Page 113 of Viparious

No one tells you that breastfeeding hurts like a bitch. The little leaflets tell you the benefits, but they don’t mention the tenderness in the tissue or how, at one point, I was sure my nipple was going to fall off before Dani gave me a balm that she’d found online. Fucking pricks, if men had to go through childbirth, they’d be giving out the information to anyone who would listen. It wouldn’t be painted as something pretty and filled with rainbows. If blood and pain are considered masculine, then childbirth is the most masculine thing to exist.

Throwing my phone on the bed, I give Vlad my undivided attention.

“How do you know everything when you were ignoring me?”

There’s no hiding the accusation. He shouldn’t know anything without begging at my feet for the information. Massaging across my stomach with one hand, he does the same to my scalp and almost looks apologetic.

“You kept a log of everything on your phone, and you’d talk to yourself when you couldn’t sleep.”

I remember the nights laying there in the dark as Verena wriggled away. I wasn’t talking to myself as the dickhead thinks, just voicing my thoughts so I didn’t feel lonely.

Rather than admit that,I take advantage of his openness.

“Why do you let everyone see you as a monster, even your family?”

He is backwards as fuck; he wears his crimes openly and doesn’t correct the false accusations against his name. But he hides everything good about himself, covers it in blood so no one can see just how bright it is. He’s like a fairytale forest — deep, dark, and twisted. Until you get to the center and see flowing rivers and a beautiful meadow.

His voice is low, so low I have to strain my ears to pick up the words as he says, “Better the monster than the vulnerable child.”

My heart breaks and I’m sure the sound is audible in the room as tears well against my lashes.

He leans over me and smiles, full of violence and showing his preference for it.

“Don’t think I’m anything but the devil, meelaya.”

It carries into his voice, but I’ll never be afraid of him. I sigh and stretch, getting comfortable.

“You’re a teddy bear, lapachka.” He moves back in disgust as I pat his cheek and continue to stop him feeling insulted. “One out of a horror movie that’s come to life and kills everyone, still a teddy bear, though.”

He drags me up to sit between his thighs, leaning against his chest and kisses my neck. Clearly not wanting me to talk anymore, he smooths his hand down my stomach and traces a line over my panties. I live to disappoint, and my voice is husky, repeating our earlier conversation.

“I want you to wear a ring in public.”

Humming against my pulse point, the vibration has my toes curling and he increases the pressure between my thighs.

Vlad got on his knees for me, something he doesn’t do for anyone or anything. If he drops something on the floor, he’d rather dig out the ground than lower himself. But he acts like a prick about a piece of metal.

“Why?” he asks.

Scraping his teeth against my skin turns my brain to mush, and I clench my thighs around his hand, wanting more.

But he’s an infuriating man and holds my inner thighs, prying them apart and positioning them on the outside of his. Raising his knees so I can’t move, he repeats himself and stokes my jealousy.

“Why, meelaya? Does it bother you if someone is talking to me?”

Yes.

Vlad is openly violent. He looks at everyone like he wants to kill them and those are the people he can tolerate being around. That should be the deterrent, but that bitchy receptionist had to be brave and attracted to danger.

My voice hardens despite his soft lips pressing into my neck as I dig my nails into his thighs in warning.

“She wasn’t talking, it was flirting, and she was eye fucking you. Stupid bitch.”

As though my anger is positive, he rewards me and moves my panties to the side. I don’t mention his game about making me crawl. The first stroke of his fingers through my slit are bliss until he opens his mouth.

“What happened to your female empowerment speech? Women are meant to support each other and all that shit?”

Turning to look at him, I dig my nails in harder at the smirk on his face. Staring into his icy eyes with my own murderous thoughts on display, I spit out, “I’ll support any woman as long as she’s not trying to be empowered on my husband’s dick.”

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