Page 118 of Voracious

Inessa

Don’t hate him please. He loves you and thinks about you every day. I swear to you that he didn’t know, Vlad would not have left you behind if he did. He didn’t do it when he thought you’d died, and visits the grave every year so he could feel close to you. Take all the time you need, we’re family and we’re not going anywhere. We love you Vanya (I’ll call you Ana if you prefer to keep that name)

I turn my phone off to focus on the last moments I’ll have with Dima. He always kisses my hand when he’s driving, and I do the same to his.His smile is soft as he threads his fingers through mine then kisses the back of my scuffed knuckles. His thumb gently massages the side of my finger and he kisses each of my fingers individually in between his whispered promise.

“You’ll be safe, lisichka, I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

I hope he won’t hate me.

The wish repeats on a loop as I bring his hand to my lips again and stare at the side of his face. If he hates me, I won’t be able to breathe, but I need him to be safe.

“My lock,” I mumble into the back of his hand.

He turns to look at me as we drive through the empty streets from the warehouse. His voice is softer, filled with emotion, as he says, “Then you’re the key to my life. Without you, I would have nothing,benothing. One day you’ll have everything, krasotka.”

FORTY-FIVE

Dima

There’s a wild energy behind Ana’s eyes. Or Vanya, fuck I don’t even know what the fuck to call her in my own head, but it doesn’t diminish who she is. I try to get her to eat and she ignores the food in favor of filling herself up on answers.

“Do you think he loved me?” she asks.

Vlad has never controlled himself before, he doesn’t allow anyone to point a gun at him and live. The bastard doesn’t even have emotions like a normal person, it’s all sarcastic rage, but he was grieving in front of her eyes and begging for the first time in his life which can’t be denied.

Turning her chair to face me, I brush her hair over her shoulder and nod. “I think he did, but this is all confusing and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Her mind is working on something else, and she doesn’t take in the words. There’s a sinking in my gut, knowing she’s retreating mentally, it intensifies when she looks over my shoulder to the clock on the wall before coming back to me with determination.

I’m trying to work out what she’s going to do when my sweet hellion stands and wraps her arms around me. She kisses my cheek and whispers with a finality I fucking hate.

“You’re my favorite person, please don’t hate me.”

My mouth opens to tell her it’s not possible, but she moves back and turns into the killer as she kicks the chair out from under me and catches my body with her arm banded around my neck.

She’s choking me out.

I drop my weight down to free myself but she’s being powered with more than her physical strength. My body isn’t reacting like it should either, I could easily shake her off usually, but my arms are too heavy to lift as she tearfully whispers, “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

My tongue fills with the same weight as my limbs, unable to move to tell her to fucking stop, that I didn’t lie to her, but she speaks over my mumbled attempts.

“I’ll keep you safe once it’s over, I promise.”

What the fuck is she talking about? It’s my job to protect her. The arm around my throat stays in place, holding me up and waiting as she kisses my crown.

I’m trying to speak, to scream, and tell her to fucking stop but nothing comes out. It’s useless, a mumble, and my hellion presses her lips to my forehead as she lays me down and black dots dance in my vision.

“I trust you, no one else.” She kisses my forehead again as she sits on the cold floor and lays my head on her lap. “My favorite person. I’m sorry, Dima, but she can’t melt you.”

What the fuck is with the cryptic shit?

My mind fights to move my limbs but they don’t even twitch as she continues her haunted whispering.

“You’re better than the bouncy ball, the sticker, all of it, and she’ll know. She’ll hurt you and take you away.”

There’s a pained sniffle as I try to lift my arm.

“Don’t fight it, Dima, sleep then I might come back. Okay?”

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