Page 39 of Voracious

“You want to have a nap, lisichka?”

I nod then quickly change my answer as I nearly groan out loud at the feeling of my jeans suddenly becoming too tight. He moves closer and wraps his arm around my shoulder while his other hand goes under the table.

My heart slows in disappointment. I thought he wasn’t like everyone else. He whispers into my ear as I push myself back toget away from him, but he softly says, “I’m not going to touch you, it’s just to make you feel comfortable.”

His hand doesn’t go between my thighs, or under my t-shirt. He manages to unbutton my jeans without moving my clothes or touching my skin. I can breathe again, not because he didn’t touch me, but I’m not restricted.He doesn’t leave his hand under the table or try to touch me. Dima shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders so no one can see that my pants are undone. He keeps asking me random questions again. “What tattoo are you going to get?”

He’s been doing it for days and I answer because I don’t want to lose my voice. I tell him all about the designs without the reason for them.

“Trees and an alien, I might get a huge spaceship too.”

If I’m covered in unique pictures, Yulia can’t take me back, it’s too risky when someone could remember seeing me and I won’t blend in anymore.I can’t be sold if there’s no part of my skin for them to see scars on so she can’t have me to train or to give to clients and I’m free.

Focusing on anything other than the food in front of me after eating so much, I note Amon sat in the far corner. His back is to the wall so he can watch everyone, and he discreetly tips his glass toward me on the journey to his lips. Does this mean we’re friends? I’ve never seen him outside of when I need money before, but I’ve never really done anything other than look for Nina apart from when I’m working for Valentin.Yeah, I think that means we’re friends. He doesn’t smile or walk over; he just sits there observing the room. There’s no acknowledgment other than the minute tilt of his tumbler and Dima stiffens beside me with his grumble, “We’re leaving.”

I’m about to put money on the table when I’m suddenly in the air. His arms are under my knees and back as he picks me up and stoically walks out of the restaurant. I push my body weightdown, so he lets me go but he just holds me tighter and his jaw clenches. Fucking asshole.

I can’t fight in a restaurant full of people, they’ll never let me back in again. He ignores me when I ask to be put down and doesn’t loosen his hold until he sits me in the car. He’s trying to lock me in the car, the dickhead, and I push my full weight against the door. He flattens his palm on the roof of the car and leans down, pushing his big head in the car and he’s pissed.

“Don’t do it, lisichka, we’re going home.”

I’m about to argue when my stomach hurts and I tense. The movement has him softening and he touches my face.He lowers his voice and anger around a genuine smile that reaches his silver eyes.

“Ate too much?”

It’s not painful enough to dull me and I pull on the door, hoping it slices his head off. Unfortunately, Dima moves back, and I don’t get the reaction I want as he walks around the car and starts the engine.

Food is supposed to give you energy, but I’m exhausted and my eyes close. Normally my mind takes me to the forest when I close my eyes in a car, but I’m in a different place and I’m watching everything happen again.

Marlo sits behind me in his chair with Yulia stood beside him and his voice is filled with anger.

“You’re weak, pathetic. One guard was able to disarm you.”

She joins in, only focusing on the money. “You don’t earn anything. I pay to keep you.”

I don’t want to fucking be here again, but I can’t move. My legs are stuck how I’ve been conditioned to kneel for the punishment. It’s cold and there are dots on my skin as my teeth chatter.

I want to go back inside.

Stand up, they can’t do anything, it’s a dream.

The sky turns white, and the soft flakes fall only to melt into a puddle as soon as they get close to the open flames. His cane taps on the floor, and I have no time to prepare as the handle hooks around my neck and I’m pulled back into the flame. The contrast of my frozen skin and the burning against my back sets my full body on fire. I bite my tongue so I don’t scream again, and blood fills my mouth as the cut on the inside of my cheek reopens.

A hand encases mine, the fingers touching my palm as a thumb strokes the back of my hand. It doesn’t stop the memory, but it stops me being alone. I can’t pull myself out of it, I have to finish watching or it will follow me when I open my eyes. The soft stroking doesn’t stop as it mixes with light squeezes and my eyes snap open as soon as Marlo has finished pouring the hot oil on my frozen skin.

Blinking twice to get my contacts to move back in the right place, I look down to see Dima is holding my hand. Weirdo. He’s parked outside his house and his other hand is on the steering wheel. I have to straighten my hand and slide it out like a snake because the dumbass doesn’t move. Is he having an episode? He said he was going to have a breakdown in the restaurant.

Oh fuck. Am I supposed to help him? Do I pat his head like people do to dogs or say something?

It’s better if I leave him alone and he can work through whatever mental problem he has without me watching him. I slip out of the car and leave his jacket on the seat before I go inside. It’s the first day where I don’t have anyone to kill, and I don’t have the energy to search for someone.But I pause at the bottom of the stairs because he hasn’t followed me inside. He’s still sat in the car, and I leave the front door open, so he remembers where to go once he’s finished with his breakdown.

My hair isn’t fallingout as much since I got the new shampoo, and I don’t put my contacts back in before climbing out of the window after washing the day away. The roof isn’t steep, making it easy to sit on and watch the sky as I listen to my book. It’s relaxing not seeing anything above me other than the dark sky. I’m not going to be caught out in case someone comes after me and leave one earphone out so I can hear.

It’s getting to the good part where the aliens find the human when the back door slides open. Dima’s bad mood colors the air and I peek over the edge, watching what he’s doing. His face is always miserable but not because of any thoughts, it’s just the way it looks when he’s relaxed. Right now, it’s different, his shoulders are tense, and he blows a harsh breath out of his nose as he lights a cigarillo.

I don’t like seeing him sad, it’s uncomfortable. There’s something in his hand, a thick piece of paper that glows under the moonlight as he spins it, contemplating the contents. This is why he needed to sit in the car for longer and I wish I was like Dani. She knows people and how to act when they’re sad, but I don’t. He doesn’t notice me until he’s finished smoking and turns around to go back inside. His eyes widen and some of the tension leaves his shoulders. It comes back straight away, and he grumbles too low for me to hear before he stomps inside.

Now my distraction has gone, I lay flat against the roof and plant my feet against the tiles, so I don’t slip. I’m relaxed again when I restart the chapter and I push my hands behind my head with my fingers threaded together as the narrator’s voice fills with emotion on the buildup to my favorite part where the alien and the human start arguing.

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