Page 40 of Voracious

But I get disturbed again, and Dima’s big body climbs out of the window. He nervously walks towards me, and I have to pause it, again, when he opens his mouth. “What you listening to, torture sounds?”

He doesn’t let me answer his question as he lowers to sit beside me and plucks up the dangling earphone to listen along. I might not have had friends, or anyone talk to me when I was at Yulia’s, but I know this is weird.

He doesn’t ever seek me out while I’ve been staying here. Maybe he doesn’t want to be alone after his episode in the car. Rather than playing my book, I focus on the envelope in his hand and my voice lowers despite us being alone as I ask, “What’s that?”

A heavy sigh pushes his chest out and he copies me, laying back and staring up at the sky.I don’t think I’m going to get an answer until he turns his head, and he softly smiles seeingmyeyes. “A letter from my father.”

His smile dips and returns every time I blink but he’s not scared or screaming at me. I’ve never noticed that his eyes are like pure silver, the moon makes them shine brighter. Without his pupils they’d look like two moons and it’s not uncomfortable being this close to him.

My questions come out slow asking about his family since neither he or Katya talk about their parents, and I assumed they were orphans. “Why don’t you want to read it?”

Melancholy mixes with pained anger as he answers, “He killed my mama.” Holding the envelope up so I can see the return the address, he adds, “These come from his cell.”

I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel, I can’t imagine having parents never mind losing them.Focusing back on the sky to hide my ignorance, I keep my voice low. “Was she nice?”

If she was nice then it’s sad, if she wasn’t then he should be happy.

Dima doesn’t get offended at my question, he smiles in my periphery and stares at my profile.

“Yeah, she was nice. She’d always make us cakes and sew Katya dresses. Even though they were pink and frilly, she’d wear them and put on a fashion show so Mama could see her designs come to life.”

I can’t imagine Katya wearing anything frilly, she looks like a doll but she always dresses in monochromatic colors. I turn my head so he can see I’m genuine, and my voice comes out weak with the new conversation.

“I’m sorry you lost your mom.” His smile gets softer, and I quickly add, “Do you want me to kill him?”

I know how to do that. It would be easy, and I can record it so he can watch it whenever he wants.

A soft laugh leaves him on a breath, and he sits up. I don’t move as he gently lifts my hair off my face, pushes it behind my ear, and I freeze when he stares into my eyes. I want to close them, hide before he can tell me I’m evil. But he doesn’t say that.

“Can you do something for me?”

His voice is soothing, coaxing me to do what he says, but I don’t have to think of my answer. “Probably not.”

His chest vibrates and he strokes my cheek with his thumb as his smile widens.The soft voice comes out again as he looks between each of my eyes as he asks, “Can you stop wearing your contacts?”

Definitely fucking not.

I wouldn’t know how to adjust to the world without them, Marlo’s voice would be in my head every time someone looked in my direction. I’m silent to stop the memories and Dima remains above me, watching me so there are three moons in my line of sight. One in the sky that has always been there and two in Dima’s head, all three telling me they’re never leaving.

“Just around me?” he asks even softer.

I hesitate. I want to be me, this is the first chance I have and he’s smiling at me not Ana.

Unease chokes me, a golf ball forming in my throat making my voice too quiet. “Yeah.”

The smile doesn’t leave his face and he slowly moves forward. I quickly tuck my chin to my chest to get away from whatever’s going to happen. I shouldn’t have stayed on the roof; he can throw me off and I won’t be able to stop him. But he doesn’t follow me, he moves up and presses his lips to my forehead with gratitude.

“Thank you, lisichka.”

He’s speaking as though it’s something to be honored instead of sinister. He’s immune to the evil inside of me or Marlo and Yulia were lying. No, they couldn’t be. The clients said the same thing and one of them even fainted when they saw my eyes.

He moves back, clearing his throat, and I restart my book while staring up at the sky. I forgot what part it was up to and my lips twitch hearing the human shouting at the alien. Dima is annoying and keeps disturbing me with his stupid mouth. “Do you like reading books?”

Yes, when I’m left alone to actually fucking enjoy them.

It stops the quiet and I get to leave this planet and go to a different one, there’s no Yulia and I’m not searching for someone who might be dead.But I say, “Yes.”

I press pause and he nods to himself, but he keeps fucking talking, “Which ones? I’ll buy them.”

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