Page 104 of Viripotent

I pull her closer and loosely hold her hips to kiss the center of her chest in apology. She’s standing between my legs and the right words don’t come out.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

The fact she’s still naked shows her trust, but the pain in her eyes tells me it’s a lie. She strokes across my shoulders and a gentle whisper leaves her.

“You didn’t hurt me. I’m worried about you, not myself.”

That’s going to be her biggest downfall, caring about someone as tainted as me when there’s no soul she can save.

Holding her tighter because she chases away the previous images, I just breathe. Part of my fucked-up brain wants cake, knowing the last time I ate it on Viktor’s birthday I threw up. I’ll have the same reaction again, but having control over some flour, butter, and sugar is a need. I’m not a weak fucking kid, I’m feared and deadly. No fucker can control me when I’m the biggest cunt there is.

Inessa brushes my hands off her hips and curls up on my thigh. She keeps her hands on me and lays her head on my shoulder. Like she can sense my thoughts, her sleep-filled voice makes me relax, knowing she agrees.

“Don’t leave me alone again, you’re my monster,” she says softly.

Kissing her temple, I wrap her in my arms, so she doesn’t get cold. There’s a blanket in the desk drawer for the nights I sleep here, but I don’t want to give her that information yet and I’ll wait until she’s fully asleep to drape it around her.My lips don’t leave her as her eyes slowly close.

I hate the silence and as always she breaks it, even on the brink of sleep.

“Let me in Vlad, I promise to be here for you.”

My skin crawls as she strokes her fingers through my hair.

Turn your pain into power.

Her soft voice brushes my jaw, and she continues begging without saying please.

“I don’t want you to hurt or be alone. I think we’re going to be friends and just so you know, I’m a really good friend.”

She’s cute as fuck with her cheek pushed in against my shoulder, but she’s also a liar. I know one of her friends and she dropped Anastasia when they were teenagers.

But I don’t burst her bubble and stroke her hair back away from her face as I press my lips to the center of her forehead.

“Go to sleep, meelaya, I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Combing my fingers through her hair near her temple, I flatten my palm to cover her ear and gently massage her scalp.

I can’t force my body to move and lay her in bed. There will be blood on the sheets, and I’ll only break my promise to leave her. Resting my cheek on her temple, I block her vision and go back to my search. The video of me at seven is nothing compared to five. It took me two fucking years to learn to fight back, that dumb fucking kid was weak as fuck. Naïve and stupid. The only resemblance between me and him is in our features. He has hope in his eyes and it’s like a flicker book positioning each viewing window side by side so I can see the stills. The black edge shows my reflection, adding me to the graduating line up from hopeful innocence to angry realization to whatever the fuck I am now.

I don’t even know what I am, I just exist.

I hold my wife, hoping she doesn’t see this shit and knock my foot off the modified kill switch as everything shuts down, suspending us into darkness. My head drops back against the seat, and I stare up into the void that’s created on the ceiling. The moon should be out, and I beg.

Don’t be ashamed of me, solnyshkuh. That isn’t me. Don’t watch what I do.

FORTY

Vlad

My new stress ball was hated at birth. Who the fuck names their kid Ronald? It’s setting them up for failure, maybe not to be a pervert but still failure none the less. His house is as pathetic as the man himself. There are countless books with dust layering the tops, all proudly displayed, but they’ve never even been opened. He must have some form of social life if he’s out on a Tuesday night. Checking my watch, it’s already 11:15pm. Ronald wouldn’t find the type he’s attracted to at this time and if he does, people need to watch their fucking kids.

Going through the rest of his staged life, his fridge is even more pathetic. There’s half a block of cheese and a jar of what looks like peanut butter. Who the fuck keeps it in the fridge? Weird fucking cunt. The inconsiderate bastard is late for his appointment with death and there’s not even a drink to offer the reaper.

I can’t even kill him straight away. Not with this clown having new footage. His gloating over everyone being able to see what made the seven-year-old with blood dripping down his chin shows he’s too fucking close to one of the fuckers whorecorded everything to sell. There are no ties to Russia, but everyone hides that shit and the key scraping in the lock stops my musings.

I stick to the wall and wait for dirty old Ronald to step through. His footsteps drag and he curses under his breath as none of the lights turn on despite the rapid clicking of the switch. My sight has adjusted to the dark, but the dumb fuck is drunk, taking the fun away as he stumbles through. Stopping right in front of me as his senses scream danger, I can’t help myself and lean forward.

“Boo!”

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