Page 94 of Voracious

He doesn’t raise his glass in Ana’s direction and something inside of me settles seeing Vlad’s dumbass head sat opposite him. It was a respectful associate greeting but I don’t know who the fuck he is. My hellion is oblivious, her gaze fixed to my right with a blankness I haven’t seen before. I dip my head to speak in her ear and bring her back, but she leans into me for protection.

“What’s wrong, lisichka?”

Her voice is small, nervous, as she explains, “That woman keeps staring at me, do you think she knows Yulia?”

Sitting taller, I follow her gaze and there’s no one I can see looking in our direction.My hand goes to her nape, more to reassure myself, and my admission is the same.

“She’s never getting near you.”

I don’t know what she looks like, but I’ll kill anyone who matches the vague description Ana has given. My so-called day off is invaded by both of our families as her brothers and Katya walk through and sit themselves down as though they were invited.

I’ve never hidden shit from my sister, anything she asks will be given an honest answer, I’m not her parent and I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do but she’s turned out halfway decent. Her eyes go to my busted knuckles, and she’s clearly changed her mind about letting the cunt live from last night as she slides in beside me and kisses my cheek.

“It’s a special occasion but I’m still not eating a steak.”

Her humor has me relaxing and she talks across me to Ana.

My hellion told these fuckers to be here, and her hand is on my knee. It doesn’t move and the rest of them turn up as Inessa, Stasya, and Dani fit themselves around the table. It’s the most dysfunctional family in existence but I wouldn’t pick another one despite Tali’s attempts at flirting.

“So, Stasi, couldn’t stay away from me?”

She rolls her eyes at him, but he puffs his chest out, ignoring the lack of response.

“It’s okay, I have that effect on people. I even reserved you a seat, come sit on it.”

Inessa is the parent he always longed for, and she doesn’t look away from her menu to reprimand him.

“Keep being disgusting while there are sharp objects around me, and no one willcomeanywhere near you.”

Ana squeezes my knee, and the entire table picks up on the shift in her as she stares at whoever is approaching. All sense of threat leaves seeing Heather walking towards us. Fuck, I’d forgotten she existed, our contract was a monthly one so it’s not like I owe her shit.We weren’t in a relationship, it was fucking, biological. The same can’t be said about Ana, I would rather be celibate and have her in my life in any way that I could than touch anyone else.

The way Heather’s staring at Ana under my arm is pissing me the fuck off, but she does the intelligent thing and looks the fuck away as she keeps fucking walking. Guilt works through methat my hellion is afraid it’s to do with Yulia and I’m a selfish bastard refusing to put her at ease. I don’t want there to be a conversation about anyone I’ve fucked, it was always supposed to be Ana and the way her mind works, she won’t experience jealousy. She’ll accept it as something that’s happened then tell me something from her own life that will show that she can relate and I’ll never fucking allow her to have a conversation about anyone who has ever touched her. I’m not evolved enough to discuss past relationships with my woman.

THIRTY-SEVEN

Ana

Ican’t stop my mind trying to find a place to fit the woman from the restaurant. I’m good with faces but there’s no recall. She had to be staring at me for a reason, you don’t examine a person like that unless you know something. I play my book while Dima drives to block out all the other sounds, but it does nothing to stop the internal one questioning who the woman was.

I’ve always had this feeling that Yulia will find me. She’ll want revenge, she’ll make me relive things again, do things I don’t want to do. It’s dumb when I can kill her, I’m older and I know how to. I couldn’t stop her when I was a child, but I can now.

My mind has finally shut off when a scene plays that has my eyes going wide, so I scrub it back to the beginning of the chapter. I’m forced back into life as Dima stops outside the house. He hesitates with his hand in mine as though he needs support. I give him my full attention and he kisses my palm before he softly says, “She didn’t know Yulia, she knew me, lisichka.”

As soon as I relax, there’s a sinking feeling in my chest. Sheknewhim. I don’t like the thought of Dima touching someone else how he touches me. It makes sense now; she felt the same because he’s good, the type of good that makes you never want to leave his presence.

I quickly get out of the car, forcing a smile so he doesn’t know that it makes me feel weird. I’ve never had anything, but this feels like there’s something being taken away. I’m used to my life, and I don’t get attached to things or people. The few things I do have stay hidden, but Dima is too large in my life to hide. My stomach hurts, it’s not indigestion, it just hurts, and he follows me into the house. I don’t want to be around him when I don’t know anything, it always makes me weaker, and the bags rustle in his hands as I run up the stairs.

I make it to the last step when arms wrap around my middle, and he pulls me into his chest. I don’t fight, even if I feel weird and I don’t why it’s happening, I won’t hurt him when he’s hugging me, not hurting me.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

There’s playfulness in his voice but it doesn’t relax me. I don’t know why the sinking won’t go away, it just gets worse, imagining him doing this with that woman.

My refusal to answer isn’t out of stubbornness but ignorance. There’s nowhere for me to go, I’ve got comfortable here and I don’t want to run away anymore. He walks us towards his bedroom with his lips on the top of my head, and I can feel each breath he takes against my back. He lays me on the bed and leans over me, so we’re eye to eye.

“Tell me you’re mine, beautiful.”

I don’t. My voice comes out weak, asking for the same thing for the first time.

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