Page 93 of Voracious

I love the feeling of her in my hands, knowing that she’s in my arms and fully protected by me. It’s not even sexual, it’s something deeper, this all-consuming need to have her. The routine of having my hellion is everything, little mundane things like doing something and being able to look over and see her. I’ve catalogued every little thing, reaction or gasp, translating their meaning so I know she’s okay before I ask anyway.

It’s that key list that has me pausing when she freezes. Her phone is in her hand, and she slowly pulls the earphones out, uncaring that her book is still playing when she hates losing her place. I sit on the edge of the bed as she looks up at me with big innocent eyes.

“I’ve found her.”

Three whispered words uttered in disbelief.

I look over the top of her screen and it’s a message thread, there’s a picture attached to it and Ana physically zooms in to the person outside of the frame. I’ve heard Nina’s description countless times and I know her arm was amputated, but I stupidly thought they would have done it cleanly. The red harsh scarring shows it wasn’t, the poor girl must have got infected. That’s not why Ana is focused as she slowly moves the photo, inspecting below her elbow and narrows her eyes at the pixelated scar as she quietly says, “I had to give her punishment and I put it there.”

Kids torturing kids, for fuck’s sake.

I risk losing a limb or my life and peel her phone out of her hands when I see the event isn’t for another few days. Thankfully, she doesn’t rage at me, she looks up as I ask, “How you feeling, lisichka?”

Her smile comes back, and she shrugs, turning it back on me.

“I’m used to it. You’re not, I’m sorry you had to pretend to hurt me.”

Too fucking perceptive, a dangerous quality. I stroke her cheek with my thumb and my mouth opens, wanting to say the words so fucking badly, to do exactly what she wanted and to not be a coward.

I won’t confuse her when it happens continuously. Until Nina is safe, Ana’s mind will be too full of every possibility to give anything else her attention. Yet, she surprises me and kisses my cheek as she wraps her arms around my shoulders and loses sight of her goal.

“Do you feel better now?” she asks.

“When didn’t I?”

As long as she’s with me, I’m fine. She leans back and her discomfort is evident as she forces her thoughts out.

“You killed that man. You weren’t happy before and now you won’t get any more letters. Do you feel better? He wasn’t nice so you should.”

I love the fact she didn’t give him the title of a parent.

The admission that continuously lives in my throat is fighting to break free and I focus on our plan for the day to divert it.

“I’m fine. Get ready, beautiful, you need clothes.”

Inessa and Stasya have designated themselves as her personal shoppers, but I want to spoil my woman.

I’ve madethe worst decision possible as I watch Ana pick her panties. I hold her hips and stand behind her so no one thinks I’m getting off on being around the fabric. Everything around me is forming an image of my hellion modelling them, even the stuff that isn’t meant for sex appeal but to be functional. Underneathher all black outfits there’s always a touch of pale pink. I grab everything we pass in the color, adding it to the haul of things she’ll model for me.

She hasn’t understood how this works, despite this being the fourth shop, and takes out her card, thinking it’s for anything other than decoration. My woman isn’t going to spend anyone’s money other than mine, even her own. The sales assistant smiles at her and takes my card as Ana frowns and stares at her card then mine currently being swiped.

Her shoulder presses into my chest as she tilts her head up and asks, “Did that idiot give me a fake card?”

I take her bags and guide her out now that she’s got everything she wanted. I’ve had at least one hand on her at all times and it’s no different as we go to the car. She still acts confused when I open the door for her, but she’s stopped protesting.

I haven’t had a full twenty-four hours to myself in over twenty years, the day feels longer. It could be the company; my will is slowing time down so I can soak up as much of her as possible. Realization hits me, I want this normal shit. I’ve become accustomed to reliving the same shit every day, Ana breaks it up, there’s something new in each moment with her.

Taking her hand as I drive to the restaurant that’s her favorite, I kiss her knuckles and rest it on my thigh. She’s so fucking pure, thanking me for shit that’s normal.

“Thank you for buying my things, do you want me to get you something?”

I nod and squeeze her hand as I force back my demand that she be mine. “Yeah, wear everything for me.”

She smiles and lays her head on my bicep without moving her hand away. “I was thinking of getting you socks.”

I swear this woman is a contradiction, she killed someone less than twenty-four hours ago, there was blood all over her, but now she’s hugging my bicep and nuzzling her cheek closer.

Her excitement comes out when she sees the restaurant and she glows with it as I pull up outside. She doesn’t get out of the car, and I don’t have to tell her to stay seated as she keeps herself busy on her phone. Each step I tell myself one day, one day her mind won’t be filled with shit that confuses her and I’ll make her mine in every sense of the word. She’s stopped talking to herself and she stays by my side as we walk into the restaurant. There’s no space between us this time as we take our seats in the same booth and I keep my arm over the back of the curved booth at the sight of the suited prick who tipped his glass in her direction the first time we were here.

---