Page 39 of Red Ruin

“So far.” I rub my arms.

I can’t answer how or why. I’m always more concerned with the results.

I’d feel even more guilty about the heartbroken look in Crispin’s eyes if I didn’t always feel the same.

“Go grab Dorset and her squad.” Warden Dell slaps his shoulder, knocking him out of his daze.

Crispin stumbles away, glancing back at me with every step.

After the doors slam behind him, Warden Dell whistles. “Emotional damage.”

“It cuts both ways.” I collapse on the lobby sofa.

“What’s it like?” she asks, perching on the sofa’s arm. “My highest match was fifty percent, and that already knocked me on my ass.”

My head tips back against the cushion.

It’s hard to explain how something can feelso goodand yet be total torture. “Imagine you’re with the Sentinel who was your best lover? You’re guiding them, giving them everything they want and need. But they justtakeand never let you finish. They edge you and edge you and edge you and?—”

“Got it.” She hunches her shoulders, shuddering. “So like, constant spiritual cockblock?”

“Pretty much.” Sentinel sex is fantastic, even with a transformed lich. It’s theafterthat always leaves me empty.

Sure, I’m special.

Like the rental version of their dream car.

Fun to test-drive, but who would be satisfied with a temporary dream?

Every Sentinel is waiting for their lottery win. They want the real deal in their garage.

When it’sreallyright, they kick out the old, and boot the new wheels.

Just ask Kevan.

Without an imprint, no Guide-Sentinel partnership will ever be permanent.

“Are you sure you want to test with everyone? Crispin is a puppy compared to the A-classes. They’ll follow you around like wolves.”

“Azrid and Trezzoran won’t let them.” No smitten, B-class Sentinel is going to fight to steal me from a duke.

They give like wet paper.

Kevan wasn’t even my first betrayal.

Marsh. Viktor. Samsen.

I started feeling the high compatibility long before my power showed up on the tests.

Every Sentinel I trained with in Ashbourne’s private force who waxed on and on about a future with little teenaged Iris ghosted me the second a Kyorgos put in a claim.

The fantasy—even the futurepossibility—of a better match always wins over the girl who’s giving them everything right now.

Determined, I take the artifact back from Cherise. “I want all the Sentinels to know they don’t have to be afraid of rampaging while I’m here.”

Vhex and Remy need a different message made clear.

The S-classes will be my first priority, but they’ll never be myonlypriority.

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