Page 64 of The Last Dance

Not being overly sure of myself is exactly something I would have been when I was seventeen. Hell, I’d have been it most of the way through my early twenties too. Confidence comes as you age. That doesn’t mean we don’t continue to have those moments in life where we wonder if we’re really enough for whatever it is that’s challenging us. They just don’t come quite as often as they did in your teen years.

‘What have you thought of the process?’

‘Oh, my gosh, it’s been such a race to get everything done. Then, meeting the judges, talk about star-struck. I was so nervous.’

I can’t help but laugh with Taylor. She’s got her mom’s personality. Good to the core. There aren’t a lot of people like that in the world.

Taylor and I chat for a few more minutes about anything that’s stood out to her about the experience. She’s very obviously seventeen but not in a bad way. In an innocent-about-life kind of way. I remember that part of life. The part where you’re still so new at it that you assume everyone is good and that life will be great. You don’t see the struggles that will come up against you yet. I almost envy her purity.

‘I’d love to do an update on your progress the next couple weeks, so Portland can root for you, if that’s OK?’

‘I’d love that.’

‘Perfect, give me a call at this number whenever is convenient for you, OK?’

‘I will, thank you so much.’

‘No, thank you, Taylor. I’m really excited to follow your journey.’

When I finally hang up and glance back up, Karmen is still sitting across from me. If nothing else she is persistent. A white wine now sits in front of her. A manila envelope with my name on it now sits in front of me.

‘What’s this?’

‘Matthew felt bad about how things went. He wanted to make it up to you, so he’d like you to release this. It’s a performance of one of their new songs.’

I take a deep breath, staring down at the envelope. I pick it up. It feels like a lucky break. It’s almost too good to be true. A brand-new single from the hottest band out there right now. But I set it back on the table. I can’t promote him after what they’ve done. It’s just not right.

‘I don’t want it.’ I push it back towards her. Which is honestly really hard to do. This single thing could make me in the journalism world.

‘What about your story?’

‘Writing, music, and food are the three things I love the most. If I can’t succeed on my own in those three areas, then I don’t deserve to. I appreciate your help, but I can’t continue to use you or your contacts because I can’t unsee what I saw or unhear what I’ve heard. I can’t hurt Henry like that. I also can’t be friends with someone who would.’ I grab my bag from the table as I stand. ‘I’m so—’ I stop mid-word. Why am I apologizing? I’ve got nothing to be sorry for. She did this. ‘Bye, Karmen.’

It actually hurts to walk away from her and the opportunity to up my career with a really great story like that single could give me. I liked Karmen. I really did. I almost feel bad knowing that Henry is on his way to end things with her.Almost.

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