Page 43 of Vulnerate

“I’m on birth control, not that it matters to you seeing as it’s not a requirement. Don’t worry I’ll be getting tested since no one ever knows where you’ve been.”

Turning before I sink lower and let every horrible untruthful thought out of my head, I limp towards the bathroom, trying not to put pressure on the glass in my heel.The door slams behind me but it doesn’t release my frustration. I lower to sit on the edge of the tub and try to stop my heart from breaking waiting for him to leave. It wasn’t real love – I know it wasn’t. But it hurts more than any other pain I’ve felt.

Everyone knew how I felt about Val. Carly would tease me saying I’m only friends with Tali because I was obsessed with him. She fucking betrayed me, stealing from me wasn’t the first time. It’s when she slept with him knowing how I felt, knowing it would hurt me. My only safe space was in their house, and he destroyed it to get his dick wet.All this time I’ve spent worrying about her and she took the place I’d created in their home.

The front door clicks closed allowing my sobs free. All my regrets that followed me to sleep over leaving are taunting me. I fucking cried, missed him while he was playing happy families with my sister.That hurts more than if he was with someone else, it would be unrealistic to expect him not to when he couldn’t even do it when I was in front of him. But my stupid fucking heart convinced itself that there was some truth in our last moments together.

Fuck him. Fuck all of them. It’s the ultimate hurt and I pick the glass out of my feet before I rinse them off, only focusing on what I have control over. I won’t let my nephew suffer because he has shitty parents. The only family who are worth anything to me are my aunts and uncles. Every child deserves that same care of being loved and doted on. I blow out a breath whilst shaking my shoulders out. My face is splotchy and red, so I force the sobs away and splash cold water on my face. I’ll ring tio, he’s probably as rich as the Vartanov’s and as well connected so he’ll know what to do.

Stepping out of the bathroom my resolve doesn’t follow me with Vlad staring right at me. Valentin stands back allowing his big brother to clean up his messes like fucking always, pathetic fucking prick. Vlad looks at the wet patch on the floor where I’d thrown up, Val cleaned itbut the paper towels don’t cover the puddle on the rug. Vlad smirks and acts like a twat.

“I hope the vomit is the only bodily fluid in that puddle.”

He’s a fucking prick.

Going into the kitchen to find somewhere to hide my fear, he taps on the island three times and pushes a cheque towards me. “Write whatever you want, we’ve already given your worthless sister her share.”

Shame washes over me like I had any control over what Carly did. She sold her child like an object. Out of everything, that’s the worst of her sins. I find a pen and pull the blank cheque closer to fill in my demand before pushing it back.

SIXTEEN

Valentin

Dani is a good liar. Exceptional. The part of me that died when she disappeared fights to come to life, believing her fake ass bullshit. It grows in conviction when she tries to stop her cries. The door doesn’t mute the sound and it’s filled with nothing but pain. Moving forward to go to her, my phone vibrates with Vlad’s message that he’s here.

She can hate me all she wants but I’m not letting anyone take my son away from me. My biggest regret is my biggest blessing. I’d fuck Carly a thousand times, hating myself each time, if it meant I’d have Viktor. He’s my one bit of good, the only thing that stopped me spiraling and kept me afloat even when he’d fucking scream all night. Or I’d turn up on Vlad’s floor with tears in my eyes not knowing what to do, I wouldn’t change anything about my son.I don’t remember how he was created but I’ll burn before anyone tries to fucking get near him.

I drop all the towels in the trash and lay paper towels over the wet patch of the rug that she threw up on before going to the door to let Vlad inside. He looks around with an eyebrow raisedand laughs to himself seeing the wet patches on my t-shirt as he mouths,“You get pissed on again?”

Shaking my head in answer and exasperation, he stands in wait, tapping against his thigh. Dani openly sobs, her voice cracking and shrinking me to an inch tall. The person I remember isn’t who she is. My brain and heart don’t get that fucking memo and revolt against me.

Vlad turns his head to look at me with an accusation. I didn’t do shit to her, she’s done it to herself. The bathroom door opens and hearing her cry is one thing, but the redness on the tops of her cheeks as she steps out of the bathroom is so much fucking worse.She’s still beautiful, her hair is lighter around the edges of her face. As a teenager I was in awe of her beauty, as a man it’s more potent.

She tries to mask her fear and I fight a smile. She’s always been afraid of Vlad, most people are, but her shoulders are straight, and she ignores his dumbass comment. I stay back like a little bitch, hiding behind my brother because he can do what I can’t and insult her more than she already has been. Dani’s face falls as he slides a blank cheque towards her and I wait for her anger. She’s never gave a fuck about money; she grew up around wealth but didn’t care for it and used her art to pay her own way when it wasn’t necessary.

Yet she proves that I don’t know shit when it comes to Daniela Carvalho when she takes the fucking cheque.It’s what was going to happen, but I hate it. Each stroke of the pen is like nails going down a chalkboard. My sweet Dani, my artist, doesn’t exist anymore as she caps it and pushes the cheque back to Vlad. Flicking her eyes to me with nothing other than hate and disgust, she stands tall and crosses her arms over her chest, voicing her demand.

“It’s non-negotiable.”

Whatever figure she’s written has Vlad looking at her with pride and respect. Two things he doesn’t have for anyone.

He holds the cheque up between two fingers over his shoulder, so I can read it. Fear and joy war with each other at her demand. Where there should be a number she’s written in clear block capitals two words.

MY NEPHEW

This is the Dani I remember, who I thought I knew, the girl I loved. She was the person who gave her sister every chance she needed to bethere for her, sat with her when she was coming down off whatever binge she’d be on just so she wasn’t alone.

But she could be the Virgin Mary reincarnated and I’d slit the bitches throat before I let anyone take my kid away from me.

I leave before I do something I regret. I don’t give two fucks about their conversation. I’ve never been afraid of shit, but he’s my kid. Mine. He doesn’t have anyone else and I’m all he knows. I’ve fucked up and acted like an immature prick on countless occasions in his life and I’ll probably fuck up more before I die. The thought of not having my son is enough for me to see red.

I didn’t become an adult the day I turned eighteen, it was when I spent my first night alone with him. Thrown in the deep end without any help because I spent four months relying on Vlad to wake up in the middle of the night.My chest tightens like every single moment in his life when he’s not directly in front of me. I need to see him to know he’s safe and I race home.

I turn clingy as soon as I get in the house and begin searching for Viktor. The kid saved us all, not just me but my brothers too. He has more power in his little toe than the entire Bratva could dream of.Finding him in the lounge watching his language cartoons, I hug him to my side and kiss his head. He looks up at me with his brows together, he doesn’t try to practice his mean face and gives me his full attention.

“You’re being weird,” he whispers.

I’m being normal, we always watch movies and shit together. Pointing it out, he shakes his head and crosses his arms trying to be authoritative.

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