Page 6 of Deviant Illusions

“You’re not just any whore,” I hum. “You’re a little pain slut, aren’t you?”

The little liar doesn’t move her head, so I nod for her with my hold over her teeth.

“I should have known when you hated me getting your ass ready to fuck. Do you remember begging me?” I copy her voice as I say, “Kane, we only have fifteen minutes before Asher comes back.” A derisive scoff shakes through my chest as I shake my head, hers too while she glares at me. “You would’ve let me go in dry just to feel the burn. You would’ve come on the spot. What a filthy fucking whore you are.” I look down her body, then fix on my reflection in her eyes. “It’s fucking pathetic to see what you’ve become.”

She bites down on my fingers, and I push them further into her mouth. My knuckles scrape against her teeth and sting as she tears at the skin, but there’s nothing other than joy in me.

Fight.

That’s what I want her to do. I need her to show me the sadistic version of her that she hid from me the first time. Each insidious part allowed her to blindly put a nail in my coffin. Now, I need to see them openly, so that in the inevitable moments I get weak and tell myself that my pretty girl is still alive somewhere inside of her, I have proof that she never existed. Delilah’s weak when it comes to dick, but I’m weak when it comes to her.

I’m not the same boy who loved her though. I never will be again. I need all the pain she caused to be inside ofherinstead of here in my fucking head, constantly repeating on a tormented cycle that I can never escape.

Her thrashing gives me a target as she shakes her tits in my face. Tightening my hold over her teeth, I push my fingers up until my knuckles are pressed against her soaked flesh, and bite down into the swell of her chest. My jaw locks as she screams around my fingers. My little doll uses it as an opportunity to steady herself, wrapping her leg around my waist.

I let her skin go from between my teeth, and I can’t contain my amusement as I ask, “You would really die just for dick?”

Removing my fingers from her, I hold her hips and push down. She chokes and splutters, “Fuck. You.”

“With your dying breath? I’d love to.”

I grab her other thigh and she moans as I wrap it around my waist. The noose is pulled taut but she’s so fucking eager for dick—for me—that she doesn’t care and pushes her hips down. She fights her body’s natural urge to breathe to try and touch me. It’s fucking powerful to know that’s how much she needs me.

I hold the back of her thighs and automatically pull her higher. Even after all these years, my instinct is to protect her. To fucking save her and help her when she ruined me. The one thing I’ve been craving is right in front of me. It isn’t between her legs. It’s a different set of lips. I lean forward and my eyes close as I kiss her.

Everything from my lips is innocent in this moment. We’re teenagers again, with the echoes of her giggling in the past reaching into the present. A shiver works up my spine at the memory of her touch. Of Delilah running her fingers through my hair as she laid on my chest, whispering up at me.

MORNING

KANE – 17

Delilah doesn’t stir as I reach around her limp body, draped across my chest. I lift her old sheet music from the graveyard she’s created under her bed. I only need four more pages to get her birthday present ready. Since she hates real flowers because they’re pointless, she’ll have an ever-living arrangement full of all the compositions she’s created. Like a physical reminder that she gets better every day.

For once, I want her to be excited about the day rather than using it as a countdown to get away from her parents. It’s the day that commemorates her existence, and she’s too good not to be celebrated.

She shifts on my chest and buries her face into the crook of my neck. I stuff her sheet music under my jeans and press my lips to the top of her head. She’ll wake up soon. Then, I’ll be forced to sneak out of her house, so her parents don’t confuse me for Asher again.

The guilt I used to have has disappeared. Especially when she’s like this, because she was mine first. If she wasn’t, this wouldn’t be so right. We’d both be tormented by guilt.

Asher sees Delilah as a pawn or some business asset. He doesn’t love her. Not like I do, but she refuses to leave him.

I spent the first nine months of my existence in his shadow, so what’s the rest of my life as long as I have her?

She’s adorable like this as she lifts her hand and cups my cheek before her eyes have even opened. “You stayed,” she whispers, more to herself, before she rolls her head to look up at me. “Morning, baby.”

The smile on her face will be protected with my life. But she hasn’t said my name, and there will always be a voice in the back of my head telling me she sees Asher before she sees me. It’s his voice too, and she knows it. Her eyes dim, but she hides her emotions as she forces herself to smile.

“Kane, no morning for me?” she asks.

I dip my head and press my lips to her cheek. Her skin warms below my lips. This shy version of her is just mine. There are three specific words sitting on the tip of my tongue, and I keep my lips against her skin to force them back.

As with everything, Delilah has some divinity that allows her to know my thoughts. She nuzzles closer, forcing me to move my head back. Once she’s settled on my chest, she kisses directly over my heart and looks up at me with bright eyes. Her voice is low and weighted, but the emotion in her eyes sets a fire in my chest.

“I know it’s wrong, but I love you. Kane, I love you more than myself and sometimes it scares the shit out of me because I don’t know who I’d be if I ever lost you.”

Brushing her hair out of her face, I lean down and whisper, “You’ll never lose me. I’ve been in love with you ever sinceyou asked me if I was your prince. I didn’t even know what it meant, but I knew what I wanted to be when I was older.”

“And what was that?”

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