Page 73 of Delicate Escape

All of a sudden, hands were cupping my cheeks. “Thea, look at me.”

I blinked rapidly, bringing Shep’s face into focus. It was only then that I realized I was shaking.

“That’s it. You’re okay.” His amber eyes searched mine. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Y-you didn’t.”

Shep’s gaze remained gentle, but his silence challenged my statement.

My tongue felt heavy in my mouth, thick, like I couldn’t get the words out around it. “He hated that I read those books.”

“Fuck,” Shep muttered.

“I know you’re not him. You’re not anything like him. I just—it’s like my body remembers it all and braces.”

Shep’s thumbs skated across my cheeks. “PTSD.”

I worried my bottom lip. I’d figured out that much, trying to research why I was still so scared all the time, even though I was safe. “It’s like my body’s betraying me all over again.”

“No,” Shep said, shaking his head. “Your body’s protecting you. It’s trying to look out for you. It’s just going to take time for it to realize that you’re okay. That no one’s going to hurt you.”

Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “It makes me feel like a freak.”

Anger flashed in Shep’s eyes. “That’s the last thing you are.” His thumb skated lower, to my pulse point. “You’re strong. So fucking brave. And you’re not letting him win.”

The tears wanted to break free so badly. “Sometimes, it feels like he already has.”

“No,” Shep clipped. “He hasn’t. Look at the beautiful life you’ve built for yourself here. And it’s only getting more beautiful.”

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “You don’t know everything.”

I couldn’t look at him. Not when I was about to tell him what I had to.

The rough pad of Shep’s thumb swept along the skin of my neck. “I know there’s more. But I also know there’s no way it could change the way I feel about you.”

Tears filled my eyes. He was wrong. There was no way it couldn’t. And losing the promise of those words would kill me. But it was better now than later. Just rip off the Band-Aid.

“I’m not just protective about my identity because I’m scared Brendan will find me,” I said softly.

Shep’s thumb kept stroking. “Okay.”

The feel of his hands on me was too much. Too good. All the things I was going to lose.

I pulled back, breaking the connection. Walking to the end of the deck, I stared out at the fields that led to forests I knew disappeared into mountains. I wanted to be like that landscape, moving and evolving. Ever-changing so no one could ever catch me.

I felt Shep at my back more than I heard him. But he didn’t touch me, seeming to sense that I needed some space.

“I told you Brendan was good at tech. I just didn’t realize how good until it was too late.”

Shep didn’t say anything, just waited.

“A few months after we broke up, I got fired. There was an accusation that I’d broken the nonprofit’s morality clause. But the same day, an anonymous number sent me an article about Brendan donating a million dollars to The Literacy Project.”

“He got you fired,” Shep growled.

I nodded at the field, not looking back. “I was almost relieved because I thought that would be it. It was over. He’d done his worst. He’d already alienated me from all my friends, other than Nikki. Ididn’t have anything left but work and her. I thought it was my chance to leave and start over. To finally be free.”

“But it wasn’t over?”

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