Page 17 of Volatile

“Why? You come on mine, that’s not very fair of you.”

“Okay, I won’t do it again.” I shrug and lean my cheek on his hairline to make sure he can’t see the message thread of the chatroom I enter.

His arms tighten around me and he lightly nips my neck with his teeth as he groans, “What the fuck? I didn’t tell you to stop.”

I’m getting distracted and I’m beginning to like being in this room. It’s wrong and it’s because of Vitali. He has this effect on everyone where he can make them fall in love with life but I can’t allow myself to when I still have days, weeks, months where I fall into the mental pit I was in at fourteen and the edge is enticing. So, I stop it, I refuse to be a witness to his carefree joy, and I stop fucking hugging his head like I have any right to him.

“You’ve overstayed your need, Vartanov,” I say coldly, hating every single fucking letter that I use to push him away.

He freezes, as always when I’m forced to be a bitch, and his jaw pulses against my shoulder.

“One day you’re going to let someone in, Stasi, I hope it’s me you choose.” He takes a deep breath then softly kisses my neck. “But today isn’t that day.”

I don’t move or look at him as he unwraps his arms from my waist and stands. His back is tense, so are his thighs, as he walks out of my desolate office and quietly leaves.

There’s something wrong with me because I stare at the wall waiting for him to come back. I know this is better; chosen loneliness is something I have control of, but I still watch the fucking wall.

FIVE

Vitali

Ihave theories about life. One of them won’t leave as I keep going over the details Stasi gave me — everyone on Earth is inherently selfish. That’s why she’s putting herself in danger, so she feels better about who she is by convincing herself she’s making a difference when the infuriating woman doesn’t realize that she’s going to be adding her name to the long list of people the cunts have managed to defile.She’s selfishly thinking about herself and disregarding me because the thought of anyone hurting a hair on her stubborn little head has me doing breathing exercises.

Pushing all those thoughts away, I focus on acting like a dickhead to brighten my mood since she turned cold on me and kicked me out. Dima is entering the house at the same time as me, so I hook my arm around his shoulders and present him with my cheek. “Kiss for your uncle, nephew?”

It’s too easy getting under his skin and he grumbles as he pushes me away. He’s an old fuck but his argument is bullshit when he’s married to my niece, so I get to pull the relation card as much as I want despite him semi raising me.

My mind is like a windmill, there are four blades and two and half of them are solely occupied by Stasi. I jump over the back of the sofa, making the cushions bounce as Viktor does his homework. He’s a little shit since he’s become a teenager, but I catch the smile before he can hide it. It drops as he abruptly turns his head to the side and mumbles, “Oh shit.”

I follow his line of sight and I’m sure he has bionic hearing because the little babbling and giggling is barely audible. It’s followed by the sound of punching as the giggles get louder and I gesture towards the stairs leading to my floor as I whisper, “Go quickly before they see you.”

He collects his books together and takes off running before the new psychos of the family can annoy him. There’s no click of Inessa’s heels but I’d recognize the slap of Dani’s sneakers anywhere with the soft little clack of clay that’s stuck on the bottom of them. But I smile at the sound of my best friend being a grown up when she used to let me throw chocolates in her mouth when I was bored.

“Dominik, sweetheart, it’s not nice to hit people, is it?”

Even Dima finds amusement in her telling off and the grumpy bastard smiles wider when he sees his son. I watch them all being adults, even though Vlad pushes his son-in-law out of the way. He drops down to his haunches and lifts Vasy and Adrik in each arm. It’s weird as fuck that he’s a grandfather and I can’t wait to teach Adrik to call Inessa babushka, she’s going to lose her shit.

The demon spawn’s eyes light up when he sees me. Vasy smiles like a little freak. He looks like one of those murderous dolls out of the horror movies I watch. His outfit isn’t helping matters and I stare at his legs that are covered in orange fluffy shit.

“What the fuck is he wearing?” I ask.

Vlad blows out a breath, shakes his head, and sighs, “Inessa dressed him, don’t fucking ask.”

The little shit kicks his leg out as he shouts, “Want look?”

“No, you can stay with your dad. Kick the shit out of him for once.”

Adrik is unnerving, whether that’s on account of his mother or father is still to be determined but I think he has more of Vanya’s personality traits. He watches everyone and they have their own language even though they’ve outgrown baby talk. I can’t decipher what it means as Dom babbles some shit and the other two in the trio giggle. They’re clearly planning something.

“Touch me and I’ll tell your mama.” I point my finger at him before he can attack me.

He looks up, smiling dopily at Dani who is a fucking mug and believes it. I already knew she was an idiot for choosing to be with someone like Val but she cements the belief as she acts like her son is innocent, and lowers to kiss the top of his head. He’s exactly like Val, a conniving little asshole, and he hugs her then kisses her cheek.

“Tali loves?” he asks and I’m going to push him over if he comes near me.

Ever since the trio have been able to crawl, they’ve had a vendetta against me. The little shits will run at my legs and start punching me. The day they turn eighteen, I’m laying them on their asses.

But Dani forgets that she was mine first as she melts and lifts him onto her hip. I can’t escape with imminent danger being carried towards me and she leans her brat forward. Dominik tilts his chin so it’s touching his chest and smiles full of fucking threat as he wraps his arms around my neck.