is that pathetic? I mean, I know we all move at our own pace, but I feel I’m at the back of the line in this game of adulthood, struggling to keep up with my own peers.

‘Instant self-esteem boost. Right? What made you want to be a writer?’

‘I wanted to go into the food industry, then I realized I’m definitely not cut out to be a chef, so I had to figure out another path. It was actually Henry that suggested maybe I’d be good at journalism. I was always spouting off these ridiculous explanations of whatever I’d had to eat that I couldn’t forget about and after I did some thinking, and years of struggling through working more than full timeandgoing to college, I graduated, and this job was my first after college.’

He had more faith in me than I did. And, as much as I didn’t want him to be right about anything after he left, when I got the job I might have said a silent thank you to him for pushing me to take the chance.

‘Isn’t he so great? I love how much he believes in the people he loves.’

I nod. Yeah, he’s a real believer. If I could roll my eyes and not have her notice I would. Henry has shown me that he’s only a believer in himself, in his needs. I glance around their apartment.Theiras in KarmenandHenry’s. I can tell he lives here too. His scent lingers in the air, which is kind of clouding my head. I knew he lived here because, obviously, I mean, I’m not totally clueless, I just didn’t want to believe it. But also, Claire warned me. I wasn’t really able to picture it until now. Well, probably I didn’twantto picture it. Can you blame me?

The ginormous black bookcase from IKEA that he and I spent an entire Saturday buying and putting together, me using every curse word in the book, is along one wall; hundreds of records sit on the shelves. Way more than he used to have. Clearly his record obsession has grown over the years.

‘So,’ Karmen interrupts my thoughts, ‘I was thinking today, and I’ve made a list of contacts for future reference. It’s mostly producers, stylists, and make-up artists. But they all have ins.’ She hands me a paper from the counter next to her, covered in writing. ‘But I’ve also got the perfect thing for your next story. Matthew Greene.’ She flashes jazz hands, a huge grin on her face.

‘Matthew Greene? As in the lead singer for Dangerous?’

I know this band. I know them well. They’ve moved to the top of the charts this year and I personally own every song they’ve ever recorded. So does Noah. Only a year ago they were opening for bigger bands and now they sell out their own tour dates within a matter of hours. I tried to get Noah and me tickets for their upcoming shows in either Seattle or Portland for our anniversary, but both were sold out by the time I even tried.

‘As inexactlythat. He’s an old friend. We grew up together. I know he’s not exactly local, but this will be his first show in Portland, so I think it would count as a local story? I know how you want to try and keep things local.’

I told her that the other day as we went to the Lyssa interview. It’s pretty thoughtful that she’s taking that into consideration and not just tossing me a list of random names she knows. I’m really starting to wish that Karmen weren’t as nice as she is. She’d be a lot easier to hate that way.

‘Wow. I can definitely use it as a local story from that aspect. You really think he’d let me interview him?’

‘Interview him? Hon, I was thinking more like hang out with them during their upcoming show. I can even get us backstage.’

She called me hon. That’s gonna be a mark off her outstanding impression thus far. I hate when people call me hon.

‘You’re serious?’ I’m a little shocked. I’ve never been backstage to meet a big band. Any time I’ve met a band it’s been an accident. Like the time I was in a bar and The Airborne Toxic Event walked in. I assumed they were guys hanging out at the bar waiting for the doors to open for the show, like we were. It wasn’t until Henry mentioned that they were the band we were headed to see that I realized who they were. I really wish he weren’t in every memory I have.

But me, hanging out with Dangerous, the top alternative band right now? I knew she was somehow connected to some famous people, but I’d never imagined she’d be this in with the music world. I figured she was doing movie-set hair on random no-name actresses.

‘Serious as a heart attack. What do you think? You in?’

‘I’m so far in I never wanna leave!’ I practically squeal. ‘Absolutely! Set it up.’

‘Perfect! Let me make a couple calls and I’ll finalize the details. I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home and sorry about the few boxes still unpacked. Henry.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘He’s not exactly fast at unpacking his side of things.’

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