Page 97 of Volatile

I gently push my hand under the material she’s hiding in and flatten my palm on her stomach as I pull her to my chest. There’s a wet patch on the pillow, the spot is darker with the moon light filtering through the windows, highlighting that my beautiful woman who refuses to show emotion is drowning.

Keeping my voice low, I rest my lips on her crown as I ask, “Are you in pain, sweetness?”

She lies by shaking her head and sniffles. My heart breaks at two sorrowful words leaving her lips.

“I’m sorry.”

She has fuck all to apologize for. It’s my job to protect her, in every fucking way. I was the one who failed, who couldn’t move because I needed the pills to function.

I soften my voice, needing to get out of this fucking place.

“Come somewhere with me?”

Maybe we can meet again, redo shit and kill parts of us we hate to be better, but she’s a different person, vulnerable and small as she whispers, “The guards will talk shit about you being with me and I don’t want to put on a stupid outfit right now.”

I won’t allow anyone to say a word against her and hold her tighter. “You are mine, wear whatever you want and let me deal with any fucker who says shit.” Dani said she hasn’t eaten, not even the leaves Stasi usually prefers, and I’m not letting my woman waste away. “I can put a bag over your head if it helps.”

The joke falls flat, there’s not my usual playfulness attached but she softens and breathes easier. My lips find her neck and I move across every inch of her skin I can reach as I beg her, “Stas, don’t hide from me. Please, malysh.”

She openly sobs as I finish begging. Fuck, it’s enough to ruin me when she refuses to show anyone her emotions. I turn her to face me and wrap my arms around her while she breaks. Her face is pressed to my chest, and she pushes her arms up to wrap them around me, holding me with the same fervor.

I kiss the top of her head as though it can do anything to help her, and she looks up with tears still in her eyes. It’s not the time but I can’t stop myself as I cup her salty cheek and pull the sheets over our heads.

“You’re beautiful, and strong. So fucking intelligent, and we both know you don’t need anyone, but let me be here. Please?”

She nods once and we escape the shit in the world as we remain cocooned in each other. There’s no shutting me out, she doesn’t hide, and she shifts her body up, so we’re nose to nose. There’s barely any light, but everything is clear with her dark eyes on me and I need her voice to pull me away from the lifeless images.

“Tell me something real, sweetness.”

Cool metal touches my skin as she cups my cheek and whispers, “I still have your ring.” Her voice lowers further as she asks, “Will you sit in the loneliness with me, luchik?”

I don’t have to think about my answer and my lips brush hers with every syllable. “Always, Anastasia.”

Using the back of my fingers, I gently wipe her tears away and they fall faster than I can get rid of them.

“You know I’ve never stopped thinking about you,” I whisper with my heart breaking. “Not since I first saw you and that night, I felt like shit because Len was visiting. Dima caught me sneaking out of the window and he thought I was going to Dani’s so he kept the guards busy, but I wanted to be alone.”

“Sorry for disturbing your alone time,” she sniffles as her breath stutters around her restrained sobs.

“You’ve never disturbed me and I was watching you for a while. I didn’t know what you were doing at first. Dani made me watch some shitty girly movie and one of the scenes had a woman stand on the bow of a ship, I thought you were re-enacting that. But then you kept kicking stones off the edge and I didn’t want you to go because I didn’t feel lonely while I was watching you.”

I couldn’t even see her face, or know that she was her until she spoke, but she intrigued me even when I didn’t know she was mine. Cupping her cheek, I lean closer and softly kiss her, silently begging that she will never leave me or ever stand on that edge again because she wasn’t crying then and she is now. If dying didn’t bring tears to her eyes, I have no fucking idea what she’ll do with them at present.

I tightenmy hand around my girl’s as I drive to the bridge where I first met her. It’s not conventional and it is definitely totally fucked up considering why she was on it. But it’s ours since I’ve spent years coming back to it and waiting for her to show up.

She hasn’t changed out of her sweats and the hood is pulled over her head. A small smile graces her lips when I pull over and she settles back into the seat, rolling her head to look at me.

“Finally decided to push me?” she teases but there’s a wish in her eyes. She still chases that escape, and my heart seizes.

I could never force my hand to hurt her.

Pushing my seat back, I try to lift her and the stubborn shit refuses. “I don’t want to hurt your knee.”

She weighs nothing for fuck’s sake, and I have two fucking legs. She can take her pick on which one to sit her ass on. Ignoring her protest, I get her on my thigh and press my lips to her cheek. My arms tighten around her instinctually as we watch the navy sky and there’s nothing other than conviction in my voice as I say, “If you went over all of those years ago, I would have followed you. That hasn’t changed now.”

Especially now I know her, she’s embedded herself into my soul.

I crack the window so we can hear the water and not feel suffocated with the emotions filling the car. She leans against my chest and traces my jawline, I’ve never heard sadness as haunting as she whispers, “I keep crying when I shouldn’t, you’re the one who lost what you wanted.”

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