Page 40 of Beautifully Broken Control

“Is that the technical diagnosis?”

She smiled, and it felt like a physical blow. I thought I’d seen her smile before, at Jensen or Lizzie or Anna, but I hadn’t. Nothing like this. It was full and unabashed and so damn beautiful it almost hurt to look at her. “It means he likes you. He gifted you with his drool.”

I swallowed hard, trying to clear my throat. “I’ll try to remember that.”

Kennedy’s feet shuffled against the pavement. “I need to head up. I’ve got an early day tomorrow.”

“I’ll be by in the morning to finish the system and show you how it works.”

“No sensors that are going to blow me or Chuck up if we step on the wrong floorboard, right?”

“Chuck?” Who the hell was Chuck?

She laughed. “Mr. Drool.”

The tension that had seeped into my muscles eased. “You and Mr. Drool are safe from spontaneous combustion.”

Kennedy swept a hand over her brow. “Phew.”

“Goodnight, Kenz.”

Her gaze met mine. “Goodnight, Cain.”

I watched as she unlocked the door, waited until I heard the deadbolt slide back into place, and even longer until I saw a light come on upstairs. She was home. Safe.

I climbed into my Rover and hit a button on my console. “Call Murphy.”

It rang a few times before someone answered. “Cain, how are you? It’s been too long.”

I headed down the alley and turned towards home. “I’m sorry for calling so late.”

“It’s not even nine. And you know you can call anytime you need.”

I did. And that, in and of itself, was a gift. “Something happened.”

“Are you all right?” The sound of a door closing came across the line.

“I’m fine. I just…something triggered me.” More like someone.

“Walk me through it.”

I started with what had brought me to Sutter Lake, all that had happened at my company, being back with Tuck and Walker, and finally meeting Kennedy. “I don’t know. I just get the impression that she’s hiding from something, and when I saw her getting ready to ride that bike home all by herself, it flipped something in me.”

Murphy cleared his throat. The sound was so familiar, one I’d heard session after session. “How long has it been since you spent any real time in a small town or any place similar to where you grew up?”

“Not more than a couple of days since I buried Kiara.” There was that burn at the back of my throat again at the mention of her name.

“I want to acknowledge that in and of itself. Places hold power, memories, reminders. I think it says a lot that you’re facing all of that. Especially given everything that burying your mother must have brought up.”

I blew out a harsh breath. “But I’m losing it. I wanted to wire this girl’s—someone I barely know, by the way—apartment like it was the Pentagon. I wanted to buy her a car. I’ve only known her for a couple of weeks.”

Something tapped in the background, most likely a pen against Murphy’s desk. “Kiara had a bike that she rode everywhere. Didn’t she?”

My jaw turned to granite, so rock-hard I thought it might crack. Visions assailed me. A teal bike with a woven basket. I’d even gotten one of those silly bells to put on it. I couldn’t afford to buy her a car, so I’d gotten her a damn bike. “She did.” My voice was ragged, as though I’d just smoked a full pack of cigarettes.

“Placesanditems hold power, Cain. Cut yourself some slack. I think you’re doing remarkably well.” Murphy paused for a moment, seeming to choose his words carefully. “I don’t think it would hurt to start up our sessions again, however. We can do them over the phone.”

I swallowed hard. “I don’t want this to turn into another situation like Janie.”

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