Page 39 of Beyond The Break

A girl that good looking has no business being around me, especially not during practice. I had to beat myself off twice in the shower just so I could feel more like myself again. I know I shouldn’t feel like this, it’s one step away from losing sight of what I’ve worked so hard for, but I can’t stop it.

It’s like the more I try to stay away from her, the more I can’t stop think about her. The harder I fight it, the harder it becomes. I shouldn’t have been awake, staring at my ceiling, when I heard her whimpering. And I sure as hell shouldn’t have jumped out of bed and rushed to her room to make sure she was okay.

Six months away from everyone, except for my medical team, must have been long enough for my brain to begin craving connection again, because I‘ve never been this feral about anyone. With a curse I begin pumping my cock faster, grabbing a nearby towel, until my head falls back and I cum with another low groan.

The obnoxious soundof my phone alarm drags me from restless sleep. I blindly reach over to my nightstand, feelingaround until I find my phone and pull it under the sheets, turning off the alarm as the screen brightness blinds me.

Today is my first competition since returning to the team from my accident, but instead of worrying about it, my thoughts wander to Eliana. Last night I almost crossed a line with her. It took everything in me to turn around and leave her room instead of showing her what a real orgasm feels like.

When I returned to my bedroom, it only took five minutes before I came apart. She drives me insane, but I know that as much as I want her, I can’t let what happened last night happen again. She’s quickly becoming all that I can think about.

I need to focus on this competition and mentally prepare for how I want to handle the waves, not how I want to handle her. Releasing a frustrated sigh, I roll out of bed and change into a black track suit, deciding to take a quick jog along the beach to clear my head before leaving for the competition.

The air is brisk as I start my jog. I love doing this when my mind feels cluttered, it’s when I’m able to just think and be the most honest with myself. Except now whenever I jog it’s accompanied with the familiar ache in my leg. It was hard not to have this escape for the first few months of my recovery, I never realized how much I would miss it until I couldn’t do it anymore.

Ten minutes into my run, I allow my walls to come down and the first person to pop into my head, aside from Eliana, is Colton. He was my best friend before the accident. We grew up together and experienced similar setbacks in life. I always looked at him like he was the brother I never had, yet he still betrayed me in the worst way.

The worst part about it all is I just can’t figure out why he did it. I’ve thought about it for months, trying to figure out where it went wrong. Had I offended him somehow? Pissed him off enough to want to kill our friendship? Every time I think about it, I come up blank. I haven’t had a proper night’s sleep ever since he did what he did. I need answers.

I know he’ll be at the competition today and it lights a fire inside of me. My heart starts to beat hard, and my hands turn cold as I feel the rage ripple through me, coursing through my blood. I put all my frustration and anger into the jog, picking up my pace. Seeing him is going to be a huge test, and I hope I can keep myself together before I ruin everything for my team.

Gabriel parksthe team van in our reserved spot at Dolphin Bay, the beach where today’s competition is being held. The parking lot is packed with cars and families walking around excitedly. Surf competitions are a big event for Saltwater Springs, as well as the nearby towns that participate; the townsfolk always find the time to show up and support their hometown teams, hoping that we’ll be the reason our town finally gets put on the map.

“Alright, everyone out of the car, let’s get you all signed in and then let’s meet up at the team tent.” Gabriel says as he hops out of the driver’s side and takes long strides toward the sign-in table. Eliana climbs out from the passenger’s side and runs after him, her duffle bag full of equipment bouncing behind her.

I haven’t spoken to her all morning, finding ways to avoid her attempts to approach me. I can’t let her get in my head right now, not until after this competition. I need to block her out, it’s the only way to stick to my no distractions rule.

The whole point of the rule is to make sure I’m putting everything I have into helping our team get to Qualifiers. I let Meghan distract me from that goal last season and I refuse to allow history to repeat itself.

The rest of the team jumps out of the van, heading to thetrunk for our boards and bags. Koa, the gentleman that he is, tries to help Mal with her bag which results in absolute chaos as she snatches it from his hand and storms off towards the line.

“I see there’s still some trouble in paradise then?” I ask, nudging Koa playfully.

“Something like that,” he mutters before making his way to where she stands.

As Kairi, Zale and I make our way to the sign-in line, my eyes gravitate to a group of surfers nearby. As I focus on them, I spot Colton in the group, smiling and laughing with his new team. My grip on my surfboard tightens as I stop walking to glare his way.

The bastard looks happier than ever.

My left eye twitches.

He’s laughing all carefree, as if he didn’t ruin my life. For months while recovering I couldn’t wrap my head around howhedid something bad, yetIwas the one that had to suffer for it. I’m the one whose career hangs by a thread, while he gets to go on with his life as if nothing happened.

As if feeling my eyes on him, his gaze slides away from his teammate and lands on mine, his cheerful smile fading away. We stand frozen in time, staring at one another without blinking. The things I would do right now for the opportunity to punch him again. To make him feel even an ounce of the pain I had to go through.

“He’s not worth it, Fin, let’s get to the tent,” Kairi says gently, coming to stand beside me as her eyes linger on Colton.

When I don’t answer, she sighs.

“I can’t keep you out of trouble on top of Mal and Koa.”

“You don’t need to keep me out of trouble,” I say as I turn away from Colton, “I’m not looking for it.”

She places her small hand on my elbow, and I let her guide me away, towards the others waiting in line. We each sign in,after the sign-in girl stops drooling over Koa, and head over to the Saltwater Springs tent where Gabriel stands talking to reporters. When they spot me approaching, they ditch him and crowd around me instead. Their voices blending together until one reporter steps up and speaks louder than the rest.

“Griffin Jones, how does it feel to be back after such a brutal accident?”

I clench my jaw, trying to control my frustration, as anger builds within me. The question is more triggering than I thought it would be, the wordbrutaldredging up memories of the pain and struggle I had to endure during my recovery.

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