Page 124 of Viripotent

Something jostlesmy body and I choke, remembering to breathe. Coughing despite breathing fine while being unconscious, I’m sat up and a cold glass is pushed into my hand.

“Take small sips,” Val says from behind me.

I blink, trying to clear my vision to see Tali stood beside the sofa. His tight-lipped smile shows he doesn’t like whatever happened and I knock the glass away, remembering what their brother did.

He’s nowhere in sight and I’m home. Laid in the lounge and propped up with Val at my back. I swing my feet down, seeing they even removed my shoes, but I hate them for going along with their dickhead brother. Ignoring the dumb fucks calling my name, I take the stairs two at a time. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do, but it’s not sitting around waiting for Vlad to come back.

Reaching our floor, I stop in my tracks outside his private office. If Vlad wants to be a neurotic cunt having control of everything, then I’ll fuck with the one place he doesn’t bend. Pushing the door open with a smile, I look around the boring space trying to decide what to do. There’s nothing of any value and my steps are exploratory as I move closer to the desk. All the wires are hidden and there are no papers. It’s just a desk, chair, and two screens.

There are no drawers to hide anything else. I round the desk and I deflate, slumping in his seat. It’s just two wide legs with asingle piece of wood facing me. How the fuck is he so secretive in his fucking hiding place? He has trust issues for his trust issues.

My foot hits something under the desk as I slowly turn side to side in the seat and I pause. There’s nothing that screams at me and looking down it’s just a kick button. Then it all changes and everything comes to life with sickening images.

There’s a boy on the screen. He can’t be more than six or seven years old with blood dripping down his chin, his eyes are wild, and he looks crazed. A happy anger burning through icy eyes I would recognize anywhere. Clicking on the play button in the center of his face, I lean forward, not understanding what horror film was recorded.

There’s no sound and I can’t imagine Vlad as the subdued child stood swaying on his feet. There’s no blood on his face yet, bruises on top of bruises cover his little body and bile rises up in my throat at the reason for him to be naked in what looks like a home movie. It’s all shaky as the person recording moves closer to him, but the quality has been enhanced. He looks up at whatever is said to him, I’m even more confused at the weird expression. I’ve never seen him, or anyone, stare like they don’t know anything. It’s like he’s locked away in his mind and there’s not even enough control to keep his eyes open.

My stomach rolls when it continues and the grown man who is recording undoes his belt. I push back when I can’t stop the bile coming up my throat. It lands on the floor and tears burn my eyes. The stupid fucking liquid doesn’t let me see clearly to stop it playing out, and this is what dying must feel like. Closing my eyes like it will stop it being a reality doesn’t help. It just has the image on my lids of a grown fucking man forcing a boy on his knees.

I don’t know how long it’s been playing, but it feels like an eternity, and I open my eyes to see how that boy became the devil everyone is afraid of. His eyes are open fully like he’sjust been dropped into his little body, and I flinch, feeling the blows landing to the top of his skull. Holding my mouth closed to mute my sobs doesn’t dull them, and it doesn’t stop me throwing up. My stupid fucking comment about biting his dick off and thinking he was weird for telling me about the physics is haunting me.He looks crazed as each blow lands on his crown—punches, elbows. It doesn’t deter him, even when fingers grip his hair with such force I can see the strands leaving his scalp, he keeps his jaw clamped shut.

There must be another person with them, a woman, but their face is cut off. Long nails dig into his neck as they choke him. The room is filled with people, adults who were all hurting him, and he fights them all to protect himself. They grab his arms, one grown adult tugging on each limb, and the woman does the same to his legs as he continues to take blow after blow to his skull. But he doesn’t stop.

Gripping the edge of the desk, I don’t sit up, not daring to see anything more. He’s a boy, innocent and made to fight back when he should have been protected. My head is between my knees and the lights from the screens go off showing how long I’ve been hiding for. But I can’t move. My entire body is frozen in fear of triggering them coming back and having to see his innocence stolen.

I sob harder, remembering every fucked up conversation or cryptic thing he’s said, his need to reassure me he won’t force himself on me. Vlad isn’t the devil, he’s an angel, like the angel of death. Everyone associates him with evil but he’s not, he’s just wrapped around other people’s sins, and we wrongly assign him the blame.

I shakily straighten to my full height and the video is still playing. He spits out the blood as the abuser drops, taking the camera lens with him, but he doesn’t stop staring at it. He has blood on his teeth, dripping down his chin, but he smiles widely.This is the Vlad I know. The hurt child who found out the only way to stay safe was by hurting everyone around him.

Like my thoughts have conjured him, Vlad’s voice is emotionless coming from the door.

“What are you doing in here?”

My breath shakes in my lungs as I slowly turn to face him, and I can’t stop my jaw from quivering. The only thing I can do is something I’ve never done before, something I never thought I would.

“I’m sorry.”

My voice cracks, stopping me from continuing as a sob works up my throat bringing more acid with it.

I fold in half, and it joins the deposits on the floor. I need to apologize for everything. It’s not for what other people did but what I did. I shouldn’t have fucking invaded his space. He already had his boundaries crossed and I’m doing it for petty fucking payback. He rounds the desk and gives me a subdued smile as he picks me up with his arm under my knees.

I cling to him, my fingers twisting in his t-shirt as he ignores my hiccups and tears.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come in here,” I hiccup through the apology.

He presses his lips to my forehead before I can give him my other apology for ruining the carpet. His palm flattens over my ear, and he threads his fingers through the hair at my temple, massaging my scalp as he carries me away from his biggest secret that I wish he didn’t have.

FORTY-SIX

Inessa

Sitting on our bed that he’s slept in once, Vlad rocks me while I continue sobbing. There’s no comment about my snot, even though I know it’s probably soaking into his chest through his t-shirt. I blow out a watery breath to get myself under control. It takes three attempts. He doesn’t need to console me for knowing the truth.

My eyes burn as I look up and wipe at my face, but he stares at my nose.

“You missed a bit, meelaya.”

My laugh is all air, and it turns into sound when he continues.

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