Page 101 of The Last Dance

27

Over But Just Beginning

Ambri

Noah should be here any second. We agreed we needed to talk, but I can’t just talk; I have to break up with him. I’m in love with Henry. So much it scares me.

‘Hey.’ He opens the door after knocking, something he never does.

‘Hi.’ I walk over to him in the living room, leaving the box I was unpacking in the kitchen.

We both stand in the middle of my front room, silently. Looking anywhere but at each other.

‘I um…’ I take a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. ‘I can’t do this anymore.’

He nods, sighing out a breath as if he’s relieved to hear me say it. ‘Me neither.’

‘We worked for a while, but I think, no, IknowI’ve never really let you in and I’m sorry.’ I watch his face for any kind of sign as to what he’s feeling as I speak. I decided not to beat around the bush and say what I feel. Like tearing off a Band-Aid, so to speak.

‘Remember the other night when I mentioned I suggested moving in together for the wrong reasons?’

I nod. I wasn’t really sure where he was going with that. I guess I’m about to.

Noah sits on the coffee table. He stares down at the floor for a moment before looking up at me. ‘I was engaged before I met you. Actually, she was wearing the gown and I was wearing the tuxedo. At that moment where the priest was waiting for me to say I do, I said‘I can’t,’and I walked out on my own wedding. Suddenly I couldn’t do it.’

My mouth drops open.‘Noah!’

‘I know. It’s awful. But I met you the next day and you seemed like the perfect distraction. Someone who clearly didn’t really want anything serious. In fact, you said that, do you remember?’

I nod. I did say that. Every time I would run into him I’d tell him I wasn’t ready for anything serious, dating exclusively included.

‘I don’t know how I let it go this far.’

‘Wow,’ I say, shocked to hear that he has a past like this. I never would have guessed it.

‘When I suggested we move in together, I’d just found out that she was engaged again. Man, that hurt a lot more than I thought it would. Especially considering it was to a friend of mine. Me asking you to move in together was my way of seeming like I had my life together too. I knew it would get back to her and, even though I’d already broken her heart, I wanted her to feel what I felt finding out she was moving on with one of my friends. But she didn’t deserve that, it was more my pride being hurt and I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t love her, that’s why I ran out of the wedding. God, I feel like I’ve lost my mind here. I shouldn’t have dragged you into my issues.’

I sit on the bar stool behind me, stunned to hear this from him. I shake my head. ‘I didn’t even know youhadissues.’

‘I worked really hard so that you wouldn’t. You never asked about my past. So, that made it too easy to keep a secret.’

‘I never asked about your past because I didn’t want to talk about mine.’

‘I know. Watching you change since Henry’s been back, showed me that we were together for the wrong reasons. We both needed someone to distract us from hurt. We did that for a little while, didn’t we?’ He smiles but it’s half-hearted.

‘We did.’ I nod.

‘I’m sorry I never told you any of this. I should have.’

‘Believe it or not, I kind of get it.’

He bites his lips together. ‘I’m also sorry that I went to see Henry today. I might have taken out my frustrations of realizing all this on him. He’s doing what I probably should have done with Megan, but I didn’t. I was a coward when it came to her and that pissed me off to see Henry working his way in with you when he didn’t really deserve another chance.’

‘What?’

He nods, his lips pinched as he stands from the table. ‘I hit him.’

‘Youhit him?’ That’s what the bump over his eye was. Why wouldn’t he tell me that? ‘Why?’

---