Page 180 of Red Ruin

But I hold them back.

I’ve been holding myself back for much longer.

“Icalledyou. For help. Forthat.” I jab at the greened-out horizon where spine-tingling energy whines as if the veil between worlds is seconds from shattering. “You might not care about some backwater border territory, but the Farguard has been out here, holding the line while you’ve been hunting relics and drinking espresso in your garden. I know I’m not the best person to stand in this position, but at least I wear the badge with pride in something other than myself. Are you capable of that?”

Kevan’s nose pinches. He’s not nearly as aristocratic when his lips pucker like a constipated hole. “Correct. You’re not a leader. If you were a proper Guide, you’d be proud to stand back as a support.”

My ears hum.

I feel like I’m watching myself through a tunnel.

“That’s what you thought of me?” I ask, trying to wet my lips.

Funny.

I don’t remember him complaining when I was keeping the Deathguard from grinding to a halt.

I did his paperwork every time he disappeared to chase some legendary wishbone.

I exhausted myself until my nose bled.

Kevan was always in top condition under my care, his daily life a breeze.

I’ve saved his Sentinels, his life, and his sanity so many fucking times.

I knew Kevan wouldn’t care for me the way I cared for him.

But I never would’ve guessed he was questioning my fuckingcompetency.

“If I’d stood back as your support, I would’ve died a thousand times.” I scan the Deathguard Sentinels as I vibrate.Surprise, surprise.None will meet my eyes. “You never protected me. I protected you.”

My replacement shifts to flash his own badge—the blue emblem of the Deathguard’s Shield Keeper.

It’s the position I was promised after marriage.

Kevan thinks a barely legal kid with dough-hands can do a better job than me?

Go ahead. Ruin the whole legion.

Thank the fucking stars they found each other.

Otherwise, I would’ve let Kevan drag me around forever, thinking I was getting somewhere.

Kevan’s eyes sink back in his skull. “Don’t be immature, Iris. You disappeared before the family could make new arrangements for your future.”

“Iris? She’sthatIris?” Kevan’s Guide asks, wide-eyed and fake as hell.He knows exactly who I am.“Duchess Calliope said she was visiting the seaside to recover from her loss.”

Yeah. Sea of fucking corpses.“Are you helping us fight or not?”

“I’m here to take over the investigation of a potential Kyorgos heritage site. I understand that you feel slighted by the way our contract ended, but we can’t afford to waste time. Now, hand me your badge. We’ll discuss your position after the tomb is secure.”

I let out a bitter puff of air.

Peak Kevan.

He rolls in and takes over as if all my work was his from the start.

“Fine.” I unpin the badge and pause to erase my mental imprint. I never want him touching any part of me again.

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