Page 101 of Deviant Illusions

No, it’s another lie. Scarlet is more forceful than Ruby. She wouldn’t leave me alone. She’s the one our parents were the most afraid of because she’s the strongest.

But Kane ruined any chance I will ever have of having my sister back as he asks, “Do you remember your letters? The ones you used to write to them for when you see them again?”

That’s not a lie. I remember doing it. I’d pour out every secret emotion into them. Even when the bitterness took over.

“Dear Scarlet, I hate you,” he repeats from memory. “You’re a bitch for leaving when it’s not even that bad. Mom and Dad can be annoying and overbearing, but you leaving has hurt them. Just come back and talk to them. Talk to me. Actually, why am I begging you? You might as well be dead to me, but it’s not like when Ruby left. I missed her. I wanted her to come back. Now I feel nothing for you. One day when I’m older, someone is going to tell me that you’re dead, and I’ll tell them that you died the day you left me.”

I don’t punch him this time. I dig my fingers into the wounds on his back as I fight tears. “I hate you so much. I wish I never fucking met you.”

“Good,” he nods, smiling. “Hold on to it. Hate keeps you alive when there’s nothing else. Even when your mind fractures and you start seeing shit that isn’t there.”

“I never loved you.”

That gets the smile to leave, and he grabs my throat, gritting, “Don’t fucking lie.”

“I didn’t. I was a game to you. Well, guess what, asshole?” I laugh without any joy, pushing my neck harder against his palm. “You were one first. Every time you fucked me, I pretended you were Asher. But you could never fuck me like he did.”

His fingers flex on the sides of my neck before I’m abruptly lifted and he slams his lips over mine. His teeth come out when I remain still, other than my fingers causing damage on his back, and he bites my lip. Hard.

“Don’t. Fucking. Lie.”

“I’m not,” I say, breathless, like a liar. “Physically you were identical, but he was special. That’s why I had to tell you what to do, so I could imagine it washim.I did it to hurt him because what’s worse than knowing I fucked someone else?” I sound stronger even though the pain on his face hurts as I answer my own question. “Asher knowing that his reflection finally got to have the one thing he refused you becausehewas the one who had control of me. Congratulations, Not-Asher, you’re a game, just like I was.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Kane snaps, his muscles rigid.

“Hurts, doesn’t it? It tears at your insides to know the innocent thing you had means nothing. That you are nothing.”

And because he’s weak, a man that can only throw his weight around when it comes to one act, he pushes my hoodie up and cups between my thighs, asking, “If you don’t love me, why are you soaked?”

“Because I’m a whore.” I shrug, adding extra lightness to my voice. “Remember?”

“No, because you are fucking mine.” He pulls his sweats down and slaps his dick against my clit. “Tell me you loved me.”

“Tell me you walked on the moon,” I counter.

“Fucking stop.”

I smile. It’s genuine and I like this feeling. I like it more than being helpless or at his whims, and I love seeing him turn wild as he searches my eyes, his breathing erratic. Even more, I love it when he turns pathetic, begging, “Take it back and tell me it was real, please, my pretty girl.”

“I will never say it until you can take back everything you did to me. Can you do that? Can you undo putting my head inside a dead fucking body? Or take away the feeling of worms and a rat against my skin?”

He shuts up.

I tilt my head, making sure that he can see my hate. “Can you undo making me think that I was crazy? Or taking the torturous memories away, only to prove that the ones I’d forgotten were worse? What about hanging me, trying to fucking kill me, chaining me up when you knew you were going to set the room alight?” He audibly gulps as he avoids my eyes and I snort. “Thought so.”

But then he looks between our bodies and I can’t see what he does with the shadow of his arm blocking everything. I can feel it though. He strokes the tip of his dick through my slit, slowly lining up as he begs, “Tell me you want this.”

“No.”

His head snaps up. “I’ll stop.”

I soften my fingers against his back and wipe his blood on his skin. “You won’t, because you need to feel powerful and I’m the only one who ever allowed you to feel like that.”

Rather than relax at the fact I’m not causing him pain, he leans back, searching for it.

“That control you feel right now belongs to me.” I smile. “Not you. I will never belong to you because I’m not yours, but you have always been mine. It’s why you never looked at anyone else when we only had moments in the shadows. Because from the second you knew what you wanted, I have been the first fucking thing on that list. So do it. Kill me, hurt me, but it won’t stop my name echoing in your mind. You will never replace me and I will never fucking stop haunting you.”

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