Page 4 of Vulnerate

I look to the side and ignore the movie playing, contemplating whether to say my idea out loud. No, he’ll end up getting excited and then I’ll feel worse knowing he’s stuck with me all night, so I lean into Tali’s side and watch the movie. When it gets to the sad part, I nudge his ribs and look up to see if there’s any tears. He’s heartless and doesn’t even sniffle as he throws popcorn into his mouth. To stop my own emotions, I focus on the lack of his and scoff, “You’re cold, how are you not crying?”

The light from the TV only shows half his face as he turns to face me, and he sticks his bottom lip out. “Oh no, it’s so sad, they fell in love but now she’s dead.”

He laughs.Asshole. I elbow him again and he wipes his buttery fingers on my cheek.

I wish I was attracted to Vitali, instead of his brother. Life would be easier. We spend all of our time together and he’s my favorite person, but it’s Valentin I want to be sat next to, his bed I want to sleep in and his arms I want to hide in while we watch horror movies.I can’t imagine it being the same though, he always hurts people in the most public way. I look towards the window as footsteps move at the side of the house, I can’t see their shoes or hide the hope in my voice as I whisper, “I think Val’s home.”

Tali grabs my shoulders and looks into my eyes, turning serious.

“Why did you say it like that?” He continues staring at me and repeats the line he always gives when it comes to his brother. “Don’t even think about it Dani, his dick is fucking cursed.”

My face pinches in the middle and I pull myself out of his hands as I lie to both of us. “I don’t think about his dick, or your brother at all. I just thought he walked past.”

He doesn’t lose his look of accusation as he throws me a face wipe and cuts my movie short for his own.

“You better not, or I’ll have to beat the shit out of him,” he says.

I try to stop my laugh, but it turns into a snicker, and he snaps his head in my direction. The wipe doesn’t help me hide it as I clean his buttery fingerprints from my skin, and it turns into a squeal when I’m abruptly pinned on my stomach. My hands are held behind my back and the fat shit sits on me as he tickles me.

“Get off me. Your fat ass is squashing my lungs.”

The high pitched giggling is forced out and he presses more of his weight into me as he refuses.

“Stop laughing and I’ll stop.”

There’s a loud thud outside the door and we both freeze. Tali doesn’t move off me, he pushes me further into the sheets and stares through the wall like he can see through it, sounding older as he orders, “Stay here.”

I turn, expecting someone to grab him when he jumps up and goes through the door, but he loses the violence as he steps outside cursing, “You’re a dick, you scared Dani.”

Val’s voice is strained as he says, “You’re only pissed because she stopped fucking you.”

My entire body flames and I sink into the sheets to make myself smaller at the sound of metal clangs hitting the ground. I know there’s a gym set up opposite Tali’s room, but no one ever uses it when I’m here.

Val turns even crueler, and I flinch at the harsh tone filtering through the open door. “Remember to wrap up, or you’ll have little brats running around. No one else is going to look after your bastard kid.”

There’s a thud and Tali’s voice is deadly. “Watch your mouth, she’s family.”

One pair of footsteps move through the hallway, and I snap my eyes closed as they continue cursing at each other. Blindly stretching to the side, I find Tali’s headphones and put them on so I can pretend I don’t hear them arguing.

There’s nothing playing to drown him out as he walks back in the room and slams the door closed. He allows the lie as he throws himself on the bed beside me, ripping the headphones off me, and he doesn’t mention anything. The usual playfulness is back as he rests against the headboard and wraps his arm around my shoulders while restarting his horror movie. It’s never awkward between us until someone assumes we’re together. He doesn’t act like that though, it’s me who keeps a gap between our bodies and becomes hyperaware of the fact I’m lying in a boy’s bed.

It disappears when I look up to the side of his face fully engrossed in the screen. I’m not attracted to him, so it won’t ever be a problem. I relax, forgetting his preference for the vilest things a person can watch. It’s always bloody and gruesome. Some of them are banned in the US so I don’t know how he finds the movies and manages to hide them from his older brother, even Carly isn’t irresponsible enough to let me watch the banned slashers. The intro isn’t any easier to watch and I pull the sheets over my head to force myself to go to sleep. A warm hand strokes over my face as he stops the bloody flickers coming through the material and protectively shifts closer to me.

Every partof my body is overheating with the furnace wrapped around me. Tali grumbles in his sleep as I try to lift his arm off me, and he hooks his leg over mine, keeping me in place and tightening the sheets around me. He never sleeps under the covers with me and always tangles them with how much he moves.There are no lights on in the room so he’s dead to the world and making me sweat as he forces me to remain tucked against his chest.

I nudge his chin with my forehead, and he twitches. Doing it again, he loosens up enough to let me go. The Vartanov’s house is always warm, and no windows are allowed to be opened when you’re sleeping; some security thing with Vlad being involved with criminals. I pause at the door listening to see if there’s anyone outside. They all have their own floors, but I’m going to die from dehydration, and I don’t want to get caught.

I slowly walk down the hall when I don’t hear anyone moving and avoid the squeaky floorboards. I’ve memorized which ones they are and could walk the path from the kitchen to Tali’s room with my eyes closed. Using the hidden staircase rather than the main one that leads into the hallway, I walk up the stairs, skipping the one that creaks. I’m about to step into the kitchen when I hear two pairs of footsteps. No one ever tells me I can’t stay, and Vlad seems to know when I’m here because there’ll always be a third bowl of cereal on the table when I wake up and he never acts surprised to see me. But he’s the thing that goes bump in the night, the monster under the bed, and he’s terrifying.

I hide behind the wall in the small hallway between the top of the basement stairs and the kitchen to eavesdrop on his conversation with Valentin.

“I don’t give a fuck what you do, just be here for two days,” Vlad says.

Ice clinks and a chair scrapes against the tile. I want to see him, and the shadows help me hide as I poke my head around the corner. The kitchen is bright, but the large pantry door is open, keeping me in the shadows as he sits at the island. Val’s black hair is all messed up when it’s usually styled to perfection and there’s a cut on his lip matching the redness on his cheek. Vlad wraps ice in a cloth sliding it across the islandbefore he stands across from his brother who is looking in my direction, but he can’t see me. His knuckles are scraped from whoever he had a fight with, he’s still angry and a bit drunk when his words slur together. “Can’t I stay at Dima’s? I hate them, they’ll just be dicks and try to get me and Tali to fight.”

The entire time I’ve known them, they’ve never fought each other seriously. They’ll curse at one another or argue but never come to blows. Someone pushed me over and they both fought together not against each other. There’s only two people that Val hates – his parents. I’ve heard him say he wishes they were dead and everyone at school thinks they’re orphans, but neither of the brothers correct them.

Vlad laughs and shakes his head. “You want to stay with your little girlfriend, not Dima. It’s not happening.”

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