Page 57 of Sunny Skies Ahead
That was an understatement. In the same way that Connor ran from Watford without so much as a text to Abbie, I had run from my mother. I’d found her a place with Gail’s facility, helped her move out and sell my childhood home, and then I’d hopped on a flight right back to Camp Pendleton. I hadn’t stopped to consider every longstanding implication of her decline, and what that meant for our relationship.
My relationship with Lilliana had been complicated since my father’s death. She’d walked through an unimaginable loss. As an adult, I had all the empathy in the world for her. As a teenager, I’d wish I could take that pain from her.
But in recent years, I’d walked the labyrinth of untangling that time in our lives, and realized that her actions had impacted my life in detrimental ways.
She’d been grieving, but I had been a child.
She had just lost her life partner, but I’d lost my fatherandmy mother in one crushing blow.
“I’m happy to take things over here,” Imogen said as she pressed the start button on the coffee machine. “Take as much time as you need.”
I ran a hand through my hair, trying to silence the anxiety roaring within me.
“Will you come with me?”
Imogen’s expression morphed into one of shock, though she smoothed it over quickly.
“You want me to go with you to visit your mom?”
Her tone wasn’t accusatory, but her words still dug at some wounded part of me. As much as I poked fun at people like Connor and Lucas who kept their secrets protected, I’d always prided myself on being the one person who laid it all out on the field. I didn’t hold things back.
Except for my parents. My father’s death and my mother’s subsequent illness created a gaping wound within me I knew would never fully heal. I was an open book about everything, except for them.
“Yes,” I said, my voice rough under the weight of the emotion clogging my throat. “I need you with me.”
My feelings for Imogen transcended want. They had for a long time. I was slowly getting to a place where I could admit that if she walked away now, I would crumble. If she met my mother and decided afterwards that all of this was too much, I wouldn’t be the same.
I couldn’t go back to a life without her in it. It felt insane to say that aloud, considering she and I hadn’t known each other that long. We existed in each other’s orbits, twining aroundeach other through the festival last year and Imogen’s work at Winding Road these last few months.
The thought of losing her made me dizzy.
“Hey,” Imogen said, and even though she wasn’t a mind reader, she abandoned the coffee machine and strode over to me, holding my face in her gentle hands. I slid my hands up her arms to cover her hands with mine. “I can tell when you’re going to the bad place, you know.”
I know you can,I wanted to say.You know me too damn well, and it’sterrifying.
As if sensing my discomfort, Bass came running through the back door, rubbing against Imogen’s legs first before coming to sit between mine. I shook my head fondly at the creature. We’d gotten off to a rocky start, but I couldn’t deny how much his presence had grown on me.
“Of course I’ll go with you to visit your mom,” Imogen said, stroking my cheeks with her thumbs. “I’m honored that you asked.”
“Sorry for ambushing you with that,” I murmured, focusing on her eyes as the tightness in my chest eased.
“You don’t need to apologize, cowboy,” Imogen said, and my heart squeezed anew at the term of endearment that was reserved exclusively for her. “Whatever hesitation you sensed on my part had nothing to do with you asking me to come with you, and everything with my own anxiety about meeting your mom.”
“She’ll love you,” I said, even though my mind sped through the various ways this visit could go poorly. If my mother was lucid, things would be fine—great, even. And if she didn’tremember who I was, there was little chance she’d be okay meeting someone new. I also knew that there was a very good chance Lilliana would say something outrageous to Imogen if she wasn’t fully lucid, and that was the most terrifying possibility out of the three.
“When do you want to go?”
“I just need to call Gail,” I said, glancing at the clock. It was only 9 a.m. “It’s been a few weeks since she asked me to visit.”
“I can be ready in thirty minutes,” Imogen said, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. “I’ll get dressed.”
She slipped away from me, and I felt the absence of her hands on me like the warmth from a campfire suddenly extinguished. I leaned back against the counter, gripping the edges as I stared at the floor.
“Crap,” I muttered. “Crap.”
Even while regretting every single one of my life choices up to this point, I pulled out my phone and dialed Gail. To no one’s surprise, she was ecstatic to finally hear from me and said we were more than welcome to come to Laketon today to see her.
“She’ll be overjoyed to see you,” Gail said. “I’ll let the nurses know to expect you and your companion.”
