Page 110 of Volatile

If I thought there was even the slimmest chance that my girl would willingly speak to a therapist I’d take her myself without needing Inessa’s help. Stasi’s demons are different than Kristi’s and they’re not as destructive because she’s made her own version of therapy that kills everyone around her.

“Someone else. She’s a kid and aren’t you trying to be the patron saint of all the young souls?”

Her lips twitch and I’m so close to breaking through to the ice queen but she quickly erects thicker walls and takes a step back, dismissing me. “I’m not helpingyou, but I’ll arrange for one of the doctors to be at Steorra to meet her tomorrow.”

Viktor and Kristi walk Thunder out to the paddock, and I panic in my attempt to sort shit out with my family.

“Inessa, are you going to hate me forever?”

She doesn’t leave. That’s got to be a win.

Until she looks me up and down like I’m a piece of a shit and coolly says, “I don’t hate you, I’m disgusted by you.” She steps closer to me, shorter than me yet somehow managing to look down at me as she seethes, “Vlad has given you everything you ever wanted. He sacrificed himself, his happiness, for this family and you crossed the fucking line.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. Everyone thinks he’s some emotionless dickhead, and to a certain extent they’re right, but you used two things against him that you never should have. He would never do that to you.”

“I know,” I repeat more forcefully. “I didn’t think an?—”

“Exactly,” she spits. “You didn’t think about what would have happened to you if he wasn’t there. Do you think that your parents just suddenly changed their sick ways? No, you had someone to protect you when he had no one to do it for him. So, I will never be anything other than disgusted by what you said. Vlad can choose to forgive you, but I don’t have to do shit.”

I stare at a point on the wall to prevent my chin dropping to my chest like it wants to as she keeps going.

“My kids love you, I loved you, and I won’t stop them speaking to you but there will always be a thought in the back of my head about whether they’ll be safe from your outbursts.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Stasi snaps as she storms into the stables. “You’re speaking to him like he’s a child and like you’ve never made a mistake in your life.”

“It’s fine,” I ease her but she stands toe to toe with Inessa and ignores me in favor of defending me.

“No, it’s not. She’s talking shit when she once kicked Dariya in the face because she was trying to do a cartwheel and fucked up.”

“That’s not the same,” Inessa rears back. “I was a kid and I didn’t think she would try to catch me.”

“Okay, what about when you stole your grandfather’s gun so that we’d have a starting pistol for our race and you ended up shooting one of the guards?”

“I was a kid.”

“Yeah, and you killed someone who was doing their job because of a foot race and you can’t aim for shit. Did anyone hold it against you? Did Mischa or I stop playing with you because it was a fucking psychotic thing to do? No, we didn’t.”

“It’s very different, Stasya,” Inessa grits then turns, walking out of the stable.

I pull my girl into my chest with one arm around her lower back and tip her chin up. “You argued with someone because of me?”

My voice is low, filled with awe because I knew she loved me. She has to otherwise she wouldn’t have given a shit and she would do what she always does, ignore everything around her. Be passive and allow everyone to get on with their lives. But Stasi arguedfor me.

She doesn’t answer me though and I ask, “Are you going to hide in your cave now?”

“Until I find them,” she promises. “I just wanted to check on Kristi and Val got you donuts.”

“Okay, we’ll all be waiting for you when you’re ready.”

FORTY

Vitali

three weeks later

I’m smiling ear to ear at a graveside and my dick is in my hand while I water the fresh earth of Borya’s resting place. It might be hyperbole to other people, but I do the same to my father’s unmarked spot and it feels right to piss on Stasi’s demons too. My phone buzzes, cutting my toilet break short as Dima’s one-word message comes through to say it’s time for me to have my girl back.

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