Page 14 of Below the Barrel

“Shut up,” she says through clenched teeth, eyes still squeezed shut.

I take a deep breath and try again. “It’s probably scarier than it has to be because you’re closing your eyes.”

“Shut. Up.”

“You probably think we’re minutes away from space.”

“I hate you,” she mutters.

Hearing her say that out loud hurts more than it should. It doesn’t surprise me, though; she’s treated me like her worst enemy ever since I broke up with her.

“Yeah, you’ve made that very obvious over the last year,” I say, trying to sound lighthearted but failing miserably when she opens her eyes and turns to study me.

I swallow past the lump in my throat as her ocean blue eyes hold mine. I feel like I could drown in their depth. She tears her gaze away from me, opting to focus on my shirt instead.

“I’m not your problem anymore, Koa. You don’t have to try and comfort me when I get scared.”

She turns her gaze to the view, and I watch as her eyes go round before she jumps toward me, gripping my shirt with trembling fingers. I mentally kick myself for feeling as happy as I do with the fact that she ran to me for safety, as if I’m still her safe space.

I instinctively wrap my arms around her, pulling her in closer, and rest my chin on top of her head.

“I want you to be my problem, Mal,” I mumble, ignoring how she stiffens in my arms.

After nearly a whole minute, I feel her wrap her arms around my waist in return, causing my heart to pick up at a rapid pace in my chest.

“I don’t remember you being such a cuddler,” I lie. She used to love cuddling at every opportunity she could get—in the morning, evenings, and between the sheets.

I hear her scoff, but she doesn’t say anything more as we stand embracing each other as if nothing ever changed.

“I fixed it,” Matt shouts, jumping to his feet and pointing the camera in our direction.

Maliah releases me and pulls out of my hold in an instant, returning to facing the views with a face flushed red. I glare at Matt before turning my back to him and standing shoulder to shoulder next to her.

“We never speak of that moment, ever. Got it?” she hisses.

And just like that, my bubble of happiness and obliviousness bursts and reality sets in like a tidal wave.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I reply, not bothering to hide the disappointment from my voice as I turn around and walk back to the burner after noticing the other balloons beginning to descend.

I use the burner and the venting system to release some of the hot air from the balloon and steady our descent to the landing site, trying my best not to frown as Matt turns the camera toward me.

Griffin:

Wait, she hugged you back?

I sighas I stare at my phone screen. I’ll probably regret telling him about what happened between Maliah and I on the hot air balloon earlier today, but staring at the ceiling from my bed with my thoughts raging wild wasn’t doing me any favours either. So, I turned to the only person I knew who could keep a secret.

Me:

Yeah, but like I said, as soon as the camera was on us, she was gone from my arms and telling me that the moment never happened.

I’ve replayed the interaction in my head on repeat and I can’t make sense of it. Does she hate me or not? Does she still have feelings for me?

Griffin:

Do you know what this means?

I tap my finger on the edge of my phone as my scowl deepens. I mean, what else could it mean? She’s obviously embarrassed tobe seen anywhere near me. Once a poor kid, always a poor kid—as her father put it. But I don’t tell Griffin that.

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