Page 103 of Viripotent

“And you’re a very special boy because you have something that’s worth a lot of money to help your papa and me.”

I don’t have money; I have my marbles, but they were someone else’s before I took them. I’ll give mama the marbles if it helps her.

Her eyes are weird and she taps the ash on the side of my plate. I watch it roll, hoping it doesn’t touch my ptichye moloko. But she pulls my hair because I wasn’t looking at her and I quickly sit straight and try not to look at the ash. It hurts when I sit taller, but she’ll be angry if I tell her so I bite my teeth to hide it.

“Did you like me doing your bath?” she asks.

I nod and quickly blink so I can check the ash. It touches my spoon. It’s okay, I can use my fingers.

“Do you like when mama carries you?”

I nod again.

“What about hugs? Do you like hugs, Vlad?”

I nod slower because I don’t know if that’s a weakness.

But she smiles and nods with me. Her fingers go through my hair again and she pulls on the towel, making it slip. She’s pretty when she smiles, and I smile back telling her.

“You’re pretty.”

Her smile goes weird. It’s not nice anymore, and she taps more ash on the plate before she asks questions again.

“Do you know what it means when you find someone pretty?”

I don’t answer because I don’t know the answer. Papa said you shouldn’t let people know that you don’t know things.

My stomach hurts and it gets worse when mama looks at me. Her eyes are darker, and she looks scary.

“It means you’re a big strong man, like your papa. You want to be like your papa, don’t you?”

I nod, I know the answer and my bum hurts when I sit taller.

“I’m going to be a Vor. Papa said I have to be strong like him.” She takes a big puff of her cigarette and I hide in the clouds from her mouth to check my cake.

Yes!

The ash hasn’t touched it, I get to keep it. I quickly move the spoon so it’s a wall and Mama smiles. It’s the nice smile and I do it back, liking it.

“You’ll be a good boy for your mama won’t you, Vlad?” She doesn’t say my name in the nice way, and I nod, holding the plate closer with both hands so I can keep my cake.

“Yes, mama,” I whisper and the plate shakes from how hard I’m holding it.

Present

My laugh bubblesout of me and I can’t stop it. The bitch fed me cake every fucking morning and I know why now. Fuck me, people think I take shit too seriously, they should spend five minutes with Anika and see her commitment to a lie. At least I now know my origin story and why I can’t fucking stand cake. Even down to the smell.

A small, unsure voice has my body turning rigid.

“Vlad? Are you okay?”

Inessa stands at the door, not stepping foot inside, respecting my privacy without the lock as the image plays out of someone violating my boundaries before I even knew what the fuck they were. I can’t stop laughing. It’s ironic, and she looks scaredfor me — not of me.

Closing all the tabs, I shake the thoughts away while they cling to me, refusing to let go.

“I’m fine, meelaya.”

My voice is strange to my own ears, and she takes a step forward. She doesn’t look away from me and there’s no wince or dead eyes as she walks towards me. She tries to stop intrigue letting her sneak a look at the screen as she keeps me in focus and rounds the desk.

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