Page 51 of Delicate Escape

“You’re really going to eat that? So, your ex got you skinny, and I get the fat version?”

“I saw the way you were looking at him. He’s your type, isn’t he? You were hoping he’d take you into that back hallway and fuck you, weren’t you?”

“Such a fucking whore. I wish I’d known the truth about you when we met. But it’s too late now. You ruined my fucking life.”

And the sounds that accompanied them all. A glass shattering against the wall. A scream that was more animal than human, right in my face. A table slamming into a marble floor after being upended.

A single tear fell, darkening the caramel color of my overalls where it landed. I watched the wetness spread, infecting the threads around it, just like Brendan’s words had poisoned my brain.

But they were always followed by sweet nothings. Apologies. Promises.

“Selly. I’m so sorry. You know I’m a mess. I don’t deserve you. I should let you go, but I don’t know what I’d do without you. I don’t think I’d survive.”

A fresh wave of nausea ripped through me as Brendan’s face played in my mind. The anguish, the sorrow. Or had it all been an act?

I didn’t know. Because being with him had been like slowly losing my mind. It had taken months for me to get my footing again. Over a year to truly see how messed-up our relationship was.

But there were times, in the shadows of night, when a tiny pieceof me would start to doubt. Was I all the things he said? Or even some of them? My mind would twist itself into knots, trying to figure out what things were the truth and which were lies.Didmy eyes linger too long on the waiter as I thanked him for my meal?WasI too interested in what Brendan’s friend was telling us about his work with anti-malaria initiatives in Africa?

My fingers dug into my legs, nails cutting in, even through the canvas of my overalls. “You’re a good person.”

I whispered the words into the air around me. “You’re not perfect. But you try to be kind. You try to do right. You’re not evil.”

I repeated the assurances until my heart calmed and my breaths came more evenly. But I was exhausted. Tired to the bone from fighting the ghost that never seemed to leave me be. And I wondered if it ever would.

The sound of tires on gravel filtered through the open greenhouse door. I didn’t move for a second. Wasn’t sure I could. I didn’t think I had it in me to face Shep tonight. His goodness and light felt like everything that was just out of reach for me. Maybe something I didn’t even deserve.

I forced myself to my feet and started outside. As I walked toward the drive, I imagined painting on the layers of my mask. Pleasant, calm, easygoing. Nothing amiss. Everything just as it always was.

Shep slid out of his truck, the silver gleaming in the late-afternoon sun. Everything about it was so perfectly clean…like always. So opposed to the dirty, twisted things that lived inside me.

He smiled at me, his easy grin stretching across his face as he walked. Each step made his white tee stretch taut across his chest. “Hey, Thorn.”

I forced a smile. “Hi. I’m running a bit behind today. I still need to make the food. I’ll probably just give you yours and then head back to my desk. I told Duncan I’d work on a design project for him, and I want to get a jump on that. It’s a really good opportunity?—”

“Thea.” Shep’s hand curved around mine. So warm and strong andgood. “What’s going on?”

I tugged free, my eyes burning. I couldn’t handle feeling all thatwas Shep. All that would never be mine because my mind would twist whatever we shared. I’d ruin it. And maybe even him.

“Nothing. I just have a lot on my plate. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be in the kitchen.” I started toward the house. Shep would do whatever he had to do. Maybe he would realize that I was a raving bitch and leave. That would probably be for the best.

“Is this about Brendan Boseman?”

I stopped dead. Blood roared in my ears as my pulse thrummed. I turned slowly around. “What did you say?”

Hurt swirled in Shep’s amber eyes. “I know, Thea.”

And then my whole world came crashing down.

20

SHEP

I watchedas the blood drained from Thea’s face. I hated myself for being the cause of it, but I wasn’t about to let her shove me away. Close the door on something Iknewhad been a miracle for us both.

But just as quickly as she’d paled, color returned to her face and then some. Thea’s cheeks bloomed red, and her eyes flashed. “Did you look into me? What? Get your ex-FBI pal to check my fingerprints or something?”

“No.” I did everything I could to keep my voice calm and even. “I saw you looking at the magazine. Noticed it tweaked you. I wanted to know why.”

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