Page 58 of Jasper

He scratches the back of his neck, eyes thoughtful. “Can we talk for a second?”

My stomach flutters. A little wary. A little nervous. But his tone isn’t sharp. It’s quiet. Careful.

I bite my lip and hesitate, then nod. Slowly, I stand, dusting myself off and making my way over. I lower myself onto the bench beside him, folding my hands in my lap.

He angles toward me, his brows pinched slightly.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “For the other night. When I flinched.”

The words take me off guard. My eyes widen slightly.

He goes on before I can reply, “You didn’t do anything wrong. I should’ve said something sooner. It’s just… I don’t do well with touch. Especially when I’m not expecting it.”

I nod, even though I don’t understand. “Why?”

Theo looks away for a second, jaw tight. Then he meets my gaze.

“Because when I was a kid, people hurt me. Really badly.” His voice is low, raw. “And after that, touch became something I feared. Something that didn’t mean love or comfort. It meant pain. It’s gotten better over time, but when someone touches me out of nowhere, I still get startled.”

Tears sting my eyes before I can stop them.

“I’m so sorry, Theo,” I whisper. “I didn’t know. I never would’ve?—”

He shakes his head. “You don’t need to be sorry. I wanted you to understand it wasn’t you. I like you being here. You’re good for Jasper, and for the rest of us, too.”

I shake my head, wiping at my eyes quickly. “I smacked your hand. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even think. It was just… a reaction.”

His expression softens, lips curving into a small smile. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. It’s not okay. I’ve been on my own for so long. I’ve had to fight for food. Dig in dumpsters. Go without. And now, even when there are platters of food in front of me, some part of me still panics in the same way I did when I was starving and finally got something to eat. Like if I don’t eat it now, it’ll be gone.”

I stare down at my dirt-streaked fingers, ashamed. “I didn’t even realize how afraid I still was until Jasper reached for my food when I first got here. I smacked him, too. It’s so embarrassing. I’m so sorry.”

Theo is quiet for a long moment.

Then he shifts slightly and places his hand on the bench beside mine. Not touching. Just there. Close. A quiet offering.

“I get it,” he tells me. “More than you know.”

And I believe him. Because while we may not have been through the same things, he’s definitely dealt with his own struggles.

My heart is a little lighter, and I try for a watery smile. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel quite so broken.

I blink back another wave of tears and glance up at him. “I won’t touch you again,” I say softly. “I never meant to hurt you.”

He stares at me for a moment, then shakes his head slowly. “No. Don’t stop touching me, please.”

I freeze. “What?”

He nods. “I need to learn. Iwantto learn. I want to be able to accept touch from all my family. For it to mean comfort instead of fear.”

I nibble on my lip, heart beating a little faster. “But I’m not part of your family…”

He reaches out, slow and deliberate, and brushes a loose strand of hair from my face. His fingers are warm and gentle. “You are,” he says. “You’re as much a part of this family as any of us. We all might be a little fucked up but that’s okay because we have each other. And you have us, Little one.”

Something in my chest twists and pulls. Hope. Belonging. It hurts in the best kind of way.

I can’t speak for a long time, but when I finally do, it’s painful because of the lump in my throat. “Then let’s make a deal.”

---