Page 2 of Jasper

At the sound of my name, she gasps, a sharp, shuddering breath, and her eyes snap open.

Wide. Wild.

Terrified.

She looks at me like she’s dying and I’m both the devil and her angel.

Seconds tick by, long and aching, before her lips part and a sob escapes.

“Jas…” she breathes.

“I’m here.”

I settle on the edge of her bed, careful not to crowd her, but close enough to be a tether. My hands feel useless, heavy in my lap, but I offer one anyway.

She takes it. No hesitation.

The tiniest act, but it steadies something in me.

When she came to live with us fifteen years ago, she would’ve flinched at my shadow. Would’ve curled into herself like a wounded animal. But now? Now she reaches forme.And as much as I hate the pain she’s in, the fact that she wants me for comfort, to hold her, and trusts that I’ll take care of her, means the entire world to me. If it weren’t for Rowie, I’d believe I’m nothing but a monster. She shows me that there’s still something good in me, and I hope there always will be. As long as she stays in our lives, I think we’ll all have a bit of good in us.

If there’s one thing my brothers and I have done right in our lives, it’s this. Her trust. Her safety. Her knowing she has a family who would do anything for her.

“I’m here,” I say again, voice low and steady, as if repeating it will ward off the darkness. “You’re safe. You’re always going to be safe with us.”

She nods slowly, her breathing still uneven, shoulders sagging beneath the weight of her memories. Tears track down her red cheeks, and her lips quiver, but she’s being so strong. Like always. I don’t know how she has survived her nightmares this long. It’s a miracle they haven’t destroyed her completely.

I hate that we have this in common. That shared ache of haunted nights. But maybe, in some twisted way, it makes us closer. Gives us a language only we understand.

“Will you stay with me?” she asks quietly, her fingers curled around my T-shirt like a lifeline.

Same question every time. And my answer never changes.

“Of course I will,” I say. “But you can’t snore like last time. I barely slept with you sucking the curtains off the rod.”

A fragile smile flickers across her lips, even as a tear slides down her cheek. She uses the hem of her bunny nightgown to wipe her cheeks dry, then tucks the frilly material back under the blankets.

“We both know Marshmallow is the one who snores,” she mumbles, nodding toward the floppy-eared stuffed bunny by her pillow.

I snort. “Whatever you say, brat. Now scoot over before I kick Marshmallow out and take his spot.”

She moves, barely enough for me to climb in beside her, and when she curls into my side, something inside me loosens.

“Do you need to go potty before we go back to sleep?”

“No,” she whispers. “I’m good. Thanks, Jas.”

I might not be able to fight her demons. But I can sure as hell sit with her in the dark until they quiet.

A few minutes pass before she sleepily speaks. “Thank you for being such a good brother. I love you.”

My heart squeezes as I gently press a kiss to the back of her head. “I love you, too, Rowie. We all do. Always have, always will.”

Sometimes I think she still worries we’ll grow tired of her because of the struggles she fights. If only she knew that her very existence is one of the things that has kept us going all these years. She’s one of the bright spots in our dark, fucked-up lives. And now we have both her and Ember. And despite my lack of sleep, life isn’t all that bad.

* * *

The first hints of dawn seep through the window, soft and golden, with promises of a beautiful day. Rowie’s still tucked against my side, her breathing finally even and deep. I don’t move right away, just watch the sunrise as I stare out the window toward the snowcapped mountains, grateful that she managed to sleep through the rest of the night.

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