Page 35 of Devious Delusions

Lie. My mind screams back at me.

Something warm wraps around me and my movements are delayed as a scream gets trapped in my throat. It stays there when Asher softly says, “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.”

He wraps around me, his knees copying mine with his chest against my back and his arms crossed over my calves. My hold is nothing in comparison to how tightly he holds me as he rests his chin on the top of my head. It doesn’t stop my thought, but he provides company and attempts to distract me.

“I won’t be going away for work anymore, so we can do whatever you want.”

Translation: he doesn’t trust me to be alone and he’s going to change everything about his life to make sure I’m not left with my crazy anymore.

16

DELILAH

Ihave no idea how to be a wife. Add in my obvious mental issues and I’m destined to fail. It doesn’t help that Asher has been busy all day and I lurk at the edge of the kitchen watching his office door for any movement.

The clock ticks as it approaches the new hour. So far, he’s only poked his head out of the door to make sure I’m taking my medication and I watch the sleek matte door for him to do it again. The smell of garlic hasn’t enticed him out, but as soon as it hits 7 pm, the door cracks open.

His hair is messy like he’s been running his fingers through it, and his shoulders are tense before he even sees me. I smile to hide how uncomfortably tight my throat is and hold the two pills in my palm as I coax him out.

“I’m supposed to have these before eating. Do you want to eat with me?”

Can he see my guilt?

Even if it was only a thought and the masked freak isn’t real, I shouldn’t be having those thoughts. I shouldn’t be excited about the prospect of cheating on my husband because that’s what it is—cheating. Betrayal. Disloyalty.

But he steps out of his office and closes the door behind him. I catch a glimpse of all the monitors set up and quickly turn when realization dawns on me. He’s watching the security cameras. If it’s real, he’ll see.

“Did you order in?” he asks, closer than I anticipated, making my shoulders stiffen.

I turn and try to smile, again, as I force my tone to be light. “I made it. Wouldn’t you have seen a delivery on the cameras?”

The corner of his lips twitch and he attempts to hide it as he scratches the side of his jaw. It only brings attention to the movement and some of the tension leaves his shoulders. But his eyes are darker, harsher, and weighted.

Was it real?

No.

If it was, he would go crazy like he should. I wouldn’t have woken up dressed and there would be a pillow cut open on the bed. A feather or a string, anything to show that my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me.

He softly kisses my cheek and lifts my hand, silently reminding me about the pills. Everything inside of me settles at the gesture, and I swallow them dry, ignoring the way the smoothed edges scrape against my throat. Asher wraps his arms around me and gently sways from side to side.

I wrap my arms around his waist and close my eyes as I rest my cheek on his chest. His heart thrums against my ear, nearly drowning out his whisper over the top of my head.

“One day, Lilo, one day it will all be clearer.”

Tears burn the back of my eyes and I grab his t-shirt in my fists as I pull him closer. My voice is weak and unlike myself, or who I think I am, as I apologize.

“I’m sorry…”

I trail off, unsure of what I’m apologizing for. There are too many things from childhood to now and all the years I’veforgotten. But he keeps swaying and strokes down my back, giving me an out I haven’t asked for.

“It’s okay, baby, just stay with me a little longer.”

I nod and take in a shaky breath as he wrecks me further.

“You know I fall in love with you every day?” he whispers while I fight my tears. “It doesn’t matter which Delilah I get, I have always loved you and if I need to battle through your worst to have this, right here, then it’s worth it.”

My arms tighten around him, and everything burns.

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