Page 19 of Deviant Illusions

I slowly place my new, thin hands on the cold floor in front of me and lower my head to find him as I weakly plead, “I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me alone.”

He doesn’t squeak.

“Asher?” I tilt my head, searching for him. “I’m sorry.”

8

KANE

There’s a bruise blooming on the back of Delilah’s hand from the injection site that I trace with the tip of my gloved finger as I lower to my knees beside her bed. She smells clean, like apples and vanilla, as I lean forward and gently press my lips to her cheek.

“Do you care?” I ask her unconscious body. “Did you ever care about me, or was I just a game? Something to use to piss Asher off when you had an argument?”

Why the fuck do I still care? About her or her fucking opinion?

It’s clear I never meant shit to her, and I don’t need her to confirm or deny it. But I remain kneeling, nearly fucking prostrating to her as though she’s my savior. In a way, Delilah is my creator. She’s turned me into this shell, sucked out my marrow and left me weak. But she didn’t build me—she destroyed me. It’s not my responsibility to fix a relationship I didn’t break. It’s my honor to ruin her, dirty her, and force her to face her sins.

She can be my creator, and I’ll be her judgment.

I can’t sleep beside anyone or stand the thought of anyone’s touch, but my body yearns for her warmth. So I slowly lay beside her. I rest my cheek on her shoulder as she remains on her back. My eyes instantly close. In this moment, there’s nothing else. The years of pain aren’t on a constant replay, and I become weightless.

There’s no risk of her moving, or touching me, so I tighten my arms around her. It’s peaceful. I softly kiss her collarbone as I whisper, “I miss talking to you, or anyone. Sometimes I still think I’m locked in that room, waiting for them to come back. It was always ninety days apart. The worst part was that I looked forward to it. I wanted them to be there, just for a brief period of time, so I wasn’t alone anymore. But the pain wasn’t worth it when they were done. Not when it took pieces of me away. Neither was the embarrassment.”

The humiliation of everyone looking at me just added to the pain. Everyone fucking knowing and whispering while I struggled to walk. Having to wear diapers when I was barely twenty years old. That’s what my mind latches on to. Not the invasion. No, that’s been fragmented. But the stares, the discomfort of the padding and not being able to sit, that stays. Undisturbed. A clear memory that even in my worst moment, there was nothing I could do. Weak, pathetic, powerless.

“I like it when you touch me,” I admit, and hug her closer. “It makes me forget all the others for a little while. You’re both my curse and my cure, the cause and the remedy.”

My face is fully hidden in the side of her neck, but my skin heats as my admissions become deeper, more humiliating. “I can come with you. I can’t even do that alone, but with you, it’s easy. It’s a need. I can’t stop myself. Only when I’m with you.”

Her pulse increases slightly, the thrum faster against my lips. I’m hard at the thought of her heart beating. What kind offucking hold has she got on me that just knowing she’s alive, that her organs are functioning, has my dick hard?

I’ll be able to think clearly once I’ve got it out of my system.

I press my lips to her neck and take out the strap of leather and platinum from my pocket. Lifting up, I straddle her waist and hold the back of her head off the pillow. Delilah’s lashes don’t flutter as I loosely tie the gag around her face. Laying her head back on the pillow, I gently pry her lips apart and push the tongue depressor past her teeth. The platinum ring holds her jaw open, and the O-shaped ring is perfectly fitted between her teeth. It softly clinks as I tighten the leather strap, stretching her lips around the spider gag.

I sit up on my knees as I slowly lower my zipper and wait to see if the little slut will open her eyes. I’ve given her a high enough dosage to stay asleep, and I hate myself for wanting those magnetic eyes on me. I curl my fingers over the top of her headboard and groan at the feeling of her stretched lips as I trace them with the tip of my dick. My precum marks a shiny path across her pink lips, and I hope she licks them when she wakes up.

The cool platinum massages the sides of my length as I slowly push through the ring. The tip of my dick rests on her tongue, and I spit down into my palm before wrapping my fingers around my shaft. I slowly rock forward, fucking both my fist and her mouth. She’s not able to hollow her cheeks or choke herself, so I help her and go deeper. It’s not deep enough to wake her, just enough to feel her tongue and warmth surround me.

Creaking fills the air as I speed up and my knuckles knock against the plaster. The sheet slips down, exposing the thin silk and lace covering her chest. My knees bracket her ribs and push her tits closer together. Her hard nipples poke through the silky material and I groan, “Fuck. Me. I want to put barbells through them. Keep you leashed and watch how you beg.”

I speed up, the springs creaking and her tits bouncing from the force, as I ask, “You’d love it, wouldn’t you, koukla mou?”

She’d be fucking beautiful covered in cum and red patches with a chain on her nipples. The image is projected on her prone body, and my knuckles push against the gloves. The black latex stretches and allows a muted glimpse at the ink on my hands.

But I fuck her face harder.

Faster.

I want to taste her. To fall asleep between her thighs and wake up in the same position to get a taste of the only part of Delilah that is sweet. My mouth literally fucking waters at the memory of her and knowing I’ll be able to take my time again. That she won’t be pushing me away or lying to me as I push my tongue inside her.

My hand speeds up, and I push deeper into her mouth. A small, involuntary gag vibrates against the tip of my dick. It’s like she’s flipped a switch, and I tense, trying to claw my release back. It’s no use when she gags again, and I squeeze my dick at the base as her tongue attempts to escape the depressor. It softly massages the underside of my dick, and I slowly pull out to watch every drop of my cum collect in her mouth.

Delilah’s tongue continues twitching with the urge to swallow, but I don’t remove the gag. I gently turn her head to the side so my cum remains on her tongue. Drool slowly slips over the corner of her lips, bringing little drops of my cum with it, but I’ll allow her that small waste since it’s soaking into her pillow.

A small groan travels through her gaping mouth as I tuck my dick away. Even unconscious, she’s obsessed with dick. I should slap her cheek with it and cover her beautiful face in cum, but there are more pressing matters. Specifically, tasting her sweet cunt after going so long without.

I move down her body and slowly pull the sheet down to fully unveil her as I kneel between her thighs. The champagne silk is bunched at her hips, and I tut. “No panties, koukla mou?”

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