Page 47 of The Last Dance

I was kind of nervous about how today would go with Claire and I not really knowing much about Karmen besides the fact that she’s dating Henry. Which, when he isn’t here, isn’t as weird as I’d been expecting. I’m finding myself to like Karmen more and more.

Now we’re trying to figure out what exactly to try for dessert.

‘How about the s’mores place?’ She points a few booths down. ‘What’s it called, Nineteen27?’

I spot it immediately and lead the girls to it, falling more and more in love with her decision the closer I get.

‘Ugh… I don’t know how much more I can take.’ Claire groans, ready to give up before our cocoa espresso s’mores are even handed to us.

‘Man up, you weenie. It’s the last course.’ I hand her the mouth-watering marshmallowy treat and point towards an empty table near the live music. ‘Come on, we’ll take a break.’

‘Yum. This is definitely what I’m eating next time I’m broken-hearted, for sure.’ Karmen has taken a page from my own food book and has her eyes closed, enjoying every single moment of the bite she just took.

‘I’m with ya,’ I say.

‘This has been really fun. You guys totally remind me of my friends back home.’

‘Really?’ I ask, surprised that kind of boring Claire and me would be anything like her friends back home. I’m quite positive that Karmen is the girl throwing cool super-chic dinner parties with an e-invite and Claire and I are the girls pretending like we never got the email.

‘Yeah, totally. You’re both so easy-going. I haven’t even felt any cattiness. You seem to really support each other and have each other’s back. That’s pretty rare in LA. You’ve made me feel right at home in a place I don’t know well yet. Which brings me to why I’m telling you this… I have a question to ask you both. If that’s OK?’

‘Sure,’ Claire says with a shrug of her shoulders.

Shit. Apparently, comfort food also means the same girl talk I was dreading might happen at some point. I like Karmen, but I donotwant to talk about her relationship with Henry, if that’s where this is going.

‘You two have known Henry for a lot longer than me…’ She pauses, almost as if she’s thought about this conversation but is still trying to decide on her exact wording.

Henry is exactly where this conversation is going. I could change the subject? Be totally rude and interrupt her to discuss anything else. Coming off as rude or completely uncomfortable seem to be my only two options at this point.

‘He’s been kind of weird lately,’ she continues, despite my internal panic attack and my silently begging for her to stop.

I sigh; completely uncomfortable it is.

‘He’s really distracted,allthe time. Whenever I ask what he’s thinking about he says work. It seems like since we got here all we do is fight. Is this normal for him? I mean, even the sex hasn’t been the same. And normally it’s… ya know.’ She winks. ‘He’s like,wow.’ She giggles. ‘Anyways, he’s just not the Henry I know.’

I scrunch my face when she mentions sex because I do know the wow that she’s referring to. I’ve been replaying it for years because I’ve yet to have another wow that can compare. I’m gonna keep on pretending that she and Henry don’t have that kind of relationship. It’s easier that way.

I glance to Claire, whose eyes are wide, staring over at me.

‘Um…’ She pulls herself together much quicker than I could. ‘Does he work a lot? You said he always blames work. Maybe the new office is stressing him out? Ben gets stressed with work sometimes and that’s when we end up fighting.’

‘Yeah. That’s gotta be it. I wonder if maybe he’s struggling with his past since we’ve been back. He’s been through bouts of depression ever since I’ve known him, but this is different.’

I fill my mouth with sticky marshmallow, so I can’t speak. Another reason I love food. It can save you from the most talkative of situations. If he’s still going through major dark days he’s not progressed much since he left. Which means I was completely right when I called him out on it the other day.

‘To be quite honest, us moving in together and all the way here kind of felt like we were nearing a point where we take the next step in our relationship.’

‘The next step, as in marriage?’ Claire asks.

I will not choke on this s’more. I will not choke on this s’more.

‘What do you think, Ambri?’ Karmen calls me out.

I force the mouthful of s’more down in a swallow that hurts. ‘I uh – have you talked to him about how he feels about marriage?’ All I can remember is his only experience with marriage and how it ruined him. Long ago he and I talked about marriage and he wasn’t keen on it even then. I honestly never asked him about it again. Talking about marriage is for the girlfriend, not the best friend.

‘Well, I’m sure he wants to – he’s done it before. Plus, why would he have moved in with me if he was totally against the next step?’ She laughs as if that is perfectly obvious.

‘True…’ Claire’s eyes are huge as she tries to not let the cat out of the bag. ‘I say talk to him about it. Henry’s always been a pretty open guy. I’m sure whatever is going on he’ll confide in you.’

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