Page 130 of Voracious

I can’t blink to clear it and it creates false images.

The small patches of skin visible on Vlad’s face lose all color. The semi-dried blood is darker against it as he sits on his knees with his hands limply on the floor, and his eyes are freaky. Pained red makes the icy blue colder and he stretches his hands out towards me as the gun clatters like he’s forgotten it exists. The fake image of him gets closer, crawling towards me on his hands and knees. He’s demonic with his face covered in red and I’m slowly dragged backward towards the wall as heels rapidly click against the floor.

The chains groan, pulling my hand away from the knife as my limbs are stretched again. I manage to clear some of the blurriness but dark orbs float at the edges of my vision. The crawling image of Vlad speeds up and his chest heaves as his voice cracks.

“Vanya, no, solnyshkuh.”

Multiple booted footsteps ring out in the background and the chains stop tugging as I’m forced in the opposite direction of the wall. I’m pulled onto hard thighs, and my head is cradled like I’m a child. Boiling liquid hits my cheek, but I can’t see as pressure is applied to my throat and soft begging reaches my ears.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Papa will get you medicine. I’ll fix it, solnyshkuh, just open your eyes.”

More drops hit my cheek, and something touches my hair. The chains rattle against each other as my body moves from side to side. There are more footsteps but I can’t hear anyone breathe as I gurgle, “D-D?—”

“Shhh.” The rocking continues, softly swaying me from side to side, “I’ll fix it, solnyshkuh, papa will fix it. Just stay awake, stay with me, I’ll fix it this time.”

I try to ask for Dima, to help him again, but I can’t because there’s something slipping down the back of my throat as pressure bands against my neck.

“Can you smile for papa? Come on, Vanoushka, open your eyes.”

More hot drops hit my face, and everything darkens as my senses slowly leave.

“No, no! You can’t leave me again, please, solnyshkuh.”

Warmth covers me despite everything inside turning cold and the whispering turns panicked, childlike, and innocent.

“Please, don’t leave me. Not again, not when I’ve got you again. Please, Vanya, please. Open your eyes, my beautiful baby. Smile for papa. Please don’t fucking leave me again.”

The hot drops get faster, coating my cheeks and the cold intensifies with the whispers.

“Open your eyes for papa, please, solnyshkuh. Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me again. Not again. Not blue again, please.”

The coldness seeping through my body is a stark contrast to the heat swiping over my face.

“You’ll be okay, I’ll get you the medicine.”

Warmth covers my cheek and presses against my forehead.

“I can’t lose you, not again. My happy baby, please open your eyes.”

The soft hum of the song I made up fills the air and my soul sinks down, out of my body into a dark space that’s not Venus with the whispers fading.

“Open your eyes, I’ll get you a new p?—”

Chapter Forty-Eight

VLAD

Idon’t remember a time in my life when I’ve prayed. As I sit on the hard wooden bench around people in varying stages of grief, the urge to believe in a higher power is under my skin. If there’s something in control of life it can be reasoned with, a deal can be made.

My hands don’t come together, I don’t bow my head. Every part of my body is limp as I sit in the pew having a one-sided conversation with an entity I don’t believe in and if it is real, it has done more damage to me than any enemy possibly could.

‘You took her from me. I’ve spent her entire life mourning someone that was alive and visiting the grave of a child who isn’t mine. A child who has no one but still fucking comforted me.

Save her, save my Vanya. Or I’ll become a fucking Saint just to come up there and turn heaven into hell. I’ll spend the rest of my life being kind or fucking charitable, solve world peace just to kill everything once I’m past those fucking gates.

Take Dima instead, he’s useless, and it will solve a problem. But stay the fuck away from my daughter. She’s been given a horrific life because we both failed. You didn’t protect her or allow me to so now is your chance. You save her, kill someone else or hundreds. But you will not make me bury my daughter a second fucking time.

You owe me. And you owe her.’

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