Page 91 of Vulnerate

He has to ruin everything by opening his mouth. We don’t have anouranything. He has his bed and I have mine. Waking up beside Val would ruin me, I’d be pulled further into his orbit never wanting to leave.He pulls over beside the water and slides his seat back as he unclips my belt. Lifting me over the center console, he places me between his thighs and wraps his arms around my middle with his chin resting on my shoulder. The softness comes back, and I’m dizzy from his constant mood changes.

“Eat your food, I know you would have forgotten while you were working.”

The sky is that weird tinge of blue where it’s still light and I can hear the water rushing to join the river making the act of eating pizza more intimate than it ever should be.

Val’s hands don’t go between my legs and his touches are innocent. But my body translates them as indecent when he pushes them through the sides of my overalls and under my t-shirt. He kisses my neck as I try to eat, and I nearly choke as he moves up my jaw. It’s not due to the contact but his vulnerability.

“You know this is everything I’ve wanted since I was eleven years old?” The soft voice is killing me, and I stare out at the water rather than focus on the emotions building in the car. “I’ll do anything for you, Dani mine.”

I don’t argue as he presses his promise to my cheek.

I want to point out every time he’s fucked someone other than me. Give the names of those he chose while I waited like an idiot even if wewere kids then, but he didn’t see that I had a crush or how much I loved him because I’d act like a freak every time we were alone.

I hold the outside of his thighs and he laughs lightly sitting back and taking me with him. “You’re so fucking adorable, wiping your greasy fingers on me.”

I didn’t wipe my hands on him, but I wish I did.I point to the napkin I used like a civilized person and lean into his chest enjoying the peace. “I used that, not you.”

He destroys it closing up the box and dropping it out of the window.

“Don’t litter, it’s bad for the environment.”

I can hear his eye roll and the soft interior lights come on as I’m folded in half. Valentin leans over me grabbing the box from the tarmac and putting it back in the car.

Wrapping his arm around me again he repositions me, so I’m sat on his thigh with my head on his shoulder. He’s so pretty and he doesn’t look at the waterfall in front of us. He strokes his fingers through my hair and brushes his nose against mine allowing the vulnerability to come back.

“How many dates until you agree to be my wife?”

I want to say none and agree right now. If he was like this all the time I’d have no doubts, all the other shit would be forgotten, and reality wouldn’t be able to touch us.I focus on facts, already giving in to what we both want.

“I have rules.”

I’ll take other people’s opinions being low of me as long as Valentin doesn’t make me a fool. It might not lead to marriage but at least I’ll get a taste of what we could be. He’s nearly vibrating with excitement, and he can’t keep it out of his voice as he agrees too quickly before I’ve even listed them.

“Anything you want baby.”

“No touching anyone else,” I start.

“Easy, I haven’t since you came back.” He looks truthful but I don’t believe it.

“You can’t lie to me.”

“Done.” Still open and not shielding anything.

“You can’t talk to anyone you’ve been inlove with.”

“It’s only ever been you.”

Valentin softens and cups my cheek.

There’s no chance his entire life was on hold in the years I was in Brazil. He’s too social and enjoys people. Trying to be authoritative, I lean closer examining his features for deceit.

“Don’t lie.”

Regret pulls his face down and he moves me so I’m straddling his thighs. He speaks slowly, hesitating over spilling his thoughts. “I’m not, I’ve fucked other people, but I’ve never loved any of them.”

A bitter taste coats my tongue at the thought of anyone else touching him.Stroking up my thighs, he holds my hips and pulls me forward with more strength in his voice.

“I’ve never brought anyone home or told them I have a kid.” He sighs and tacks on, “I’m not helping my case, but I’m pretty sure they only know my full name by reputation.”

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