Page 44 of Beyond The Break

“Gabriel seems upset, don’t you think?” I ask, returning my attention to him.

His body stiffens as he sits more upright, but he continues to stare out at the horizon before replying.

“I don’t blame him.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He worked his ass off to help me get my career off the ground just for me to ruin it all in one competition. I know he doesn't blame me, but he expects me to put my all into getting back to the top,” he says, hunching over, “but I’m not.”

“Why not?”

He sighs and looks over at me, studying my face with his sad grey eyes. I watch the internal battle play out on his face expressions before he closes his eyes and turns back to face the horizon.

“Because I’m scared, Eliana,” he finally says.

My name rolling off his lips causes a chill to run down my spine but the vulnerability in his voice is what really gets me, my hair standing on edge.

He’s scared?

“Of what?”

“I think if I give it my all, I might lose surfing altogether.” The fear in his voice is palpable. “My medical team never cleared me to return to surfing.”

I gasp as realization dawns on me. “It hurts you, doesn’t it? Standing up on your board and surfing, it hurts?”

He swallows, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat before he nods twice. “It hurts to stand, surf... walk, jog. I'm pushing through the pain, but I can feel it getting worse.”

Genuine fear for him forms in my chest and I wonder if I should tell Gabriel. Griffin would feel betrayed, but it might save him from getting hurt again.

“So, the wave conditions today for a blessing in disguise,” I say quietly.

He nods. “I think I’m coming around to accept that I likely won’t be able to surf professionally after this season, but I want to help the team get to first place before I officially retire from the sport. I’m just afraid I won’t be able to surf for fun either if I keep going.”

What would it be like for an athlete to lose the sport they love forever? After witnessing the time and dedication that goes into it I can't imagine a loss like that being an easy one.

“Gabriel mentioned that the team has a physiotherapist. Have you booked yourself in to get assessed with her?”

“Not yet, but I plan to.”

“I think you really should,” I whisper.

He locks his grey eyes on mine again.

I could get lost in them, so I force myself to look away, clearing my throat and adjusting myself on my board. I’m reading too much into our shared looks and intimate moments. He’s made it clear that he wants me gone from this house, so I refuse to let myself overthink the meaning behind the looks, words, and actions.

No matter how much a part of me wants to…

My mind wanders back to the moment I had with him by the palm tree earlier today. I had gone there to clear my mind, the rejection of being in his company had hurt and I was finding it hard to focus on my job. I hadn’t expected him tocome and find me, let alone get as close as he did. His rough hand on my chin, forcing me to look up at him, had been enough to leave me breathless.

I blame my inexperience on the reason why my body reacts so easily to everything he does. I'm honestly just a walking ball of horniness at this point, especially around Griffin.

“So, during your heat today,” I start, forcing my thoughts away from the memory by the tree, “was that Colton you were arguing with out there?”

“The one and only,” he mumbles, shifting on his board.

“At first, I thought he was trying to distract you from catching any waves, but when he didn’t make any moves to catch any himself, I realized he was throwing the competition.”

Griffin stiffens, his eyes returning to the horizon. I wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t.

---