Page 52 of The Last Dance

‘Everything OK?’ Claire asks, a worried look on her face as she opens the door.

I shake my head.

‘Ben’s in the living room. I can leave if you want.’

‘No…’ I drape an arm around Claire’s neck. ‘You’re a part of this too.’ I walk her into their living room, Ben clicking off the TV as we walk in.

‘What’s up?’ he asks, looking as worried as Claire.

I’ve been worrying these two for too many years. Another validation that it’s time to do this. I toss the letter at him.

‘What’s this?’

‘Thatis a letter Rory wrote me before she died. She hid it in one of those stupid grief books she left me.’

He flips it over, Claire sitting next to him so she can see too. ‘It’s not opened.’

I shrug as I sit in the chair across the room from them. ‘I’ve never read it.’

They both look up at me, their mouths hanging open. ‘Why?’

‘I couldn’t do it. She was gone, and I didn’t want to know what it said.’ Keeping the letter unopened was a way for me to keep a piece of her alive. Something I could turn to if I ever really needed it. Something I could eventually let go of when I felt ready.

‘OK… so what’s happening here?’ Claire finally asks.

‘I’m ready to let her go. It’s way past time.’

‘No disrespect, but, Jesus, it’s about fucking time,’ Ben says. ‘I was beginning to think you’d never move past this. What do you need from us?’

‘I might need a place to stay soon and I was wondering if I could crash in your spare bedroom for a few days?’

‘What happened?’

I shake my head. ‘Nothing yet. But I’m not happy with…’ I sigh. It’s not just Karmen. It’s every decision I’ve made for the last two years. ‘My life? That will be changing too but I need to deal with one thing at a time here.’

Ben stands, slapping me on the shoulder with a smile. ‘You got this.’

I nod. He’s right. If I can’t let Rory go, I’ll be making this same circle for the rest of my life. ‘I’m going to see her and tell her everything. Get it all off my chest.’

‘Good idea. It might be rough, but she’ll get over it.’ Claire shrugs, forcing a hopeful smile.

‘Not Ambri. Talking isn’t getting me anywhere with her right now. I mean Rory,’ I say. ‘I’m going to the cemetery to talk to her and I’m leaving this with her.’

‘Aren’t you going to read it first?’ She hands me the letter I’m pointing at.

‘No.’ I shake my head as I take the letter from her. ‘It doesn’t matter what it says anymore. I need to leave it all behind, so I can move on. When I’m done, I’ll figure out how to tell Karmen everything.’

‘We’ll make up the guest room for you, buddy.’ Ben pats my back as if I’m about to be a dead man after telling Karmen. That’s a little bit what I’m worried about. ‘It’ll be just like old times.’

‘I kind of hope it’s nothing like old times.’ I laugh.

‘Right, we’re moving forward… so we’ll donewstupid shit.’ Ben laughs, lightening the mood.

‘Do you want us to go with you?’

I shake my head, staring down at my name on the envelope. ‘I need to do this on my own. I wanted to say it all out loud to someone so I wouldn’t back out. I’m counting on you guys to keep me accountable.’

‘You know we’re always on your side,’ Claire says with a small smile.

I stop as I head to their front door. ‘If you see Karmen, can you not tell her where I am until I figure this out?’

‘Promise,’ Claire says as she laces her fingers through Ben’s. ‘You can do this, Henry. I know you can.’

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