Page 55 of Vulnerate

“I killed Denis and Len gave that cunt proof.”

My brother has rules regarding etiquette, it’s his way of appearing civilized when our parents are animals. Those rules disappear as he drains his whisky in one gulp. I can’t find anyone in my memory with that name and they must be extremely powerful for the proof to stop Vlad. He’s killed enough people to make a town extinct, who gives a fuck about one cunt.

Seeing my confusion, he says two words that has me dropping into the armchair.

“Dmitri’s brother.”

The psychotic cunt. Who kills the Moscow Pakhan’s brother? A suicidal idiot that’s also my brother. He couldn’t chose anyone else rather than the psychotic head of the Bratva?

“When?” My tone is hard, demanding. I don’t give a fuck who he kills but he’s my brother and he owes me an explanation when my revenge is being put on hold.

He refills his tumbler and drains it before he drops the empty glass on the bar top and becomes his usual closed off self.

“I was thirteen, I didn’t know they were recording the fights.” There’s an audible gulp and he looks away adding lower, “They recorded everything.”

I take advantage of the rare honesty. “Why?”

Vlad reverts back to keeping his secrets at my question and the twisted smile is filled with satisfaction as he says, “Because I fucking felt like it.”He nods to my hands and changes topics, slamming the gates on history. “Leno?”

My hand is fucked and there’s blood all over me. He doesn’t walk away; he takes out the first aid kit and I withhold Dani’s name.

“I was with my girl, and he was stood watching like a pervert.”

I don’t know why I expect the prick to be normal as he smirks and pats my shoulder. “Maybe don’t fuck her in public and you won’t have that problem.” His voice is low, secretive, as he stops himself and lowers into the seat opposite, giving me a promise. “You won’t have to wait long to kill him, give me a couple of months and he’s yours.”

I want to know how, but he’ll have some scheme that will see him as the winner. He always does.

He takes my hand, testing I haven’t broken anything before he wipes the blood off my knuckles and I’m a kid again. Is this how Viktor will feel when he’s older? He doesn’t have any issues and he rarely comes to me with them, but Vlad has always filled that role for all of us. My voice is weak and low while the rest of the house sleeps.

“I act like a dick, but I wouldn’t be able to do shit without you.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “You’ll be fine, I need you to stop fucking around though. You can either become a Vor through a vote or marriage. Make a choice.”

The only person I will ever crown is currently in my room masking her hate, and my brother mentions her name while I hide it.

“You gave Dani your pendant.”

My hand is cleaned up and I choose silence rather than lying to him. But it doesn’t stop the questioning look. “It was never Carly was it?” I shake my head weakly and he takes a deep breath as he stands, imparting his old ass wisdom.

“You fucked up, but I won’t force you to marry someone. Take over some of the fights and businesses then I’ll call a vote with the Vory.”

He’s a dick to everyone but there’s one thing my brother isn’t capable of, he’s never unfair and pats my shoulder before leaving. I go back to my room needing to be with my girl. She’ll probably have had enough time to work her anger back up but at least she’ll be there. I won’t have an empty bed with a memory of her but the real thing for one night. My Dani is sat on the edge of my bed wearing one of my t-shirts with a soft smile on her face as she holds a photo of Viktor from his first birthday. I can recall every little thing, even if it wasn’t the first thing I saw when I woke up every day since it was taken.It was the day we all could breathe, even Vlad relaxed and stopped pacing through my floor at night to check on him every five minutes.

She gently places it in my hand as I sit beside her and there are tears lining her lashes. “You’re a good dad.” Letting out a watery laugh and a sniffle, she adds her insult, “A shitty person, but a really good dad.”

I tilt her face up so she can’t look away from me and there’s so much longing in those pretty brown eyes.

“What’s wrong, Dani mine?”

She swipes the tears that have fallen with her knuckle and her answer is filled with regret. “I imagined this was my life, for so many years, I think it’s just hit me that it never will be.”

Picking her up, I lay on my back with her head against my chest. If I close my eyes it’s almost like we’re in my car again. I become the person I was then as I rest my lips on top of her hair.

“So did I. It’s always been you and when Vik would scream in the middle of the night or get ill, and I’d feel like I couldn’t breathe I’d lie to myself.” Looking up at me, I stroke her cheek with my thumb and voice the only thing I would change about my kid. “I don’t remember shit about Carly, so I thought there was a chance he was ours. That maybe she was covering for you and for some reason you couldn’t be with us.” My voice lowers even further as I admit, “It was the only thing that kept me going, that maybe, in some fucked up universe, I’d forgottenyouand I still had you.”

It’s going to be over soon, and I press my lips to her forehead, needing the dreams to become a memory and wrap my arms around her back keeping her with me for however long I can.

The hesitant whisper is filled with equal parts confusion and disgust as she looks up at me. “I feel like my head’s going to explode, I wish you’d tell me everything.”

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