Page 40 of Vulnerate

We both promised to be each other’s best man/woman and I look at his hands as I answer. “Not married or some shit. This belonged to my dickhole ex, I forgot to burn it with the rest of his things.”

It’s as though no time has passed, and he pulls on my arm, forcing me to sit beside him. He throws his arm over my shoulders and a violent promise laces through his voice. “Did the cunt hurt you?”

Humiliation is worse than hurt. Sam wasn’t anything serious, he was just someone who managed to get my mind off Valentin for at least five minutes. Until he tried fucking my cousin and told me to my face that Isabella was always his first choice.Shaking the thoughts away, I give Tali a vague answer and change the topic.

“I saw Vlad, he said he was getting married.”

He drops the topic and starts telling me about his sister in law and recounts all the things I’ve missed. He skirts around the topic of Valentin, keeping it brief and looking away. He’s a terrible liar and there’s no chance he knows about my feelings for his brother, or he would be reiterating the fact our friendship means more. It’s something deeper, more significant, and my brain latches onto every possible scenario inhis silence. Dread weighs me down as I ask, “What about Val? Is he married, or has he got a fiancée too?”

I didn’t even check, I was too happy at finally being stood in front of him.Tali turns rarely serious, and his sadness mutes his usually bright eyes. “He doesn’t have anyone, it’s a bit complicated, and he’s probably pissed at you for not telling him.”

I didn’t have time to think before leaving, Carly’s bruised face was in front of me, shouting how they were going to kill her and then tio was there telling me to pack. I don’t even know the argument they had. It was just raised muffled voices until he told her that she’s no longer part of the family before driving away.Focusing on the rational Vartanov in front of me, I plead my case knowing he won’t be angry.

“I had an hour to pack my things,” I say and pull my sleeves over my hands. “My uncle was pissed, and he didn’t want to deal with the shit Carly had gotten herself involved in. I think she was high, she didn’t hear a single thing he said until he told her to fix her life before she ends up dead in a ditch.”

I don’t even know if my own sister is alive. She’s never tried to reach out apart from her boyfriend forging a letter pretending to be her and asking for money to go to rehab. If it was my choice I would have given it to them, told them to fucking choke on the bills for ruining everything when my life had already been turned upside down.

My best friend turns the TV on and flicks through the channels as he flippantly says, “Nah, she was going through withdrawals. She didn’t use while she was pregnant.”

Snatching the control from his hand, I throw it across the room. My sister was pregnant? She didn’t tell me. I have a niece or nephew? I’m an aunty. My voice comes out small under all the weird emotions thrumming through my veins. “She had a baby?”

He doesn’t answer and my body turns cold. There’s a little baby in the middle of her shit, an innocent child that had never done anything wrong but has the misfortune of having a greedy fucking coward for a mother. His own shock comes out and he scrubs a hand over his head, gripping his nape. “Fuck. You didn’t know? We thought that’s why you disappeared.”

Whatever his next thought is doesn’t get a voice and he pushes forward to hold my shoulders as his lips move but I can’t hear anything.I should have fucking stayed in Brazil, it was less confusing and at least that part of my life made some sense. This is just fucked up layers with more fuckery underneath. Kissing my head, he leaves like there’s a fire licking at his heels.

Tears burn the back of my throat at what state the kid could be in. The last thing the investigator told us was that Carly was living with an MC before she stole their drugs and tried to sell them out to their rivals. How the fuck was she so wrapped up in crime? Did she just fucking search ‘100 ways to fuck your own life up’ online and work her way through the list?

She can fuck her own life up as much as she wants but I’m not letting an innocent child pay for her fucking fun. Grabbing my laptop, I search through all the documents I’ve kept over the years. There’s no mention of her being pregnant, she disappeared for eighteen months and reappeared worse than ever.I don’t know what drugs she was on, but they’ve definitely become more destructive over the years. There’s only one person I have, and I grab my phone knowing he’s already had to bear the burden of my sister’s mistakes.

Tio answers with a smile in his voice asking about my showcase and I hate having to hurt him. “Did you know Carly was pregnant?”

The one thing I learnt and experienced from my extended family is love, a bond that they’ll never let break and his low curse is filled with regret before he shows his care.

“There was never anything mentioned in the reports I got. Do you know if the baby was okay?” he says it slowly not wanting to ask the real question that we’re both thinking.

The way she was living wasn’t healthy for her as an adult never mind a child who would have been relying on her not to be reckless.

I deflate and shrug. “I’ve just found out. My friend told me she was pregnant, but he didn’t mention anything about the baby.”

He doesn’t say anything as his footsteps move through his office and then keys tap in the background of his reassurance.

“I’ll look into it, don’t worry.”

Ending the call, I sit there staring at the wall. There are too many questions and no answers. I hate her for not telling me, if she did, I would have given her the money to raise her son without any issues. But she had to lie.

Searchingthrough any publicly reported births is a minefield. There’s nothing that sticks out when I don’t have a date, or sex or fucking anything. You can’t have a baby and not go to a hospital or have any record. It’s already dark outside and the low light from the lamp beside me casts a glare on my laptop screen as I continue searching any combination of names my sister could have used.

I don’t even know who the father of my own niece or nephew is. I’m assuming it’s Leno, but his name doesn’t bring any of his details up. I’ve heard stories about how kids grow up in group homes, feeling abandoned and unwanted. It’s not going to be the life of my niece or nephew. I’ve only just found out they exist, and I need to make sure they’re safe. If they’re in a stable, happy home I won’t take them from it, but I’ll make sure the option for extra family is there.

Frustration burns my eyes and I wipe the tears collecting on my lashes as my mind focuses on the negatives. The front door jolts and I turn, looking over the edge of the sofa towards it. It’s not a knock, whoever’s at my door pushes all of their force into their fist with one blow. It’s probably Tali, pissed at whatever information he ran off to find and I wipe at my eyes again as I go to open it.The chain rattles from the force of the second knock.

“I’m coming, give me a second you impatient shithead,” I shout through the door.

As soon as I turn the lock it flies open and rage stares back at me. Valentin pushes forward with his nostrils flared and his fists clenched. His questioning is the last fucking thing I need right now.

“Did you fuck him?”

Pushing against his chest, my voice is too high pitched with all the emotions coursing through me. “Get out, you’re an asshole.”

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