Page 28 of Voracious

Katya always makes a big deal about birthdays, there’s a gift you have to open in the morning and then little traditions through the day. Our mom always did it, made a big deal over aging, saying we’ll be grown up soon and she needs to celebrate us growing.

Fuck, am I supposed to buy her something? I don’t even know what she’d like other than killing someone and kick the cunt in the bag, trying to assuage my guilt.

“Consider this your late birthday present?”

The innocence on her face is killing me and she nods her head too fast like a bobble head.She talks more to herself than me as she hoses down the blood.

“I’ve never had a birthday present before. One year I stole a cupcake so I could have a cake, but it had ants on it, and I thought they were sprinkles because it was dark.”

There’s no sadness in her voice, she’s laughing at herself. Finding humor in the most desolate fucking memory. I’m going to sob. I swear every time she opens her mouth I want to cry. I need her to murder someone else, watch her torture and rip their dick off layer by layer so I can remind myself what she’s capable of.

I’ll buy her a cake. I’ll bake the cunt myself if I have to. She snaps her head up, remembering I’m still here as I ask, “What’s your favorite flavor?”

Her head slowly tilts to the side as though it’s a difficult question and she speaks too slowly.

“Tali gave me a red one, that was nice.”

I message the pig to find out where he got it from, and it turns into a conversation of expecting the worst of me.

Me:

Where did you get the red velvet cake you gave Ana?

Vitya:

I can’t tell you my dealer

I’ll get you one too

The fuck ??

What happened? Did you stab her?

Oh fuck. You did, didn’t you?

It was her birthday and she’s never had a cake

Leave it with me. Bring her with you tomorrow

You were always shit with birthdays

For fuck’s sake, now I’m going to get shot or she’ll kick my head in. The little puppy will plan something extravagant and who knows what the hellion’s reaction will be. She’ll probably set it all on fire. I look up, telling myself it’s to check I’m safe when really it’s due to the way she’s always peaceful once she’s satiated her blood lust. There’s blood on her cheek and nose from where she’s itched her face and she’s cute as fuck as she crosses her eyes, trying to see what’s on it. I’m more disturbed by my own thoughts than what she’s doing.

I don’t speak as I take the hose from her and wet my hand to clean her face. It’s so I’m not caught with someone covered in blood and it has nothing to do with the soft smile on her face. I have to actively move my hand away from her face and take over the cleaning so I can get my senses to recalibrate to how they should be. Why the fuck am I touching her? She didn’t react in violence which is odd, and she starts humming to herself as I move around the warehouse righting everything.

She’s rattling with energy by the time I finish, and her eyes are red, burning. I keep my voice low, hesitating to burst her bubble as I guide her out of the warehouse.

“You can take your contacts out now, if you want.”

Adding the last bit on so I don’t get killed doesn’t have the desired effect. She stiffens and shakes her head as she quickensher steps. Her eyes are already closed when I get in the car, and I want to see those unique blues again.

They freakishly snap open when her phone buzzes and I start the car to focus on something other than the hellion beside me. She doesn’t speak and I try to plug as much authority in my voice as possible to stop there being a repeat of her bruises.

“Break up with him.”

It comes out angry and rough. No one deserves to be beaten by the person who’s supposed to be their safe space. Even if Ana thinks she can handle the pain, the mental anguish is going to come back to haunt her.

I relax as she innocently giggles to herself. It always ends sad, as though she’s regretting being happy and her monotonous voice floats through the car.

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