Page 71 of Viparious

Val thinks the twinges are due to fear and seeing what Vlad was capable of. All of us watched in horror as he literally ripped his father apart. But it’s not, I wasn’t afraid of him. I’m not afraid of him. That was pure emotion, grief, and pain fueling his action. In that moment he was a human being.

My eyes open and he’s still here. Icy eyes full of pain, but he’s still here. His little finger is the size of both of my thumbs, and he keeps both of his swollen hands out of my reach. I won’t cry again. I’ve cried more in the last three days than I have in my life. Dani is probably sick of wiping my tears and Ana has started leaving the room whenever they burst out.I’m surprised she hasn’t threatened me to get them to stop but she’s more caring than she allows people to know.

The door opens and Vlad takes a step back as Vitali steps into the room. He doesn’t look at either of us and turns with tension entering his jaw. Why is he so determined to be an island? I don’t understand why he’s so closed off, so fucking stubborn. He can grieve and it will hurt to hear him speak about someone else, but I can’t change history.

Tali dumps snacks on the table in an effort to get me to eat. I can’t when it feels like I’m choking, and he tries to make me forget.

“How’s my niece doing today?” He’s so full of joy speaking to my belly and acts like he can hear her response. “Oh yeah, you’re going to be my little wing woman aren’t you? Gotta find a beautiful auntie for you.”

Kissing my head after he’s done with his one-sided conversation, he doesn’t mention the tension Vlad left in the room.He keeps doing this, sitting with me, and talking shit while ignoring the fact my face is fucked up to match my life.

He relaxes beside me on the bed, and I shift to let him put his bad leg up. He carefully pulls me to his side and turns, rarely serious.

“How you doing?”

I don’t know why, but I laugh and shake my head. “Like your dad just tried to kill me, and then Vlad acts like I don’t exist.”

I know he wants to defend his brother, I do it with myself. There’s something about Vlad that’s deeper, maybe it’s because he doesn’t hide his evil that it actually becomes endearing.

Tali’s voice is slow, hesitant, not betraying whatever secrets he knows as he rests his cheek on my hair.

“He’s been through some shit in his life. It’s not a justification, just an explanation of why he acts the way he does.” His voice lowers to a whisper filled with emotion. “He doesn’t let himself be happy. I don’t think he knows how to.”

That’s what makes it worse, Vlad tortures himself internally because he thinks he doesn’t deserve anything.

Letting out a long breath, he gives me a sad smile and continues, “I think you made him happy, and it scares the shit out of him, but you’ve got to do what you need to. For you and Vitalia.”

I relax and gently nudge his ribs at his attempt to name my daughter after him. The twinge gets more intense and sweat beads down my spine as I scream out. This isn’t a normal pain. My body is being pulled apart by my stomach. Tali nearly falls off the bed as he strokes my hair back with panic consuming him.

“Fuck, what am I supposed to do?”

I can’t speak as I see my stomach physically contort. He notices it too, sheer terror making him lose color and he runs out of the room speaking over his shoulder, “I’ll get the doctors.” The door doesn’t even close as he shouts over the threshold, “She needs a doctor. Now.”

He turns with a face of thunder and authority as a doctor rushes in behind him. I’m not having my baby now, it’s too early. She’s too small and it won’t be safe for her.

The room fills up faster than I can count them. I can’t see their faces and my head pushes into the pillows as I scream. It’s all too fast and everyone is talking over each other, and I can’t breathe.

Why can’t I fucking breathe?

There’s too much noise, from people talking to the machines beeping, and my heart slamming against my ribs. It hasn’t been this bad since Val first brought me here. The bleeding stopped though, and they said she was safe. Fear fills me and it’s choking me.

The doctors and nurses crowd around me. They’re trying to help, but I need air and they’re taking it. Focusing on the bland ceiling, my cheeks are warm, and my lungs rattle. I’m going to die. It doesn’t matter who my grandfather is or how much money we have, I’ll die because my body can’t take in air like it’s designed to. Len failed only to fucking kill me days later.

But she’s too small, and she won’t survive without me yet.

I look around the room for someone to help me, to see me, but I’m alone. There’s no one here, even Tali has disappeared, leaving me with a bunch of people I don’t fucking know. I don’t want them. I just want someone to make it all go away and make sure my daughter will be okay. Something wet touches my thighs and a sob scrapes my throat.

No.

I’m bleeding again.

I can’t, she’s too small.

I can’t hear whatever is said to me as my arms come up to block it all out. She’s not ready yet and I can’t lose her before I’ve even held her. I made her a promise to protect her, to never leave her alone. Someone is telling me I need to calm down, but I can’t, it’s too much. My heart is going to give out.

“Mrs. Vartanova, you’re making your condition worse.”

There’s no care in their voice and I scream around my sobs as the pain intensifies. The monitors beep erratically, adding to my torment.

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