Page 29 of Voracious

“I’m not in a relationship to break up with someone.”

Why the fuck is that making me feel better? But I know the cycle of back and forward, leaving and then going back to the person because they convince you they’ve changed. They promise the world in exchange for your comfort and never deliver.

I’m quiet for too long and the silence builds as I carefully attempt to arrange the words to form a sentence I wish someone had said to my mother. Breaking it softly, hoping that she understands that he’s a lying cunt and she has options, I tilt my body so I can see her.

“You deserve better than to be his punching bag, don’t go back to him. Hedoesn’t really love you, or anyone, he’s only capable of loving himself.”

She’s serious until the last sentence and snorts with her laugh wrapping around more things she believes are facts.

“There’s nothing to love. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I won’t be.”

She’s not that ugly and some fucker out there might be into her type of crazy so writing it off as something that will never happen doesn’t make sense. There’s no longing on her face, as with everything, she has acceptance on her features. She softens and this version of her is new.

“Thank you, I know you didn’t have to bring me here and you looked like you were going to throw up when the nonce was screaming.”

I want to become a kangaroo so I can keep her in my pouch, and so that no one can ever hurt her again. She’ll be able to be this person all the time.That thought is fucking insane tome. I tighten my fingers on the steering wheel and focus on the road to resist the urge to grab her hand.

She never calls them pedophiles, it’s nonce or sick fuck, or cunt. I keep talking just so I can hear her in the hopes it replaces the sight of her huddled on the floor from earlier today.

“Why do you call them nonces?”

She’s so excited about the conversation, her words come faster. “Pedophile is made up of two Greek words. Pedo meaning child and phile is love or loving. It’s wrong, they don’t love children. Nonce tells you everything you need to know. Not On Normal Communal Exercise. They need to be kept away from everyone.”

It makes sense, it’s the most rational thing I’ve ever heard from the most erratic mind.She taps away on her phone again and scrunches her nose up, not liking whatever’s there. Her groan vibrates through the car, and she slams her phone on the seat between her thighs before she closes her eyes and grits, “Can I have your car for two days?”

I should be honored that she’s asking rather than stealing it, but am I fuck letting her go off alone on whatever expedition is going to get her killed.I’ll be by her side, not to offer helpbecause she’s more than capable of killing who she wants. It’s for something she’s never had before, support.

“Tell me when and where, I’ll go with you.”

Ana doesn’t argue and she just stares at the road, frowning and blinking rapidly. Her eyes must be sore as fuck with something touching them all the time.

The scowl doesn’t leave as we pull up outside the house and she slowly gets out of the car while lost to her thoughts. Every time I think I’ve found the human hidden within the hellion, she reverts back ten steps and knocks me on my ass.

She stops abruptly as I pass her and open the front door for her.

“Why are you being nice to me?”

I’m not being nice. I’ve done fuck all that would be categorized as remotely nice.My anger roars at the shit coming out of her mouth.

“Is it because of what the other guards say? I can just tell you if it is.”

I’ve heard them talking shit, gossiping about what type of fuck she would be. Turning to face her, I fist my hands, so I don’t end up wrapping them around her neck and my voice drops.

“I’m not being nice to you and don’t listen to a fucking thing they say.”

Relief flashes across her face as she sees the tension in my body, violence is comfort to her. She relaxes and goes back to our previous topic without giving me enough information.

“Next week, near the Canadian border.”

She doesn’t hum or talk to herself as she walks past me and there are no other words exchanged as she runs up the stairs. She’s going to take over my life without ever knowing or caring and I step into the house, making sure it’s locked up without alarming her window so she can run away and make it easier on us both.

TWELVE

Ana

Dima is being strange, secretive. He’s stopped pretending to be nice or trying to be. But he still keeps smiling at me and I want him to stop. It never comes out of my mouth though. It’s there on his face as we pull up outside the Vartanovs’ house and none of the guards say anything to me as we get out of the car. They still smirk to each other and look between Dima and me while they’re doing it. Tali pulls the door open before I can even touch it and his smile doesn’t make me feel strange the same way Dima’s does. He smiles at everyone, and he never says he hates me.

He throws his arm around my shoulders and pulls me inside. I know he’s high when he laughs around his declaration.

---