Page 74 of Volatile

That’s a relationship and we strictly fuck. Even if we’ve actually been talking to each other and spending more time with our clothes on than off recently. Relationships have expectations and an expiry date. Casual encounters don’t.

He takes a deep breath and looks over my shoulder without letting me go as he mumbles, “How is someone so clever and dumb at the same time?”

The insult loosens my hands, and I push against his chest. His arms tighten around me, and he turns us so I’m against the door.Everything other than him evaporates as he darkens and grabs my wrists, pinning them above my head as he asks, “So, you heard that but not anything else I’ve said?”

Sarcastic prick. He always just says shit without any meaning; the first time we slept together he fell back into the sheets and declared we have to get married. I can’t take him seriously when he doesn’t even do it himself. We work because I’m cold, and he’s hot. Not warmth that anyone can handle, we’re the opposite of each other but it would never last. I’d cool him down or he would shatter me.

I soften my voice in the hope it helps him live in reality. “We’re good together physically, don’t confuse things.”

He takes a controlled breath that does nothing to help his mood. The puppy isn’t staring back at me, it’s the man who’s fed up with my shit.

“If I went out there and fucked someone else, how would you feel, Asya?”

His game is stupid as fuck, I’ve never been a priority so I can’t experience jealousy. You can’t be envious of something you know is never going to be yours.He’s proving me right without meaning to and I point out what he’s forgetting.

“You didn’t care about Zidane.”

He steps closer into the nonexistent space between our bodies, his fingers tightening around my wrists, and his voice drops to a deadly tone. “That was an addition, not a removal.Wecan fuck whoeverwewant.”

He’s talking as though we’ve melded ourselves together to become one, not two separate people existing within the same space. I hate the words leaving me and I want to take them back as soon as they’re out.

“You can do whatever you want, it won’t bother me.”

Vitali rocks back and I bite my cheek to stop myself from voicing I’m a liar. As a hypothetical it was fine, I could deal with it and put it in a box labelled ‘not true’, but now I’ve set the challenge, and he won’t back down. He takes a step back and my hands slowly drop to my sides, my face threatens to do the same as he gestures for me to walk out. My body stalls, knowing as soon as the door opens, he’s going to make me eat my words and I’ll be fixating on where he is.

Fuck it. I can do it. My mother or Marta didn’t cause this. It’s the consequences of my own mouth and I’m an adult, it won’t be the first time or the last that I have proof that I’m nothing or that I have to walk away from something that actually makes me happy.

I pull the door open with my shoulders straight and my chin up. My steps are steady, not betraying my emotion as I walk away leaving everything in that cramped storage room. I keep walking past the private room and my legs don’t stop until I’m outside the casino. The guards are standing by the car, and I get in, not saying anything as I pull the stupid mask off my face.

My thoughts are louder than anything else, every part of my mind working through the images of people we passed and trying to figure out which one Vitali will choose. At least I won’t have to witness it and I’ll stay in the city. I haven’t slept alone since his sunrise picnic and lead drops in my chest at the thought of not having his body heat wrapped around me.

The car rolls to a stop, dragging me out of my cyclone thoughts and I could fucking laugh. I’m not even at home, all my things are beside Vitali’s, staged just like the rest of my life, projecting an image that isn’t fucking real. The guard smirks to himself and his muttered comment is a reminder of who I am as he looks at me through the rear-view mirror.

“I’m sure the kids are asleep now.”

I send Inessa a message that I’ve left so she doesn’t hear the rumors and kill me as I get out of the car and leave the door open. The dickhead can close it himself since he’s got nothing better to do.

I would never touch Vlad, but it doesn’t stop the muttering as I walk up the steps and let myself into their house. There are no sounds of children travelling through the house; it’s eerie with how alive the space usually is. Vlad has probably locked them in a cupboard or set them on their psychotic training.

Viktor pokes his head out of the kitchen and stares behind me as he asks, “Is Tali with you?”

There’s no one following me, but I still check and confirm the status of my life. “It’s just me. Do you need help with something?”

I’m forcing a child to spend time with me because that’s not pathetic at all.He shrugs and gestures towards the kitchen for me to follow. If he’s killed someone I’ll have to interact with his dumbass uncle. I check the floor for blood or a body and there’s no mark on it, but sugar hits my senses. Viktor is far more mature than his years and I smile, seeing him with a comically oversized oven mitt.

“Pass me it, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

I quickly take it from him and remove his warmed cookie dough. He stays at my side as I set it down on the island beside his plate.I don’t want to stare at his eye and stand on the opposite side while he pulls out his toppings. I’ve seen him grow up in little spurts when passing information to Vlad and it’s weird to watch him be a mini adult. He turns to me with a smile and holds up the choices of ice cream.

“I didn’t want him to steal my food. Do you want chocolate chip or vanilla?”

There’s only one right answer and I’m not going to deny myself of anything more after my shit night.I don’t feel the need to avoid conversation and relax as I grab my option out of his hand.

“Chocolate chip, vanilla is made from beaver’s ass.”

His brows go up and he puts the other tub back, declaring, “That can be Tali’s then.”

I remain standing on the opposite side of the island while Viktor takes his seat, leaving me with my portion. He always argues about Vitali stealing his food, but he’s made two servings, and he keeps watching the door.We’re both alike in that sense that we push him away and then wait for him to come back.

---