Page 89 of Volatile

Val proves my point as he stops trying to move around Vlad. He stares at me with open hate, and the arm pressed against his chest doesn’t stop it reaching me.

“You’re a pathetic, weak cunt,” he snarls. “Fucking useless prick, Len was right about you.”

The temperature turns arctic as both Vlad and Dima stare at him, but I spit out his biggest fear, “And you’re Anika’s favorite little boy. Just like her, you’re a bitter, twisted cunt.”

There’s less weight holding me in place, and I’m stopped from beating the fuck out of him as Vlad grabs his face. His inked fingers dig into the dickhead’s cheeks, and he forcefully turns Valentin’s face to look away from me as he snaps, “Learn when to shut the fuck up. Go. Now.”

He pushes him back and for a split second there’s remorse on Val’s features. It’s not deep enough to allow him to voice it, but it makes him walk away while I shout at his back, “Who’s weak now, you little bitch?”

Pushing Dima off me, I take the stairs and grit my teeth as the pain radiates through my entire limb with each step. It gets deeper, more potent, as I reach my floor to see the bedroom door closed. Guilt isn’t something I’ve ever experienced before. Now, it swarms me, clouds my vision, and robs me of energy. The intensity of it is felt in my bones when I act like a coward pausing at the threshold. I can’t hear Stasi packing, it’s still and everything has paused.

I used to think the hardest thing I’d do in my life would be avoiding my parents when I was a child, but I would do that for eternity over seeing my girl shut down. My fingers shake as I open the door to see her laid in bed facing the wall. Despite being unable to see her face I know she’s awake, the air is weighted with all of her thoughts and I gently lower to sit beside her.

She doesn’t argue as I kick my shoes off, or when I fit myself at her back and pull the sheets up over our heads. I hold her and avoid touching her stomach so she’s not uncomfortable. I don’t know how long I lay there listening to her trembling breaths when she blindly turns and wraps her arm around me. The only words I have are ones that are unfamiliar to me, yet they’re easy to say with the guilt forcing them out.

“I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t even pick her up, I made her fucking walk while having a miscarriage because my knee is fucked. I couldn’t stop them hurting her, and a fucked-up part of me is pissed that it wasn’t internal bleeding like I initially thought. She would heal from that; she’d be angry, and I’d kill everyone in apology, but there’s no one I can kill to stop her shutting down. All because I’m weak and, even now, I can’t do shit with the pain coming back and fucking with my head.

Her eyes close as I kiss her crown. For a moment, I think she’ll let me in but her arm loosens before she pushes me away and rips the cover off us. No words, or cursing, she just turns and goes back to staring at the wall.

Everything I wanted was there less than twenty-four hours ago, I had my girl, and she had our baby. Now, I can’t even fucking walk without a twinge going up my thigh as I go to the closet so I can feel like myself again. The safe is already open a crack when I step inside, but none of Stasi’s things have been touched. It’s not open enough for me to see into it fully, and whoever did it is playing a sick game with my lifelines. I pull the door open with too much force as all the emotions band together to form anger. The proof of the fuckers going through my things sits in an empty safe with a note like I’m a kid getting their fucking homework back.

Office.

Fucking prick. I’ve gone through their shit, but I had the decency not to fucking tell them and I always make sure that everything gets put back in the same place. Maybe they’ll beat the shit out of me. The threat was there when I last got caught taking drugs. It’ll stop the ache in my bones, and I couldn’t focus on anything else when Val had his little tantrum, so it will serve a purpose. It will give my mind something else to focus on.

My stomach rolls with the urge to be sick as I go to find my pills. They’re prescription drugs for fuck’s sake, not anything nefarious. Even if I didn’t get them by legal means and Alia modified them so they were stronger, they’re still only pain meds.

My body begs me to stop and sweat coats my skin. There’s no exertion with taking the elevator but every tiny movement is magnified.The descent doesn’t help with the nausea swarming me and my T-shirt sticks to my back.

The fuckers aren’t in the office, and I follow the sounds of their accusations as Val opens his stupid fucking mouth.

“Think he’s selling them or taking them?”

Dumb cunt. He’ll be the easiest to piss off, but his method of pain is mental, like our mother.

He continues speaking as Vlad’s ice clinks in his tumbler. “I bet that’s why he let them fuckers take him. He was probably high as fuck, the Kadares wouldn’t get the jump on him otherwise.”

Stupid prick.

My leg tries to give way and I grit my teeth to stop from telling the cunt it was because of this fucking family they grabbed me. This is the second time I’ve had to pay for their shit, but now they involved my girl and she’s fucking breaking.

Words leave me more harshly than I’ve ever spoken before as I stop at the threshold of the living room.

“Give me them.”

I manage to walk a few more steps to hold on to the back of the sofa so I can take some of the weight off my knee and stare between my dickhead family.

Vlad stands with his back to the bar, his daughter at his side, as Val takes up his other side. They stare at me like I’ve got three heads, apart from Vanya, she’s filled with remorse. Or the closest thing to it that she can feel in her fucked-up head.

I need the pain inside of me to leave and push their buttons.

“Who the fuck went through my shit? Do you see me doing that to you fuckers, and your fucked-up lives?”

Val moves forward, only making it half a step before Vlad holds his arm out, stopping him from moving any further.

“Let him spit his dummy out and get it out of his system.”

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