Page 45 of Vulnerate

“Go talk to him, he’ll be confused otherwise.”

Tali opened his big mouth and spilled everything to her like a shithead. Rather than get kicked again, I drag my feet to find Viktor in the stables.His favorite horse is a grumpy bastard and only ever relaxes in his presence. Katya stands at the end, afraid of getting near the animal as he feeds it an apple and I gesture with my head for her to leave, focusing on her relief while I go through words trying to form a sentence. Nothing comes to me, so I settle for, “Can I talk to you, little man?”

I’ve fought in the cage for years, a grown ass killer but I sound weak.He turns his body while his attention is fixed on the horse and his voice is monotonous.

“I know you love me.”

The first time I heard those three words I was a teenager, and he won’t ever experience the mind fuck of not understanding the sentiment. I’d rather annoy him with the reminder that I’ll always be here than hurt him with the coldness and questions over his own worth.

His horse lets out a harsh gust of air from its nostrils as I stay at the mouth of stable cubicle and attempt to hide my panic.

“There’s someone who wants to meet you, she’s a friend of Tali’s.”

I’ll blame that prick; he bought her into our lives.

Viktor’s voice turns high pitched and there’s a disgusting taste in my mouth as he asks, “Is it his girlfriend?”

The thought of my brother being anything with my girl pisses me off. She’s mine, until I decide she isn’t.

Killing the idea in his little head before he can take it further, I turn rarely serious and drop down, so we’re eye to eye.

“If you don’t want to see her you don’t have to.”

Part of me wants him to latch onto her so I have an excuse to be around Dani. I’m sinking low as fuck using my own kid, but it’ll be easier to rationalize why she’s there, that way I’ll have an excuse to have her in my life.

He tilts his head to the side, thinking about what he wants. I’ve never made him do shit he doesn’t want to. He has three bedrooms and he’ll randomly decide which floor he wants to sleep on depending on hismood. If he can’t sleep and wants quiet it’s Vlad’s, Tali’s when he has too much energy, but he always comes to me for comfort.

He looks around before speaking and stepping closer to me.

“Is she family or do I have to pretend again?”

With Vlad’s wedding his pretending, as he likes to call it, has been perfected. Viktor can act like the rest of us emotionless pricks when he needs to, but my answer changes on its journey from my brain to my tongue.

“She’s family.”

There’s no reaction, he just accepts it without any questions, moving on to his demands. “I want a puppy or a kitten.”

He’s allergic to cats so I don’t know where the idea has come from. I’m not picking up after a dog dropping its shit everywhere, so I deflect. “Yeah, ask Vlad for a puppy. You can’t have a cat, or you’ll get sick.”

He can tell him no, so he doesn’t get pissed at me.

Viktor nods and shows he’s a Vartanov. “I know, but you can’t say no twice so he’ll have to make a deal and get me the puppy.”

The sound of footsteps moving closer down the path and Tali’s annoying ass voice have me straightening. “Don’t worry, he takes after me, so he’ll obviously love you.”

I block Viktor with my body and hold his shoulder trying to keep him away but not opening my mouth to achieve it. The lie I told myself for years has been shattered when there was never any truth in it. It’s impossible for Dani to be his mother despite my hope for a miracle.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

Tali has a dumbass grin on his face and ignores me. “Come here Vik, I want to introduce you to my other half.”

Stupid cunt.

Dani doesn’t follow him, hiding around the corner and staring in the direction of his voice. She can’t see me looking through the window at the side. So fucking beautiful with a soft nervous smile on her face.The horse is a shithead and smacks me with its braided tail, I swear Inessa has weighted it so it causes more damage than it should.

But I don’t move as I watch the woman who has become even more in her absence. I held on to the memories when my life was falling apart. She may not have known I was watching her, but I could never tear my eyes away from her when she was working. She’d go into her own world,and she’s traded her usual paint splattered overalls for a dress. She’s made an effort and I sour, turning to look at my brother like I’d be able to find evidence of his wrongdoing. His clothes are the same and there’s no creases in them as he coaxes my son away from me.

I follow them under the guise of protectiveness when there’s nowhere safer with the guards on the property. Dani’s stink eye lands on me. The thin red mark on her neck hasn’t been fully covered under her make up and I shove my hands in my pockets, finding the necklace I ripped off her.She kept it, the one I gave her for her birthday is still there too. She kept them both, but she isn’t mine the way I wanted her to be, she didn’t stay, and she doesn’t look at me.

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