Page 124 of Echoes of You

“I need a minute. I just—I can’t.” Nash started for the back door and then paused. “I can’t leave you alone.”

Those shattered pieces dug in deeper. “Grae’s coming over.” It was the last thing I wanted to say. I wanted to beg him not to leave. Wanted to throw myself at him and not let go. But I wouldn’t hold him hostage. Couldn’t do that to him.

His head moved in a jerky nod, and then he was gone.

Why did that feel like goodbye? Silent words clawed at my throat, the ones that begged him to stay. Ones infused with the knowledge that he consumed me, body and soul. But I shoved them down.

Instead, I watched as Nash disappeared into the house. A few seconds later, I heard an engine start and tires on gravel.

I felt the tick of each second. Every one felt like a knife plunging into my chest.

Clyde licked my cheek. I wrapped my hands around his neck and buried my face in his fur. “It’s gonna be okay. He’ll be back. We’ll work it out.”

I had to have faith. I’d blindsided Nash with the thing I knew would hurt him the most. Because Nash had always been my protector. The fact that he could’ve been the catalyst for my pain was more than he could take.

Everything inside me twisted into a tight spiral of anxiety. Fear that Nash would never be able to see past this and would always blame himself. That it would eat away at our relationship like cancer.

I didn’t know how long I stayed like that, simply holding on to and accepting the comfort of a sweet dog. Finally, I let out a slow, shaky breath and released Clyde. He nosed my side as if to say,“It’ll be okay,”and then went off in search of his ball. Pushing to my feet, I started for the back door. My eyes ached something fierce, and I headed for the bathroom.

I turned the water as cold as it would go, splashing my face repeatedly. I welcomed the bite of it and the soothing coolness on my abused eyes. After a few moments, I reached for a towel and dried off.

As my head lifted, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and winced. My face was puffy and red. My eyes bloodshot.

The ringing coming from my back pocket startled me out of my examination. I fumbled to pull my phone out of my pocket, hoping it was Nash. Disappointment swept through me as I saw Grae’s name on the screen.

I thought about ignoring the call for a moment but then hit accept. “Hey, G.”

“I’m running a little late, sorry. Wait, are you sick? Your voice sounds weird.”

That was a nice way of putting it. I sounded like a cross between a frog and an eighty-year-old chain smoker. “I think I messed up.”

“What happened? Are you okay? I’m breaking some speeding laws. I’ll be there soon.”

God, she was such a good friend. “I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

I gripped my phone tighter as I stepped into the hallway and wandered toward the living room. “I kept something from Nash.”

The hum of Grae’s car sounded over the line. “What kind of something? Like you don’t actually like that awful pizza you two always order, or that you’re secretly a serial killer?”

A noise escaped my throat, one that wanted to be a laugh but didn’t quite make it. “One of Adam’s biggest triggers was Nash.”

Grae sucked in a sharp breath in instant understanding.

“I never wanted him to know, but Nash wasn’t getting it. He doesn’t understand just how much Adam hates him. How much Adam wants to ruin him. He needed to understand.”

“Maddie…”

The tears came then. “I never wanted him to know,” I said again. “I never want to hurt him.”

“I know,” Grae assured me. “And Nash knows that, too, but I bet he went postal.”

“He went freaky calm and then just left.”

Grae cursed. “I’m so sorry. He’s always been that way. Needs space to figure things out. He’ll come back.”

When he’d taken that space before, he’d wanted it with me. I’d lost track of how many times Nash had shown up at my house or work and asked me to go for a drive with him. We’d sit in silence until he was ready to talk it all out.

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