Page 35 of Further To Fall

Taylor sucked in a slow breath. “I would say, yes.”

“If that’s true, then it’s super shitty of him to use my roommate to get off. I haven’t kidded myself into thinking he’s been celibate for the past year, but he’s never rubbed my face in it, never hit on one of my friends. I always convinced myself that he just wasn’t ready for a relationship with all he has going on, but that when hewas—”

“He’d choose you?” Taylor finished for me.

I worried my bottom lip with my teeth. “Yes. I hate that I was so naïve. I was living over in dreamland, making up this whole story in my mind about why Austin hadn’t made a move. It’s pathetic.”

Taylor leaned and patted my knee. “It’s not pathetic. You fell in love with someone, and you hoped he felt the same. Every girl on the face of the planet has been there. And, to be honest, I feel like Austin has been a bit selfish. I think, on some level, he knew that if he was honest with you about not wanting a romantic relationship, you would pull back, and he didn’t want to lose the comfort of having someone always there to support him. It’s like he got all the benefits of being in a relationship without having to commit to one. You met all his emotional needs, and he found random girls to fulfill his physical ones.”

I groaned, leaning my head back to stare at the ceiling. “No matter what the reasons are, I need some time and space away from Austin. Because if I keep spending this much time with him, I’ll never fall out of love with him. Which means, I’ll die a ninety-seven-year-old virgin, while he’s out screwing half of LA.”

Taylor chuckled into her mug. “Do you really think you can walk away from him?”

“I have to. I want to meet someone who can love me back. I want to get married and have kids one day. I can’t do that if I stay stuck in this place.”

“Fair enough.”

I started chewing on my bottom lip again at the thought of not having Austin in my everyday life. “It’s not like it’s forever, it’s just until I can get over him.”

“That might take longer than you think.”

“Yeah, but I have to try. I’m going to see if he can meet for breakfast.” I reached for my phone so I could text Austin before I lost my nerve.

“Doing it in person? Wow, you really have lady balls.”

I stuck out my tongue at her and powered on my phone. “Oh, shitake mushrooms.” My head popped up, and I met Taylor’s eyes. “I have thirty-eight missed texts.”

She rose, taking her coffee cup to the kitchen. “This is going to be one interesting breakfast.”

Austin

I groanedat the pounding in my head and the taste of death on my tongue. Opening my eyes, it took a few moments to realize where I was—the guest room at Liam’s house. Thank God. I rolled into a sitting position and pushed myself to my feet. Everything was just a bit fuzzy, I didn’t even remember coming back here last night. I glanced around, looking for my phone and keys, but didn’t see either so I went in search of Liam.

I found him in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “Looking for this?” He held up my cell phone.

I grunted. “That and some coffee. Why do you have my cell?”

Liam sipped his coffee, just staring at me for a moment. “Because you wouldn’t stop calling and texting Carter. Thanks for ruining my birthday, by the way.”

Icy cold dread slid over my body as images from last night came crashing back: taking shots with the boys, Lexi cornering me in the office, Lexi unbuttoning my pants, Carter walking in, the shock on her face, the tears in her eyes, running after her, taking more shots when she wouldn’t answer my calls. Fuck, I was a bastard. “I’m an asshole.”

Liam’s knuckles bleached white as he gripped his mug. “Yes, yes you are. I almost punched you last night.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t.”

“Fuck, man, of all the chicks in the greater Los Angeles area, you pick her roommate? Were you trying to crush her?” The silence in the kitchen was deafening. “You know she’s in love with you, don’t you?” I didn’t say a word. “And you’re in love with her.”

I jerked back. “I am not.”

“Bullshit.” Liam set his cup down with a crack.

“I’m not. Or I can’t be. What I know for sure is I don’t want to be in a relationship.” I pulled at my hair as I started to pace.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” More silence. “Fine, man. If that’s true, then you have to let her go. Don’t keep stringing her along, letting her think there’s hope.”

My head snapped up, and I stopped in my tracks. Let her go? Fuck, no. “We’re just friends, we’ve never hooked up.” That one kiss didn’t count as hooking up, even if it had set my blood on fire. Even if nothing I had done over the past two weeks had been able to erase the memory of that handful of seconds. I pushed on, ignoring the pang in my chest. “You’re friends with her, are you going to let her go?”

Liam shook his head. “I’ve seen you two together. You don’t act like just friends.”

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