Page 140 of Voracious

He’s still smiling, someone should tell him it makes him look weird, but I’m distracted as he says, “It’s yours, from your first haircut.”

He definitely should have thrown it away and I put it on the desk because it’s nasty to keep hair for that long.

There’s genuine curiosity in my question as I ask, “Were you going to clone me?”

Vlad shakes his head and gently closes the tab of the envelope and places it beside the dress.

“No, no one could ever replace you.”

The slow soft voice and his behavior is making it harder to be around him. I’d prefer him to kick me in the ankle again, this is just uncomfortable, so I stand and take a step away but his face falls.

I point at the door, dumbly. “I’m leaving, you’re really weird and it’s freaking me out.”

He nods once with that smile still on his face as I walk backwards. I quickly turn and pause at the door, speaking to the wood because he’s not being an asshole which is making it all strange and harder to navigate.

“Vlad?”

“Yeah?” he says softly, too softly.

“I think you were a good dad, but I don’t need one now.”

“I know, solnyshkuh.”

“I still don’t like you.”

“I know,” he whispers.

“I might never like you.”

“I know,” he says even lower.

“If you hurt Dima, I’ll kill you.”

“I know.”

“Okay, bye.”

I press down on the door handle, ready to escape and forget the encounter, but he stops me as he whispers, with emotion weighing down each word, “I love you.”

Without turning, I continue speaking to the door because it’s easier as I weakly nod, “I know.”

I think he does in his incredibly messed up way of collecting hair, but I didn’t even like him when I thought he was my brother, and he knows he’s not a nice person.

Dima is already waiting for me when I open the door and I go to him automatically. He pulls me into his chest and kisses the top of my head. I remember the other person I was supposed to ask about and look up, whispering, “I forgot to ask about Yulia.”

He nods and smiles at me before kissing my head again.

“We’ll do whatever you need, lisichka, no one will take it from you.”

FIFTY-TWO

Ana

aka vanya

fourteen days later

My excitement isn’t dampened by Dima’s anger. His hand is gentle on my back as we walk into the warehouse and Yulia is crying like a dickhead. Her mind has broken, it’s what happens when you get no interaction. The muscle slowly decays, and nothing is real while every fear comes out. She’s not frail enough to break her body straight away with them cutting my timeline down from 104 days to a fortnight. Killjoys.

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