Page 62 of Further To Fall

My shoes echoed on the stones as I walked up the path. The noise sounded empty, just like I felt. Unlocking the front door, I pushed inside. “Wifey, Blue, I’m home.”

“We’re in the kitchen,” Taylor called.

Blue took off running towards me, almost knocking me over when he collided with my legs. He was getting so big. “Hi, baby, I missed you so much today! Were you a good boy? I bet you were.” I had bitten the bullet and found a dog walker who came by twice a day while I was at work since I felt guilty about having Austin watch him if we were taking a breather. It seemed to be working fine, but I was sure Blue missed Austin almost as much as I did. “Come on, let’s go see what Taylor’s up to.”

I headed into the kitchen to find Taylor removing takeout containers from a bag. “I ordered us Indian.”

“That sounds great.” It didn’t actually sound great, but I would try to force some down. I usually loved Indian, but my appetite had up and abandoned me, just like my stupid heart.

“There are more flowers.” Taylor eyed me over the paper bag. “I set them on the coffee table, but we’re running out of places to put them. When are you going to put that boy out of his misery and call him already?”

“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. “I’m not sure how to get past it. Austin should have been honest with me from the start about Lexi working with him. We even talked about her once. He had the perfect opening to tell me. Now, I just wonder what other stuff he hasn’t told me, and if I can trust him to be honest with me in the future.”

Taylor arranged food on two plates and filled a bowl with naan. “Honey, can we have some real-talk?” I nodded, biting the corner of my lip. She continued on. “I think you’re being too hard on him. You know I’m Team Carter all the way, but I know Austin wasn’t trying to intentionally hurt you. It’s not fair for you to shut him out completely. I think you’re going to have to take a leap and meet him halfway. Tell him how you’re feeling. He might be able to ease your mind.”

WhatwasI feeling? I searched my brain for the root of all my panic, anxiety, and uncertainty. I could only come up with one thing. I was terrified. Taking a second chance life had given you meant the risks were so much greater, the distance to fall so much further. Tears stung my eyes. “I’m scared.”

“Oh, honey.” Taylor rushed around the kitchen bar, throwing her arms around me. “I know you are. Love is fucking terrifying if it’s the good kind.”

She held me for long minutes as I pulled myself together. “I don’t want to lose him.”

Taylor pulled back, giving me an encouraging smile. “You won’t. All you have to do is pick up the phone.”

My stomach twisted in knots. “I will, I just need a little more time to figure out what to say. Sorry to break down on you when you have so much going on, I’m a cruddy friend.”

“You are not,” she argued.

I studied Taylor’s face, her own eyes were lined with circles. “How are you? How’s your mom?”

A few days ago, Taylor had gotten the devastating news that her mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She was just waiting to hear what the treatment plan was now. “She’s hanging in there. I actually talked to her earlier today. They’re going to start chemo in a week.”

“That’s good that they’re moving so quickly, right?”

Taylor bit the side of her cheek. “It is, but I feel like I need to be with her when she’s going through treatment, so I’m going to take a leave of absence from teaching and go back to Texas for a bit. I’m sorry to leave you when you’ve got all this other crap going on, but I need to go.”

“Taylor, forget about me. I think it’s great that you’re going to be there for your mom. She needs you right now.” I meant it, I would miss Taylor like crazy, but she needed to be with her mom. “I wish I could go with you so I could take care of you while you’re taking care of her.”

She smiled a little wobbly at me and engulfed me in another hug. “Love you, Carter.”

“Love you, too, Tay. We’ll talk all the time. I’m always here for you. You know that, right?”

“I know that. I’m so glad your crazy roommate stalked down the guy you were in love with and threw herself at him, so you were forced to move in with me.” I pulled back slightly and just blinked at her. “Too soon?” she asked.

I burst out laughing. “Who knew we’d be thanking our lucky stars for Lexi?”

“She’d definitely be surprised to learn that.”

The next day,Ford pulled his car into a spot right in front of my house, the parking gods were with him today. I looked over at him as he shut off the engine. “You don’t have to walk me in, we’re right outside.”

“Now that Taylor’s gone, we’re just going to be extra careful.”

I groaned in response. Liam had already suggested that I move in with him until Taylor came back. I had a feeling that while Liam’s lips had been moving, it was Austin’s voice coming out of his mouth. “Fine, come on.” I punched in the gate code and unlocked my front door, but Ford pushed me aside to walk ahead.

“While you go check for ax murderers, I’m going to let Blue out of his crate.” At the sound of my voice, Blue started whining, and I could hear his tail thumping against the metal grate. I opened the door and was immediately bathed in kisses. Laughing, I fell back onto the floor, hugging Blue to my chest. “I missed you, too.”

“You spoil that dog.” Ford had already returned from his rounds.

“All quiet on the western front, soldier?”

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